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The Celestial Bureaucracy: Destiny, Heaven, Seasons, Humanity, Nature

The Bureau of Humanity

The Divine Witnesses of Human Works and Deeds organize and oversee the works and dwellings of humanity. In the Second Age, their hierarchy deals primarily with places; the authority of the Department of Universal Human Affairs, the branch of the Bureau that deals with concepts and human activities, has been stripped away in recent centuries by the Department of Abstract Matters in the Bureau of Heaven.
Divinity Count: 51

Five Directions Directorate

  • Wun Ja, God of the Shining Metropolis, the Director of Humanity
  • Yo-Ping, Celestial Minister of Harmony (Bastions of the North, pg.19)
    • Jagalza, the Satrap of the Realm
      • Ameru, the God of Meru
      • Gri-Fel, the God of the Imperial City
      • Chung Ting, the God of Juche (Patkin)
        The goddess Chung Ting has many rumors following her - that she is Ameru's daughter, that she brokered the deal between the Mountain Folk of Juche and the Scarlet Empress and other dark rumors. Chung Ting has served the Celestial Bureaucracy dutifully since her birth following the establishment of Juche at the feet of Mount Meru, and has never tired in ensuring the safety and productivity of Juche. When she manifests, she inevitably takes the form of a sturdy, motherly figure clad in white jade and ivory super-heavy plate. Her skin is more akin to rock than flesh and her eyes glitter like rubies.
    • Sunset Wave, the Satrap of the West (Quendalon)
      The goddess of the West dwells in an archipelago of islets, bridges and mossy towers that rises from an artificial lake at the edge of Yu-Shan. She is by far the weakest of the four Directional Satraps, as there are few people and few marks of civilization in the Wyld-washed West. This pearl-crowned goddess owes far more favors than she can ever repay, but none would dare refuse her requests, lest the West dissolve at the hands of the Fair Folk.
    • Tambora of the Thousand Faces, the Satrap of the East (Quendalon)
      This dark, slender goddess dwells in a wondrous palace of worked stone, living wood and rainbow adamant. She is whimsical by nature; her interest in, and affections for, the mortals and locales under her care shift from day to day. She is the most overtly political of the Directional Satraps, but her mercurial nature precludes her from developing any truly long-term plans... or so her fellows believe.
      • Gen, the God of Nexus, Minister of Ways of the Council of Entities
      • Leeayta, the God of Rathess, the Lizard Queen
      • Tien Yu, the God of Lookshy (EtO, p22)
      • Tu Yu, the God of Deheleshen (EtO, p22)
    • Zocho, the Satrap of the South (Quendalon)
      The god of the South appears as a man with hair and beard of fire and skin like black glass, clad in robes of flowing sand. His branch of the Bureau is more corrupt than most, as the Southerners offer up much worship to the spirits. As a result, Zocho makes a special effort to remain well-connected with other gods, including the Constellation-gods of the Bureau of Destiny, offering favors and kick-backs to ensure that his subordinates' activities are not audited.
      • The Golden Lord, Patron of An-Teng
        • The Pale Mistress, Devourer and Destroyer, Goddess of Pain and Hardship in An-Teng
      • Grandmother Bright, the God of Chiaroscuro
      • Black Quarry, the God of Gem (Patkin)
        The god of Gem is a haggard-looking man with eyes of fool's gold, teeth of silver, skin like black glass and hair of splintered gemstone. Thin, panicky and despairing, Black Quarry is almost constantly afflicted with visions of his city's destruction at the hands of everyone and everything. As a result, his office is a shelter for the paranoid and the distrustful. Heavenly gossip tells of Amoth City-Smiter's frequent "visits" to Black Quarry, which are little more than shakedowns.
      • Weary Heron, Plenipotentiary of the South (HotBG p80)
    • Torngasak, Walker on Bitter Paths, the Satrap of the North (Jiba)
      The god of the North appears as a brawny, middle-aged man, with long white hair and beard, covered with a fine film of ice. His skin is grayish like that of a whale and always slightly cool. He only has one arm and instead of a hand, Torngasak has the paw of an polar bear. His eyes look like pearls of glass. He wears wide robes of fine fur and hides, that always seem to move in the wind even if there is none. He lives in a great mansion build entirely from ice and snow. In the middle of his residence burns a great blue fire, illuminating and warming the whole mansion. A survivor par excellence,Torngasak knows how to make his living, although he is neither as rich as Zocho nor as powerful as Tambora. He seems to be the only one, who understands the situation of the destitute Satrap of the West.
      • Nootaikok, God of Gethamane (Jiba)
        The god of Gethamane is a somewhat odd and silent person. Noone has ever heard him say a word, but he transfers dreamlike pictures in the minds of his followers to communicate with them. He looks like a hairless young man, veiled in grayish robes and with completely black eyes without pupils.

Department of Universal Human Affairs

    • Amoth City-Smiter, God of Tumbled Ruins, the Sub-Director of Bribery and Finance
      • Rupan Jade-Snatcher, God of Thievery (Patkin)
        The wolf-faced god of thieves has long since abandoned his palace in Yu-Shan, prefering to roost in the Bastion District of Nexus. Clad in robes of green or red jade depending on his mood, Rupan Jade-Snatcher plots and schemes the next big caper, desperate to outshine any whom would call themselves thieves. Though not a member of the Guild, he has connections running from the top factors of the organization down to the lowliest apprentice merchant, most of whom make prayers to Rupan's favor.
        • Ascendent Golden Scales, God of Unfair Trade, Advocate of the Guild in Heaven (DS)
          Ascendent Golden Scales appears as a short, Eastern man or woman, typically quite fat in either gender, with eyes and hair of bright gold, dressed in the finest silks. Around his neck, he has a heavy silver chain of office, with iron manacles binding wrists from straying too far again. On the back of his robe is an scale, embroidered in ruby and silver thread. Ascendent Golden Scales presides over all unfair merchenticle transactions, where one side profits unfairly at the expense of another. He constantly squables over what precisely is and isn't fair- not helped by a nasty breakup with Yangean, the Heavenly Magistrate of Just Trade, some time ago (who now tends to charge even grossly unfair trade practices as perfectly legitiment, to deny them from Golden Scales). Ascedent Golden Scales is also the personal advocate of the Guild in Heaven- he has taken them under his wing, although not for no charge- most of the highest members of the Guild have bought entire slave caravans, using them for the exclusive purpose of worshiping Ascendent. He hasn't been audited since the Dragonblooded Rebellion- but with the Ambrosia he's pulling in, even after bribes, it's only a matter of time.
      • Maier of Scales, God of Usury (Patkin)
        • Suneja of the Black Hands, God of Extortion (Patkin)
        • Achekis the Wretch, God of Blackmail (Patkin)
      • Plentimon of the Dice, God of Gambling
    • Rajani the Inscrutable, Maharani of Cats, Liaison to the Bureau of Nature (Ikselam)
      The blue-eyed goddess of all cats does double-duty as goddess of household pets, despite regular challenges from Arshyan the Stalwart, god of dogs. She holds a station in the Bureaus of both Nature and Humanity, and is expected to mediate whenever conflicts arise between them, an event which occurs on a fairly continual basis. She constantly commutes back and forth between offices, and her personal staff is always swamped in a nightmarish morass of redundant and contradictory paperwork as they attempt to reconcile the directives issued by the two bureaus. Despite this, Rajani clings tenaciously to her post, mainly because it allows her to cultivate contacts among the various gods of humanity.
    • Sarasvathy, Shogun of Human Communication and Conversation (Jiba)
      Sarasvatys oversees language and all other forms of human communication. Having the appearance of a naked, bronze-skined girl with yellow hair, her childish body is tattooed with letters, that flow over her skin and shapeshift to create phrases in all known languages. Ironically, she never speaks a word, but everyone talking to her feels instinctively what she would have said. She works extensively with Meldre in the Division of Journeys.
      • Duffu-Manu, God of Sleaze, Master of all Depraved Innuendo (ArabianNinja)
        Duffu-Manu is a notorious god from the Division of Serenity, known for his fantastic, if ill-cared-for, timing to appear in all situations which could be misconstrued as lecherous in nature. Nevertheless he is also able to make himself available when such situations are lecherous to begin with. His appearance is of a stunningly handsome man with perfect locks of gold, his eyes however are black and feartureless to hide his line of sight as they gaze where they should not, for moments that are far from acceptable. He is known to appear at any party or gathering in Heaven, invited or not, carrying a bowl of trail mix.
      • Haulili, Minister of Western Languages (Jiba)
      • Oghmas, Minister of Northern Languages (Jiba)
      • Akyaquee, Head Monk of Stories (UncleChu)
        One of the most majestic gods in Yu-Shan, Akyaquee's appearance brings tears to the eyes of those that gaze upon her, yet strangely, few can agree on her exact visage. She is still incredibly embittered by the leaving of Spinner of Glorious Tales and Weaver of Dreams of Victory to Great Forks well over 500 years ago, and petitions for the dissolution of Great Forks, but despite her power, these requests fall on deaf ears. When she cannot pursue this grand goal, she does an excellent job of maintaining her post. Rumors abound that she is not entirely unsympathetic to the berserk machinations of the Fair Folk.
        • Gaokul, Consul of Humor (UncleChu)
          More sphere-shaped than humanoid, Gaokul's skin shines like highly polished bronze, and his limbs are little more than flippers upon which he slides around as though he were ice-skating. His voice is unpleasantly raspy, and unfortunately his conversation tends more towards great swelling words of vanity than words befitting his position.
          • Uss, Joujuu of Anecdotes (UncleChu)
            Uss is a horribly unassuming looking old man with a perpetual grin and a twinkle in his eye. He is clad in fine robes, and perpetually smokes a pipe, though this pipe is as much a part of his Essence as his limbs and face. He demands constant reports from his inferiors, to read on his favorite chair in front of a roaring fire.
    • Ixlos, God of Invention (HandofOmega)
      • Vanileth, Shogun of Artificial Flight
        • Relza, Aerial Satrap of Rathess
        • Erana, Aerial Satrap of Lookshy (Patkin)
    • Rabszogla, God of Slavery (Roll of Glorious Divintiy, p.)
      • Sigur, Lord of the Kept, God of Human Bondage (Ikselam)
        Sigur presides over slavery, and all other ways in which humans can be in the service of others. He appears as a muscular black man with the head of a mule, his wrists and ankles shackled together and a heavy iron collar encircling his neck. Despite his trappings of bondage, he is a domineering and uncompromising taskmaster, and maintains firm control over his subordinates. Sigur is an outspoken opponent of corruption among the Bureaus, and has spent the last several decades assembling a commission to investigate possible methods of reform.
      • Soliver Peacock-Eyes, Sultan of Pimps (Ikselam)
        The chief god of the subdepartment in charge of prostitution appears as a heavyset Southern man with a neatly-trimmed beard and moustache, and hypnotic, iridescent eyes. He is usually seen dressed in silken finery and his characteristic feathered turban, and is always accompanied by a retinue of houris, spirit concubines who feed him delicacies and drugs, fan him with palm-fronds, perform secretarial duties, and pleasure him without complaint or concern for propriety. Soliver is a jovial, well-spoken fellow, and is a very popular guest at Yu-Shan parties. He also runs a very high-class escort service, providing clients with the services of literal gods and goddesses of love and beauty -- for an appropriately astronomical sum, of course. However, he refuses to pimp any of his direct subordinates, even if they request it; he feels that his private business and official duties should be kept firmly separate.
      • Uhura the Unfettered, Goddess of Emancipation (Ikselam)
        Uhura appears as a proud woman with bronze skin and long, unruly hair. Short lengths of broken chain dangle from her iron manacles and collar. Although most people (and gods) associate her with slave rebellion, she actually considers her primary bailiwick to be legal manumission. It is said that she bears some close relationship to Sigur; a long-standing rumor has it that she was once his human slave, and that he freed her and raised her to godhood as a reward for some great service.
    • Ovin-Bareth, Prince of Grain, God of the Threshing Floor (Quendalon)
    • Ahandenwe-Welgo</i>, Daimyo of the Hunt nikink
      • Bright Spearpoint, Southern God of Hunting (<i>HotBG p73)
    • Fearful Wailing</i>, Progenitor of Disease and Director of Ill-Health (Nikink)
      • Black Eye Cyst, Southern Commissioner for the Board of Ill-Health (<i>HotBG p80)
    • Faradai, Artificer of Most Efficacious Prostheses (Thnktfthbx)
    • Dikanchou Dayang, God of Heroic deeds. (Molikai)
    • Chysserad, Emperor of Government and Civilization
      Chysserad is in charge of making sure governments function. Extremely self-important, without him humanity would indeed lapse into anarchy. Many of the other gods support him in his position, even though he doesn't acknowledge them. He dons a purple robe that flows over the horizon, and a red carpet unrolls before his feet with every step. He holds a scepter in one hand and a sphere in the other, and a dove and hawk circle around his crowned head endlessly. It is impossible to tell if Chysserad is listening when he is addressed. He loves and hates Muza at the same time, for Muza topples governments, but also instates new ones. (UncleChu}
    • Takht-e-Tavous, Goddess of Trafficking (Stanoje)
    • Yu Fan, God of Sports (BogMod)
      • Brad, God of Bad Sportsmanship (Han'ya) - He appears as a red-faced, perpetually angry-looking overly muscular peasant native of the Blessed Isle, wearing some kind of sports uniform. His feet are perpetually dirty from dirt-kicking, his knuckles are literally made of brass, and he can only speak in loud, semicoherent rants. He is a staunch supporter of House Sesus, since they comprise a great chunk of his domain. Ironically, they once opposed his promotion from God of Crotch-Knocks and Nipple Cripplers to his current position, but were thwarted by his allies in House Mnemon. The agreements he had signed with them, he immediately ignored upon promotion, as appropriate for his new office.

Gods of the Bureau Who Have Not Been Further Subranked

  • Faradai, Artificer of Most Efficacious Prostheses - God of prosthetic replacements.


black quarry = teh funney! - Quendalon

I concur. _Ikselam especially loved the part about Amoth.

Yo-Ping is actually under Wun Ja, but above the directional ministers. I didn't want to edit all of the subranking categories. StalkerofShadows