ArtifactRelay/BlatantRipoffs

The twenty-fourth theme is Blatant Ripoffs

I'm sure I've seen these artifacts somewhere before... consult your lawyers, because this relay is all about blatant ripoffs!

• back to CrunchRelay.
• back to Artifacts.

---

Fool's Gold - PassengerPigeon

Artifact: •

Commitment: 1m

This small lump of glimmering orichalcum seems somehow obviously valuable; merchants salivate at a mere glance. It can be used to make any single purchase of up to Resources ***. Each sunset, it vanishes from its current location and reappears on its owner's person. Unfortunately, with its departure, the nature of the deception becomes evident to anyone present at the transaction who makes a Perception + Larceny or Occult roll upon learning of the disappearance.

---

The Changing Face of Practical Matters - willows

Artifact: ••

Attunement: 2m Jade

When it is not worn, this Artifact is a delicate silken mask, woven of extremely fine filaments of jade, whose appearance changes to match that of the attuned user. When it is worn, it is imperceptible by any means.

The character wearing the mask may rip off the mask at any time. Doing so reveals that he was always actually some other person. This other person must be an Essence channeller who is not already present at the scene, but involved in the circumstances at large. This person is forcibly attuned to and wearing the mask. The prior wearer of the mask turns out to always have been somewhere elsewhere at the time. (For comprehension's sake, this effect is related to the Avoidance Kata.)

A character attuned to benefit from the special alchemy of jade may tear off the mask to reveal that he is in fact one of the people who is already present at the scene. In this case, any instances of that person who are present may be wearing the mask; it is indeterminate which it may be until one of them removes it.

Finally, the mask exerts a social influence on all those in its presence; when they attempt to use Investigation on any person, they must spend 1 Willpower or attempt to unmask that person. Unmasking the mask's wearer has the effect of the wearer unmasking himself; he decides who is underneath.

---

The Coveted Case of Obscurity - DarkPhoenix

Artifact: •••

Commitment: 1m Special

The coveted Case of Obscurity is an average-looking rectangular silver metal box, about the size of eight tomes stacked two by two by two, with a small handle on one side, and a runic lock, requiring three particular runes, of the ten avaiable, to be selected all three runic dials.

Despite it's average appearance, the Coveted Case of Obscurity has a sense of importance about it. Anyone who picks up the Coveted Case of Obscurity, and maintains a hold over it for at least thirty minutes, is now treated as it's owner, at which point the Case forcibly attunes itself to them.

The Coveted Case of Obscurity is important to the denizens of Creation, and the surrounding domains (e.g. the Underworld, Yu-Shan, etc.) but no one could give a reason as to why, just that it is. Every person, spirit, god, etc. with an Essence above 2 who notices the case is forced to roll their Essence, plus a relavant ability, to determine what it is they are perceiving. For example, an Essence + Lore roll might tell them it has high importance to scholars, while an Essence + Larceny roll might tell them it's worth a lot, or at least, what's inside it is worth a lot. The character then rolls their Temperance as an opposed roll to the Essence + Ability roll; if there are successes remaining, they instantly desire it.

Note that the owner cannot unattune the Case and 'get rid of it'; the only way they can rid themselves of the Case is if someone else takes it. However, due to the nature of the Case, almost all who hold it want it. Mechanically, every day the owner of the case may make an opposed roll between their Essence and their Temperance. If Temperance wins, then they have reigned in their desire, and may leave the Case somewhere, in the hope someone else will take it, but they still feel a calling towards it. Every day after that they are still attuned to the Case, they are forced to roll again, this time with one less Temperance die than before. E.g. Day one = -1 die, day two = -2 dice, etc. Failure on this roll forces them to rush back and reclaim the Case.

For the bearer of the Coveted Case of Obscurity, it's much-desired nature is both a blessing and a curse. Mechanically, the character loses 3 dice from all Stealth rolls while in possession of the Case, as it's nature will not let it be hidden, and they may constantly be hunted by Essence-wielding beings who desire the case; this may be a problem, or a solution, depending on the circumstances. To facilitate this, Storyteller's may wish to have the Player roll his Essence every day/week/month, etc. to represent a 'Luck Roll'. For every success on this roll, there is one person/spirit/whatever in within eyeshot of the case who desires it; for fun, Storytellers can make this roll themselves in secret.

However, conversely they gain 3 extra dice in up to 3 appropriate abilities, of the Player's choosing. For example, the nature of the case may allow the character to better impress someone (Socialise), make a better deal with a shifty merchant (Larceny), find the essence user in a party of mortals, as only Essence 2 and above can sense the importance of the Case (Awareness), etc.

The exact nature of the extra dice are left up to agreement between the Player and the Storyteller. These three dice are treated as specialties in that they don't count towards the number of dots a character has in said ability, and can only be used in situations they can apply the Case to. However, they do not count against the 3-die cap for specialties.

The exact contents of the case are unimportant. Anyone who successfully opens the case will remember only 2 things about the contents: that they are very important and/or valuable, and they they glod gold, a light visible to anyone looking at the open case from afar; this light is bright enough to read from, for those desiring to use it as such. However, anyone who opens the case will forget anything about the contents except for these two facts; this is similar to the Sidereals Arcane Fate, as evidence of the Starmetal used in it's construction.

---

Contradictory Maniple - David.

Artifact: ••••

Commitment: 5 motes

An articulated glove of smooth silver panels, the Contradictory Maniple gives the wearer's hand a rather insectile quality. Held in just the right light, spirit-scorpions can be seen cavorting in the mirrored surface. In addition to functioning as a smashfist (which counts as whatever Magical Material the attuning wearer desires, but gains no Magical Material bonuses), the Contradictory Maniple allies the character with the Arthropods of Controversion. When anyone verbally disagrees with a claim made by the wearer, the spirit-scorpions take umbrage! Audibly chittering their opposition, they beg the Maniple's master to offer rebuttal at this slight. While the spirit-scorpions speak softly, and speak no mortal tongue, it is not hard to tell that they are not happy at someone disagreeing with their master.

The Exalt must touch the dissenter's face to enable the spirit-scorpions gleefully envenom the offender. This will probably require you to make a Brawl or Martial Arts attack, because I know that if you were trying to touch my face with your freaky magic silver hand, I would probably try to not let that happen. His face is hideously and painfully ripped off, causing him to take one die of lethal damage, and lose two Willpower! Furthermore, the tearing-away of his countenance is a spectacle, obvious to all present, and indeed demanding their attention! All persons within sight will stop what they are doing to see this gruesome happening. The removed face may be used for whatever purpose the Maniple-bearer desires, and will not decay unless the character loses his attunement to the Manible, or chooses to let it decay (this choice is irreversible); in either case the decay corresponds to the period the face spent detached from its previous owner, happening over the course of only a few hours.

---

The Cursed Hands - haren

Artifact: •••••

Acc +3(5) Dam +6L Rate 3 Range 50

Commitment: 8 motes

These gloves are beautifully made gauntlets of an unidentifiable leather with silvery weaving of soulsteel throughout. It is said they were forged in the very hell they are linked to.

The wearer who has properly attuned himself to them is able to reach beyond the veil of the world and pull forth the essence of the twisted realm itself forth as a weapon. These are then able to be used as darts and thrown or can be looked into to see what lies within the realm. Each strike draws forth the user's Essence from the victim, half of which (rounded up) goes to the user.

But the most vicious of the abilities is that upon being killed by the essence of the twisted realm, the victim is drawn into it body and soul and so becomes one of the Tormented. The user may at any time decide to summon forth the Tormented to battle. Any they kill take their place in the twisted realm, waiting in suffering till they are given their chance to win their freedom with the enslavement of another. The user may hold double their permanent Essence in (Perm Essence of the) Tormented in the Twisted Realm at any one time. Should they be destroyed, they are also freed of their prison.

Tormented are considered to be identical (with the changes mentioned here) in all ways to the being that they once were in all powers and abilities are equal to what they once were. They have thrice their normal health levels, and even then are unable to be destroyed without magic. This includes those who were once Exalted still having their charms, sorcery and appearing with a full essence pool. It is suspected that this means that the spark of Exaltation is trapped in the realm until freed by being summoned.

Comments

I liked the Fool's Gold, but may I be the first to point out that The Changing Face is a fantastic artifact, willows. Kudos also for the double reference on the theme! ...DeathBySurfeit

Thanks, DBS, but I gotta ask, what is with the lame-as-hell theme? Obviously I made it awesome by being awesome, but it's kind of weird for you, who are no slouch yourself, to suggest a theme of such pervasive creative laziness. - willows

I don't mean to sound, uh, paternal, or anything, but I'm kinda disappointed, DBS. You're usually pretty sharp, but this theme is kind of, like, "write artifacts as though you were Neph". - David.

Um, sorry? I thought it would make a welcome change from the particularly esoteric string of themes we've had recently, but evidently not. At least it's finished in record time. If a theme sucks, tell me about it rather than suffering in silence...DeathBySurfeit

For such a "lame" theme, it seemed to inspire people enough to a) come up with decent artifacts, and b) finish the relay in what is an extremely quick time frame for a relay.-Ambisinister

Do you think this was accidental? Pigeon, David, haren and I explicitly came together on IRC and said to one another, "We will make the best of this." - willows

That description turned out to be a lot longer than I thought it would be... --DarkPhoenix

Might the Coveted Case of Obscurity also be known as the MacGuffin? --Panache

Okay, apparently in the changeover, the name of the Contradictory Maniple was "corrected" to make no sense. It's a maniple. Named both for the liturgical article worn about the wrist, and for the Roman military unit (derived from "manipulus" - "handful", roughly). Maybe I'm overreacting, but the "correction" makes me look stupid, and I dislike that. ;) - David.