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Pen Yaun, God of Impractical Foreknowledge

by OhJames

"I see... yes... I see... I see a woman... What is she doing!? Is that a chicken!? Oh... no... it's just the way she's holding the grapefruit..."

- Pen Yaun Himself.

"Wha' an awful creature! The mo'ent 'e met me 'e hollered, 'Ack! My domain may be only that which is inapplicable, but I see our future all too clearly!' Then 'e vanished! I jus' wanted to offer my services... "

- Flittering Shroud, serial worshipper.

"What a wonderful person... he told me the most amazing things! And all he wanted in return was some 'unspecified favor' or something... I can't wait for my future!"

- Nodding Poppy, naïve and ill-fated grocer's assistant.

It takes a canny creature to make a fortune from unpleasant circumstances. Pen Yaun, God of Impractical Foreknowledge, is just such a creature.

He is a god of the future, of destiny, and of fate. Thus, he holds a position in the Forbidding Manse of Ivy, albeit a cursory one, as even the Sidereals cannot seem to figure out much of an application for his "talents," which are, by nature, inapplicable -- or, at least, inapplicable at first glance. But Pen Yaun has had millennia to grow accustomed to his skills. Currently, he resides in Drunken Wind Street, keeping an ostensible watch on the rogue gods there. He takes the form of a scholarly man, thin, but with a clever, green light in his eyes. His robes constantly whisper useless predictions about those in the room with him, ranging from the hair color of a deceased nephew to the price of a shipment of tomatoes had they not rotted on their barge. His thigh-length hair, made of wide parchment strips, constantly records all prophecies in emerald ink without aid of hand or pen. He is quite pleasant to talk to, but takes glee in misrepresenting the fates of mortals.

Although he has a shrine in the Chapel of the Earthbound Stars, he is not dead. He's just well-informed. But how? He extrapolates, drawing logical conclusions from the constant, illogical visions that plague the majority of his waking hours. For example, he foresaw the economic collapse of his neighborhood in Yu-Shan because of a repeated dream of a minor servant standing in line for Quintessence and coming back empty-handed. Of course, he is not right all the time, as shown by his ill-advised decision to side with the Solars during the Usurpation based on his vision of the Bull of the North's triumph over the Tepet legions. He's still kicking himself for that one.

You see, he has no context for any of his visions. He has to guess as to the time period and he is only rarely spot-on. He keeps a detailed journal in his Sanctum, along with a veritable mountain of cards which make some attempt to string the prophecies and visions together, but he still has to spend hours and hours cross-referencing if he wishes to come up with something relevant.

He struggles on, though, because he knows he's in for something big. He doesn't know what, but he knows that it's big and that it's coming.

Rumours

• Pen Yaun is working against his hated rival, Chih Fuo, Goddess of Pragmatic Wisdom, and intends to eventually destroy her and usurp her position.
• Pen Yaun has seen the end of the world and is desperately working to avert it, though he knows nearly nothing of the circumstances surrounding such a cataclysm. Were anyone to come up with some sort of evidence regarding his terrible vision, Pen Yaun would surely reward them with immortality.
• Pen Yaun is the secret patron of The Madwoman's Club, an eccentric and esoteric organization of crazies who spout off moronic prophecies and generally make a nuisance of themselves.

Secret

• Pen Yaun is the bastard son of Jupiter, Maiden of Secrets. She conceived him according to her own inscrutable purposes and sent him out into the world, ignorant of his heritage and cursed with a great power with almost no applications. Perhaps, with the coming Time of Tumult, his destiny will be made clear. But Jupiter is a fickle Maiden, loath to give up any fief of her domain. So Pen Yaun continues in ignorance.

Comments

Hey, a cool reference to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch! I like it. - amused Moxiane

What an awesome book. Nexus is a rather Pratchettian city, is it not? -- OhJames

I like it! Especially his hair, for some reason. *thumbs up* -Okensha

I really liked that part too. -- OhJames

Crudmuffins! I really wanted this one. Oh well, its a very good entry anyway ^_^ - Paladinltd

Wow, really cool. I was actually expecting something where he only see's stuff that won't change no matter if he tells people or not(it gets worked in). I like this better though(Less obvious). Congrats! --FlowsLikeBits