TheNexusProject/Kelyom

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Kelyom, God of the Chromatic Squid

by OhJames

"Oh... my poor children. They were going to be lovely, you know, but reports were misfiled, memos were lost... ah well, things happen and I soldier on."

- Kelyom Himself.

"I can't help but feel sorry for 'im. I mean, 'e'd got a big promotion in order then BAM! The thing 'e was supposed to be god of ain't there no more."

- Flittering Shroud, serial worshipper.

---

If you ever happen to wander down Drunken Wind Street, why not stop by to have a chat with Kelyom? Despite the fact that he takes the form of a floating octopus made of shifting, multicolored flame, he's quite the conversationalist. In fact, he's nearly desperate for contact, human or otherwise. That's only to be expected, however: how would you feel if you were the god of something that, through bureaucratic mismanagement, never, technically, existed?

It truly is a sad story. Several centuries ago, the Bureau of Nature decided it was time for a new species to enter Creation. It was to be a beautiful creature, delicate and graceful, possessed of precise control over its pigmentation. These Chromatic Squid were going to be the pride of the Eastern rivers, flashing in small schools like fragments of rainbow. They were even designed with the ability to leap free of the water, to glisten in the sunlight like many-faceted jewels. But a new species required a new god. So Kelyom was brought up from the depths of the Hierarchy of Type.

Originally, Kelyom was a minor assistant to the god of squid, a postition of absolutely no importance or power. Why he was chosen for such a heady promotion, not even he knows. All he knows is that Burnished Talon himself delivered the message that he, Kelyom, was to be god of an entirely new species! Kelyom could almost taste the prestige he would receive. The accolades! The influence! It would be glorious!

But somehow, it didn't work out.

After receiving the requisite Endowments to increase his Essence to the appropriate level, he waited for his beautiful new children to appear. He waited for years, but they never came. No schools of flashing rainbows, no jewelled bodies glistening in the sun. Gradually, the enthusiasm with which his promotion had been received waned; Burnished Talon didn't care about the god of something that didn't exist. So Kelyom was forced out of Yu-Shan to wander. He wound up in Nexus, where he spends his time slowly dwindling away and tending to his children. The only Chromatic Squid in all of Creation are the ghosts of one god's memories.

Rumours

• Kelyom is actually a Celestial fugitive who tried to overthrow Burnished Talon in centuries past. The sob story about his "children" is merely a ploy to win sympathy from mortals and gullible gods. He intends to return to Yu-Shan one day to finish what he started.
• The Chromatic Squid were actually created; it was only due to Kelyom's dreadful incompetence that they died out.

Secret

• Kelyom is not the victim of cruel chance, as he thinks he is; rather, the humiliation and disappointments he has suffered were inflicted upon him by the Bureau of Destiny. No one ever intended the Chromatic Squid to be created. Kelyom was set up. What should have happened was this: Kelyom accepts the position; the Chromatic Squid fail to show up; Kelyom is audited; Kelyom is sentenced to death by having his Essence forged into starmetal. Why this was not the case is unknown. Some suspect that Burnished Talon may have taken mercy on Kelyom due to the Daimyo of Function's desire to see new species created, but this is merely baseless speculation.

Comments

Ha! Even if you get no points, I really like this entry. Then again, I do tend to have a soft spot for anything that highlights the bastardliness of Sidereals ... but yeah. Nice work.
~ Shataina

Thanks! I was inspired when I read the little note inDrunken Wind Street. A god of something that never existed? Hiliarious! Or, possibly, tragic. I'm not sure I quite acheived either extreme, but I'm glad you liked it.
-- OhJames

Wow, this is hilarious. Great! I actually used it in the following way: Back when Kelyom was estacly waiting for his children to be created he helped a then minor scholar research some spells(mostly in a cosmetic sense). Thus, Kelyom ended up as the god of... Magma Kraken!(I added a Solar version also Summon Magma Servant) While spells and summoned constructs don't really need a god, this has helped him a bit. He could possibly teach the spells, if someone could find out that he had them in the first place. (This makes the spell more colorfull also). YMMV -- FlowsLikeBits

Cool! -- OhJames

I am using him and the spells in my game. I have a circle of solars operating more or less openly in nexus and he showed up to one of the Zenith's church services looking for work - Malikai