JungleBook/Preplan2b
JungleBook log 2, part b (pre-prelude)
This is where things start to roll.
- back toJungleBook/Preplan2a.
<Ikselam> So, Captain X was thinking what a nice day at sea it was.
- Domino listens intently, proud to be a part of this noble, non-island-vaporizing tradition!
<Ikselam> He thought to himself, "My name is not actually Captain X, it is really...."
<BigPat> About that
<BigPat> Is there any historical parallel for naming in the part of the world we come from?
<Ikselam> Pretty much anything non-European.
<Ikselam> People in the West -seem- to mainly have common-word names, like Swan or Quicksilver Falcon or Ebon Siaka.
<Ikselam> (With a siaka being an ill-tempered whale shark.)
<dissolvegirl> There's a lot of adjective-nouning going on in the books and stuff.
<Domino> Jengo Fett. Your name should be Jengo Fett.
<Ikselam> Jenga fett.
- Domino laughs.
<Ikselam> Raised and trained in the fabled tipping towers of jenga.
<Ikselam> So you could conceivably be Captain Devil Ray or something.
<Ikselam> And no one would think twice about it.
<BigPat> hmmmm
<Domino> Huh. Zombie Ray....
<BigPat> How's about Captain Qara Vachir?
<Ikselam> Sure.
<dissolvegirl> Death Zombie would be a good name.
<dissolvegirl> Or Qara Vachir.
<Ikselam> ...for a Deathlord.
<dissolvegirl> That was going to be my next suggestion.
<BigPat> It's roughly mongolian for black thunderbolt
<dissolvegirl> For a name, I mean; not that Pat play a Deathlord.
<Ikselam> Better than Dowager of the Irreverent Vulgate in Unrent Veils, anyway.
<Ikselam> Alright. Mongolia is more like the Southeastern Scavenger Lands, but this is a land of limitless opportunity!
<BigPat> I like to travel
<BigPat> hence the ship
<Ikselam> Right.
<Ikselam> Geez, I have been listening to Queens of the Stone Age on repeat for the past like 5 hours.
<Domino> Whereas I never got much into travel. Hence the island.
<Ikselam> I should... fix that...
<Ikselam> Ah.
<BigPat> why stay in one place and rob people when you can sail the world and rob people!
<Ikselam> So, if you are a swashbuckling corsair, you probably prey on Realm shipping. That's pretty much the thing to do in the West.
<Ikselam> Attack Realm ships and demand their precious cargo; if anyone on deck starts glowing in a color-coded elemental aura, run.
<Ikselam> (Alternately, check through spyglass to see if anyone on deck is wearing ornate jade armor and/or packing a daiklave [=buster sword] before even thinking about boarding.)
<BigPat> that's an even better idea!
<Ikselam> One day not too long ago, Captain Vachir attacked a Realm ship and took all its precious cargo!
<Ikselam> Who should happen to have been on this ship but...
<dissolvegirl> Chejop Kejak?
<Ikselam> No, silly, you!
<dissolvegirl> OH!
<dissolvegirl> ME.
<dissolvegirl> Okay.
<BigPat> We're loaded with booty, now off to some little-known island chain to celebrate in an appropriately piratey manner!
<Ikselam> This is all leading up to the treasure-chest thing.
<Ikselam> Which I still haven't figured out, but I'm sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something!
<BigPat> Maybe she was already chained to the chest in some magically unremovable fashion
<BigPat> which is why I had to take her along
<Ikselam> Handcuffed to a treasure chest?
<dissolvegirl> So Vaschir kidnapped me?
<dissolvegirl> This could be fun.
<Domino> Did Mr. Qara happen to have any mutinous crew members?
<BigPat> I was thinking more it was shackled to her torso or something, but handcuffs work
<Domino> Locked around her chest like a turtle's shell!
<dissolvegirl> "Oh, thank God you came along! They were going to sacrifice me for good sailing." "Really? Huh, sounds like a plan." *sploosh*
<Ikselam> Your ship could have been just sitting there waiting to be robbed because they were getting ready to toss you overboard to appease an angry ocean god you'd angered.
<BigPat> Hmm, ever since we brought her on board that chest she's attached to has been emitting vaguely sulphrous smells and we're all having nightmarish visions. Over the side you go!
<Ikselam> Naturally, you'd want to downplay this to the pirate captain.
<Ikselam> But he might figure it out when the lookout yells "Kraken, dead astern!"
<dissolvegirl> Right. I am SO TOTALLY a damsel in distress.
<Ikselam> Only in the prelude.
<BigPat> Ah crap, not the Kraken again. I told you carrying all that kraken bait was a bad ida!
<dissolvegirl> I know, silly.
<dissolvegirl> "Actually, they chained me to a chest of kraken-bait."
<Domino> Great, send the god-angering lady to the island full of human-hating gods.
<Ikselam> And your knight in shining armor tossed you over the side because you weren't pretty enough to risk a kraken for.
<dissolvegirl> "I mean.. CRAP! I knew I shouldn't have broken that pact with an Eclipse!"
<BigPat> I'm hard pressed to think of anyone pretty enough to risk fighting a kraken, actually, so it's nothing personal/.
<dissolvegirl> :D
<Ikselam> This is the point where she makes up a story about being a runaway Dynast.
<dissolvegirl> "Oh, I am SO REMEMBERING this the next time a Kraken wants you!"
<Ikselam> "Arr, cap'n, this chest be mighty heavy! What say we cut off the wench's leg and keep the treasarrrrrrr?"
<Ikselam> And this is the exact point where Elizabeth's character learned to hate pirates.
<Domino> No wonder she hates pirates.
<Domino> Hey!
<Ikselam> Speaking of, what's her name?
<BigPat> You know, scurvy first mate, that wouldn't be such a bad idea if she hadn't just spontaneously let slip that she's a runaway Dynast. Once I'm done laughing at so transparent a falsehood, then we can cut off her limbs
<Ikselam> "Yarr! The angry tentacle god be gainin' on us!"
<BigPat> Oh crap, chuck her over the side and lay on full sail!
<dissolvegirl> Umm.. I've been trying to come up with something ridiculously, stupidly flowery, long, and hopefully difficult to pronounce which can be shortened into something cute.
<Ikselam> Well, is she still a Realmie?
<dissolvegirl> I was thinking Ana, but everything I came up with sounded to Euro-nonsense for the Realm. Like Ananoriala.
<dissolvegirl> Yes.
<Ikselam> All you need to do for that is come up with the cute name first, then slap on random c-v pairs to either end and get a name.
<dissolvegirl> I'm tryin'!
<dissolvegirl> Hey.
<dissolvegirl> She could say Ana was short for something new every time.
<dissolvegirl> Outstanding.
<Ikselam> Sounds good.
<dissolvegirl> Anyway, yes. Her name is Ana, for all intents and purposes.
<Ikselam> So we have Ana, Oma(bwa), and Vaschir.
<Ikselam> Splash! Ana goes over the side!
<Ikselam> Boom! The angry squid-god's tentacles smash the ship!
<dissolvegirl> "Fuckers. Some day I'm SO becoming a ninja."
<Ikselam> Aieeee! Pirates go flying to their deaths!
<BigPat> I can't help but notice the angry sea deity is still closing on my ship, with that certain "devour! crush!" gleam in his eye
<Domino> Splurt! Vachir cuts off tentacles left and right!
<Domino> Swish! Ana wriggles!
<BigPat> Must...save...plunder!
<Ikselam> Sploosh! Vaschir sees treasure falling out of his ship's hold as water simultaneously rushes in!
<Domino> Wiz-owwwww! Ana and Vachir turn glowy!
<Ikselam> Oh no, there goes that precious orichalcum artifact he plundered from the stupid ship!
<BigPat> it's a good thing I can hold my breath for ten minutes, 'cause I'm going in!
<Ikselam> Crunch crunch! Kraken-god devours pirates.
<Domino> Rumble! Pirates give kraken-god heartburn!
<Ikselam> Tentacles bigger than the animatronic squid in 20000 Leagues flail through the water!
<BigPat> they're full of mongolian spiciness
<BigPat> wow, how amazingly well rendered!
<dissolvegirl> Roger has higher fps than most STs.
<Ikselam> Captain Vaschir swims through the water, which is becoming increasingly murky with blood and chum.
<Domino> This is why he's so poor: FX budget.
<Ikselam> I had a Mage game with an FX budget, once.
<Ikselam> $5 for glowsticks.
<BigPat> if only there was some way to decrease the animation budget!
- Ikselam folds hands in front of mouth.
<Domino> Well, if the animators die... wait that's been done.
<Ikselam> Will the shiny golden artifact sink and be lost in the murky depths forever!?
<dissolvegirl> Or at least until someone raises their stamina!?
<BigPat> all this chum is attracting a distressingly large number of sharks
<BigPat> I better make for land, or at least a large piece of what used to be my ship
<Ikselam> (Luckily it's stuck to a piece of wood, so it doesn't sink as fast as one would expect a hunk of dense metal to sink.)
<Ikselam> Meanwhile, bubbles flee toward the red-tinged light, far far above. Ana's ears pop as she plummets ever deeper!
<dissolvegirl> Oh no!
<dissolvegirl> She wriggles and strains, attempting to get out!
<Ikselam> Some ways away, Captain Vaschir's hand grabs the precious booty! The buoyant wood piece pops off and bobbles up toward the surface. He is now holding a 100 pound weight. Shit!
<BigPat> dammit!
<BigPat> Why must you put me in these moral dillemas!
<Ikselam> Ana's chains give out muffled clanks as she thrashes about, but do not give way!
<Ikselam> Anyway, what IS his artifact, anyway?
<Ikselam> A big ol' golden sword?
<BigPat> I was thinking some ornate, jewel encrusted astrolabe-thingy
<Ikselam> Pay attention to whichever of those "anyways" seems better to you.
<Ikselam> Okay, ornate astrolabe thingy it is!
<Ikselam> Said to be able to...
<Ikselam> ...guide the way to First Age ruins!
<BigPat> find some legendary lost treasure fleet
<BigPat> or that
<Ikselam> Or possibly lost treasure fleets!
<Ikselam> The limp-wristed Realm archaeologist wasn't sure!
<Ikselam> And he was too busy begging for his life (while simultaneously urging you to take Ana and the treasure chained to her) to go into specifics!
<Ikselam> But it tingles when you touch it.
<Ikselam> And the tingle feels like... money!!
<Domino> That's a heavy astrolabe!
<BigPat> exactly!
<BigPat> It's made of uranium, which is part of why it tingles as well
<Ikselam> Ana is by now, pretty sure that the darkness closing in on the edges of her vision isn't just from her increasing depth.
<dissolvegirl> She strains against the shackles with ALL OF HER HEROIC MORTAL STRENGTH!
<dissolvegirl> Both dots of it!
<Ikselam> Oh no, it takes a Strength + Athletics of 10 to break iron shackles!
<Ikselam> She's dooooooooooomed!
<dissolvegirl> Until...
<BigPat> if only she hadn't blown her starting character points on social skills!
<dissolvegirl> Pat: this is why it's an after-school special.
<Ikselam> With her last bit of breath, she sends an apropos comment bubbling up toward the surface!
<BigPat> hm, this air smells of pathos for some reason
<dissolvegirl> "*expletive deleted*"
<Ikselam> Darkness closes in!
<Ikselam> Then everything goes white!
<dissolvegirl> Ba na na!
<Ikselam> From where he is, struggling against the booty's weight, the captain sees a tremendous golden explosion light up the water!
<BigPat> as if my day wasn't bad enough already, someone's conducting nuclear testing in the area
<BigPat> goodbye remaining sperm count
<Ikselam> The kraken-god's writhing tentacles, clutching various bits and pieces of his ship, are silhouetted against it.
<Domino> You were never going to have kids anyway.
<Ikselam> The artifact is too heavy! It's pulling him down into the depths!
<BigPat> this was one of the two ways I always envisioned dying
<Ikselam> And wouldn't you just know it, his sleeve is caught on one of its baroque flanges.
<Ikselam> As his struggles intensify, the tingly feeling gets stronger!
<Ikselam> Suddenly the astrolabe weighs nothing at all!
<BigPat> yes!
<Ikselam> And the water around him is getting very bright.
<BigPat> take that, newtonian physics!
<Ikselam> He swims for the surface!
<Ikselam> He pops up above the ocean, filled with floating debris and limbs!
<Ikselam> (The ocean, not him)
<BigPat> well at least I'm intact and managed to hold onto this pricey-lookin' thing
<Ikselam> A tentacle the size of a good-sized date palm goes upside his head and he passes out.
