SJE/Session79

From Exalted - Unofficial Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Session 79

The Mad (as a) Hatter’s Tea Party

1st Ascending Earth RY769

The Vermillion Legion (reinforced) marches steadily north and east, away from Gem. The legionnaires march as one, a well drilled machine ready to enforce the will of the Realm, they did not question their orders on the way to the Jewel of the South, but some of them are questioning them on the way back. The stories have spread through the ranks, their prisoners, the Anathema, actually fought with some of their comrades against the Dead in Solaria. The officers are quick to quell such muttering in the ranks, for all know what the Immaculates teach about what happens to those who consort with the Sun-Devils. The Immaculate Teachings are one thing, but soldiers are the same across Creation, and when the Captain and Shizu come across a dice game one evening they are not turned away. The Solars spend a few hours each night with the men, and taking care to lose enough of the Roseblack’s money that the men can see that they are in many ways the same as they are. As the days pass the tension level amongst the soldiers lessens, the Roseblack is confident that the oaths sworn will stop the Solars from harming her men, and now their attention is turned away from the demons in their midst.

The Legion passed through the imposing Perfect Gateway that was the main entrance into the city of Paragon. The walls that surrounded the ancient city were bleached white stone, seemingly clad in marble and shimmering in the sun, but all knew that they were of First Age construction and still standing unchanged since the Usurpation. From the highest points of the city flew flags, brilliant white emblazoned with the ruby Eye of Paragon, great grey banners hung from the walls with the aquiline profile of the Perfect presented for all to see. Lining the streets were hundreds of Paragonese citizens, all wearing uniformly dull grey clothes, all staring silently at the procession of Legionnaires and their “captives”.

”Remember our agreement,” says the Roseblack to the Watch, ”and please, try to look defeated…”

The Captain, possibly deliberately mishearing starts to waddle down the road clutching the seat of his pants, ”Defeated? No, I heard defacated!” 

Shizu smirks sarcastically at this, swaggering down the road, whistling nonchalantly as if she hasn’t a care in the world. That is until the sound of her whistling starts slipping away and she notices that on the street corners, clad is stripy jumpers and white gloves the mimes of Paragon are watching her. <size=1>”One of us… One of us… One of us…”</size> they mime towards her, recognising within her the taint of “…”.

The Captain spots this and turns to look at Shizu, notebook in hand, furiously sketching further links between the Night caste and the Great Mime Conspiracy!

Brand meanwhile starts taking notes of his own, plotting out a rough map of the city in case they need to escape, or invade later. He actually finds this much easier than he expected as Paragon is laid out in a rigid grid pattern with the streets that run NorthSJE/South labelled numerically and those that run WestSJE/East labelled alphabetically. Not very imaginative these Paragonese eh? he mutters to himself as he works.

The procession soon arrives at the Palace-Manse of the Perfect, glowing brightly with essence under Brand’s All Encompassing Sorcerer’s Sight. There the Roseblack dismisses the Legion to their bivouac outside the city walls and accepts an honour guard of the Perfect’s palace guards. The Solars, Lunar, Ledaal Takei and Tepet Ejava are escorted through the great halls of the manse. Each corridor they pass through is identical to the last, pristine marble walls that seem to glow with an inner light, finely detailed statues of the Perfect set into auspiciously located alcoves and high arched ceilings. Eventually they arrive at the central audience chamber, a vast room dominated by the Perfect’s throne set high on a dias against the back wall. The walls are adorned with large banners emblazoned with the Perfect’s profile, and the sigil of Paragon and at the base of the steps leading up to the throne was a massive dining table, surrounded by chairs and arrayed with a vast range of serving dishes and cutlery, all made from an odd grey material.

Upon the throne, holding his staff of office (which to Brand’s enhanced sight glowed with power, threads of essence streaming from it to connect to the manse, and the sigils on the palms of the Paragonese soldiers that marked them as oathsworn to the Perfect, Rav remembers it clearly as an experimental artefact designed to allow the user access to powers some would deem unnatural) sat the Perfect.

<img>http://simpsonsmania.covers.de/Infos/burns2.gif</img>

One of the guardsmen took up a trumpet and blazed out a salute, and a herald began the introductions. ” His Most Perfect Aspect, Father of the Paragonese, Exemplar of all things Perfect, namer of the days of the Perfect week- Perfect 1, Perfect 2, not forgetting Perfect Day 3 through 7... etc.” the full reading of the Perfect’s titles and accomplishments took over half an hour to recite, although in all fairness he had been ruler of the city for nigh on a thousand years!

Others were present in the room, and were introduced. The imposing Earth-aspected Outcaste who commanded the armies of Paragon was introduced as General Peleus Mountainshaker, the exalts of Gem had met with him before. Also familiar to the Gemites were Blacken, a sorcerer who had accompanied the Paragon army when it invaded and Demi-Prefect Shania, last seen losing to Rav in the Gem Derby!

Then it is the turn of the guests, the Roseblack starts by presenting Dragonlord Ledaal Takei, her second in command, and motions for her “guests” to introduce themselves. Bold as brass the Captain steps forwards, ”Captain Ibrahim Al’amarah of Gem, Righteous Defender of Gem and Defeater of the armies of Paragon!”

”Insolent curr!” shouts Peleus, ”I demand you retract that statement, we made a tactical withdrawl!”

”Make me.” says the Captain. Peleus looks to the Perfect, who nods in approval, and walks towards the Captain. ”I will break you, little man!” he snarls, ”You would strike an unarmed foe? I see now the only way which Paragon can win it’s battles!” the Captain retorts!

”Here then, use this, if you have the strength!” laughs the mighty Earth Aspect, tossing his huge sledgehammer towards the Captain. Essence crackles through the Captain’s body as he increases his strength, and deftly catches the massive weapon in one hand, swinging it round like a cricket bat and beckoning sarcastically towards Peleus with his free hand.

With a snarl of rage Peleus plunges his fist into the marble floor and draws from it another mighty hammer and like an avalanche charges towards the Captain! The Captain ducks his first swing, but, unused to the weapon, his return blow is batted aside. Peleus then raises both arms high as he settles into a wide-based stance and channels Earth essence through his form. ”Jade Mountain Form!” he bellows as the marble begins to cover his form, raising him to over 8 feet in height! The Captain, thinking to take advantage of this opening, launches himself through Peleus’ legs, anima blazing as he invokes his combo, smashing his borrowed weapon against his foe once, twice! Thrice! Each blow bounces from the marble armoured form sending mere chips flying through the air. Looking down Peleus grins, ”Gotcha!” and grabs the Captain, twisting him round and pulling the haft of his sledge across his chest!

”Tap out, and admit Paragon’s army is the mightiest in the South, and I will let you live.” he whispers to the Captain. Struggling against Peleus is like trying to resist a rockslide, but the defiant Solar merely spits, and then cries out in pain as his ribcage is crushed mercilessly! (32 dice of bashing damage, resulting in 12 health levels :eek:)

The Roseblack protests loudly at this display, for if the Captain dies then her oath is broken! ”Most honoured Perfect, call off your man, the point is proven!”

Laughing the Perfect relents, ”Peleus, my favoured son, release him so that he may remember well our mercy.”, and the Captain falls unconscious to the floor while Brand and Rav rush over to administer emergency treatment (pouring booze directly into the wounds!).

An hour later, after the debris has been cleared up and the Captain bandaged more than Mr Bump dinner is finally served. The strange table is arrayed with the finest Paragonese cuisine, bright orange carrot puree (Soylent Orange is mimes!), lurid green apple sauce and murky brown chocolate mouse, err, mousse. The Perfect never leaves his throne, content to dine more than 20ft above his guests.

”So, General Tepet, I wonder if you would be so kind as to tell me why you have suspended the conquest of Gem and brought my army home?” he asks, nonchalantly

”Well my lord Perfect, my orders were very clear in this respect, and seeing as thought the Anathema of Gem surrendered to my custody that part of my mission was accomplished. Nothing more would have been achieved by invading the city.”, she replies, diplomatically.

”I must protest! The larceny, banditry and robber barons of Gem imperil all the South with their wicked and anarchic ways. We must take this opportunity to crush them!”, the Perfect’s voice raises noticeably, no-one seems to be eating now.

”By the power invested in me by the Deliberative of the Realm, I must forbid any further Paragonese aggression towards the city of Gem. This is the will of the Scarlet Empire.”

This provokes an even greater reaction, the Perfect stands from his throne, spitting his words out, ”YOU WOULD FORBID ME! IMPUDENT TERRESTRIAL WHELP! How dare you, a child of 40 winters should not dare to forbid an immortal such as me!”

”You forget yourself Perfect, you are a sworn vassal to the Scarlet Empress, and to the Realm!”

”The Scarlet Empress was perhaps my equal, two immortals who have lived through an entire Age! Always she was lording over me, calling me inferior, just because she recovered her First Age trophy was more potent than mine. Well, no more, she’s gone, and I am inferior to nobody!”

The Roseblack rises to her feet, hand on daiklave, “That’s dangerous talk, Perfect”, however her words go unheard as the Perfect’s evil villain monologue continues!

”Yes, I’ll show them! I’ll show them all! Now is the time for the Perfect might of Paragon to reveal itself. With my new ally, the First and Forsaken Lion, I shall rule the entire South, and then, the whole of Creation will kneel before me and swear to obedience to me! You will all kneel before me and swear the Oath!”

The doors to the chamber burst open with a crash, armed and armoured soldiers pouring in, led by Meticulous Owl, a thin, pale man dressed in black, with the iron fist and chain insignia of the First and Forsaken Lion!

”Great, more bloody deathknights…” mutter the city watch, the Captain, Brand and Rav all spring out of their chairs, launching themselves towards the banners hanging from the walls! Brand is already burning with essence, invoking the full amount of Infinite Melee Mastery, which makes him a target, ”Kneel before me impudent dog!” shrieks the Perfect, raising his staff and trying to force the solar down with telekinetic power. Thankfully his aim is a bit off, and Brand’s now empty chair is squashed flat by an invisible fist!

Shizu vaults over the table to intercept Shania, who has retrieved her Serpent Sting Staff from Elsewhere and is whipping it about, Snake Style! The nimble night caste dodges her swings, scornfully saying ”Haven’t I seen you somewhere before? Oh yes, losing races!”. Ignoring the Demi-Prefect for she heads to a different target – Blacken. The sorcerer stands in the corner of the room tending his brazier, essence flashes between his hands as he incants the beginnings of a spell!

The Roseblack and Takei both draw their jade daiklaves and rush Peleus Mountainshaker, who again has taken on Jade Mountain Form and is nigh on impervious to harm! Meanwhile, Rav, the Captain and Brand have cut free three of the massive banners, taking the flag poles as improvised staves, and letting the cloth drop to the floor, entangling the onrushing soldiers! Meticulous Owl smirks, and with a languid wave of his arm throws a bolt of necrotic essence towards Rav, but his smirk fades as somehow Rav twists around the bolt, fixing him with a predator’s stare!

Shizu points at her target, Brand’s advice echoing in her head Get the sorcerer first!. Blacken is struggling to contain the power he has summoned, all his concentration going into his spell, which is unfortunate for him as Shizu’s fully loaded firewand drops into her hand from Elsewhere, is charged up with righteous Solar essence, and fires a ravening fireball into his face! His spell implodes soundlessly as his very skin is set on fire! Shizu’s celebrations are short lived however, as Shania whips round her orichalcum serpent string staff and nearly takes off her head!

The Captain elbow-drops from the wall, smashing into the entangled soldiers, sending bodies flying! He may still be wounded from his altercation with Peleus, but he’s never out of the fight! Brand descends more gracefully, hooking a sword from the belt of a soldier, and then monkey-leaping back across the room towards Shania and Shizu!

Meanwhile, Meticulous Owl is very surprised when, without even having time to lower his arm from his failed attempt to blast Rav, he is repeatedly clubbed about the head by a *very* irate Eaglewarrior Lunar. Moving almost too fast to follow Ravitsu nearly runs him through with the flagpole! He doesn’t get to add to his deathknight tally, as Owl is still in the fight thanks to his zombie-like flesh (but only just!)!

Brand reaches the furious melee between night castes, for Shania’s caste mark has started to show on her brow, and swings at Shania, essence trailing in the wake of his swing! Shania parries furiously, her orichalcum staff intercepting the mortal blade easily. Shania focuses intently for a moment, “Striking Serpent Speed!” she shouts as essence coruscates through her anima, but the Sun’s favour is not with her today as her charm provides only 1 attack! She swings for Shizu anyway, who leaps high over her blow and fires a sling stone back. Shania parries easily, and the standoff continues.

Meanwhile the Perfect is cackling maniacally on his throne, sending telekinetic bursts at anyone who catches his eye! ”HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME! I’VE LIVED FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!!”

”So that’s why you’re batshit insane!” retort the Gem City Watch!


to be continued….


Return to SJE

Please Add Comments Here