Grandmasta/PDOBPlotConversation

Dan: Dude.
Dan: You and me.
Dan: Right now.
Dan: The "kitchen sink" scenario.
Dan: A renegade Abyssal, formed Raksha, and Mountain Folk sidekick are easy enough to put together.
Dan: o_o()
Dan: *realizes that "serving an Exalt" could easily include working for an Abyssal or Infernal*
Spoony: Abyssal-Solar-Lunar Love Triangle.
Spoony: From the First Age.
Dan: @_@
Spoony: :-)
Dan: What's the Big Threat?
Dan: Hm.
Dan: Maybe it nuked Nexus.
Spoony: Eye of Autochthon?
Dan: Thus depriving the domesticated Raksha of his home, along with ... Joe Dragon King, his unwitting next-door neighbor.
Dan: Who formed a bizarre companionship escaping.
Dan: Who's wielding the Eye?
Spoony: a disgruntled Little God?
Dan: ~_~
Spoony: who decided he wants to be a Big God
Dan: I love it.
Dan: Umm....
Dan: Toss in an escaped demon of the first circle that's really one of the Exalted's love child (revelation for mid- to end-game)...
Spoony: adding to the crisis of the Celestial Love Triangle when two of the three realize "they" were cheated on? :-)
Dan: *grins broadly*
Dan: ...and let's not get into the details of the Little God's God-blooded flunkie...
Dan: ^_~
Dan: Meanwhile, an Alchemical strike force is the vanguard of the Locust Crusade...
Dan: ...when Autochthon decides to wake up and detaches from Creation, stranding them?
Spoony: simultaneously, the Abyssal is summoned to Gem by the First and Forsaken Lion
Dan: Dude!
Dan: I keep forgetting about him!
Dan: The only Deathlord that would happily team up with a bunch of Certified Badasses(tm)
Spoony: :-D
Dan: Did you ever play FF7?
Spoony: perhaps Abyssal talks rest of The Team into helping him out with the Locust Crusade
Spoony: they pick up an errant Alchemical as an ally
Dan: With no idea what he really is? ^_^
Spoony: and then F&FL mentions to them something about some crazy god up in Nexus
Dan: "Hey, you seem lost. Need help?"
Spoony: Yes!
Dan: "Uh, yeah. I think I made a wrong turn at Chiarascuro."
Dan: They bond on the road.
Spoony: who got a hold of some kind of crazy-powerful 1st Age Artifact
Dan: *was reading a video-game-cliches-in-RPGs thread*
Spoony: which is later revealed to be ... dun dun dun! The Eye of Autochton
Dan: No, wait!
Dan: First they have to get to Gem, where they find the Locust Crusade
Dan: There's angst!
Spoony: ooooh, angst
Dan: The Alchemical realizes his new friends want to fight off his people!
Dan: And then...
Dan: *dramatic pause*
Spoony: what side will he choose?!
Dan: The Locust Crusade gets nuked!
Spoony: ROFL
Spoony: YES
Spoony: by daddy's own eyeball
Dan: Cue boss fight
Dan: Mmm, recurring bosses.
Dan: Kefka was the man.
Spoony: who's the boss?
Dan: Mmm.... not the boss-boss
Dan: He leaves, and as the party tries to follow his flunky attacks them
Dan: With some other flunkies
Dan: Little-er Gods
Dan: Toss in some Principle of Motion to piss off Jason
Dan: Then use that handy-dandy charm to zap home once he's down to a few health levels
Spoony: and the assembled badasses fight off the mid-boss to find themselves amidst the ruins of Gem, unfortunately levelled as a side effect of the Locust Crusade getting bamf'd. :-)
Dan: Yes!
Spoony: Sidereal appears, tearing his hair out
Spoony: possibly to enlist their aid in the task that they already decided they were going to do anyway?
Dan: "My boss sent me to get him some coffee from Nexus, and when I got back... Argh! He's GONE!" T_T
Dan: "We were going to check out the situation in Gem, and then see if we could enlist the aid of the Lunars against them. He suggested... "
Spoony: what was the position of the little god in the celestial bureaucracy?
Spoony: mail boy?
Dan: Nah, something more laborious and less thankful
Spoony: I think we need to give him something extravegant to do with the Eye.
Dan: Duh!
Spoony: something that involves taking over Creation, or at least, certain parts of it
Spoony: perhaps as a basis for staging a coup on Yu Shan
Dan: He can't be a Celestial Incarna unless there's a new heavenly body to Incarnate
Spoony: in hopes of taking the Pleasure Dome
Spoony: O_O
Dan: Needless to say, he was addicted to dreamstones in Yu-Shan.
Spoony: but of course
Dan: Ah!
Dan: He was a mail boy for the Bureau of Destiny!
Dan: He, by chance, saw a report to Ketchup Carjack (damn translations) about the location of the Eye
Spoony: back when Bagrash Kol was playing with it, no less
Dan: I forget. Who did Bagrash Kol blow up with it?
Dan: The Apheliotropes?
Dan: Among others?
Spoony: I don't recall precisely
Dan: He was the one in the North, ja?
Spoony: ja
Dan: *nods*
Spoony: built himself a flying city, went on a conquest spree, blah blah blah
Dan: Yadda yadda
Spoony: shot down by realm defense grid like a bitch
Spoony: hmm
Dan: On the way to [X Lunar], the PCs encounter a wacky old man.
Spoony: the raksha may be resistant to going on the Eye quest
Dan: He gives them a pillow.
Dan: Why?
Spoony: as the Eye of Autochthon kills Fair Folk in minutes just by being nearby
Spoony: within a league, actually
Dan: Ah.
Dan: Well.
Dan: He's obviously going to gain super-badass powers in the endgame.
Dan: And then fall to his knees, unable to go on.
Dan: Ask the other party members to avenge his... idunno, his doilie collection.
Spoony: :-P
Dan: Anyway.
Dan: There's all sorts of fun plot things you can do with that.
Dan: Don't forget the corrupted party member!
Dan: And the redeemed one!
Dan: Hmm.
Dan: It occurs to me the party members should be gained in order of relative power...
Spoony: *reading up on the Eye*
Spoony: it rearranges Essence
Dan: Since, of course, this is all structured along the lines of a console RPG.
Spoony: wiping out the Locust Crusade would probably involve catastrophically detonating all the manses/demenses in the area
Spoony: ...which is pretty cool
Dan: Yes!
Dan: Mmm, that's a great image.
Dan: Ground shakes.
Dan: Glass shatters.
Dan: The caps of the manses blow off like the containment lid at Chernobyl.
Spoony: And then we get an Akira Effect?
Spoony: :-)
Spoony: or a ton of small ones
Dan: Mmm...
Dan: I know!
Dan: The Alchemicals' modular charms go haywire! XD
Spoony: *laughs*
Dan: In addition to crap exploding everywhere, obviously.
Dan: Rather than the Akira effect, I like the pillars of blazing Essence (color-coded for Aspect, obviously) bursting out of the manses, one by one
Spoony: oooh
Dan: And the BIG manses just exploding
Spoony: like a massive volcanic effect
Dan: Yeah!
Spoony: which is especially funny
Spoony: since it's gem
Dan: *dies laughing*
Dan: I forgot about that little detail. :-)
Spoony: I'm actually picturing this like a console video game now. o_o
Dan: YES!
Spoony: the destruction of Gem just played out in cutscene in my head
Spoony: we see the party running towards the city. camera around foot level facing the front of the party as they all skid to a halt, looking up at the city
Spoony: letterbox
Spoony: various shots of manses blowing their top
Dan: Ooooh, better yet they're going to a manse.
Dan: Being arrested by Alchemicals or somesuch.
Spoony: wait, wait
Spoony: they're not looking at the manses exploding
Dan: ?!
Spoony: they're looking at the LOCUST CRUSADE marching out into the city
Dan: Ah, that works.
Spoony: ...THEN the manses start blowing
Spoony: ^_^
Dan: There's a shaking, and a noise...
Dan: ...they look around to see a pillar of light
Dan: And then a manse RIGHT BY THEM explodes, and they leap out of the way of the flying debris
Dan: Then we see manses going off like firecrackers into the center of the city...
Spoony: this cutscene is rendered in-engine in my head, by the way.
Spoony: complete with jaggies
Dan: ...the streams slowly bend away from the vertical, in towards each other... and then cross
Dan: Boom.
Spoony: ^_^
Spoony: cataclysmic explosion followed by fade to black>
Spoony: ?
Spoony: or cut to black
Spoony: and then everyone wakes up surrounded by ruins
Dan: The beams form a wireframe dome, which is annihilated in the blink of an eye, Akira-style
Spoony: which probably extend a few dozen miles in every direction
Dan: Fade to black. ^_^
Spoony: awesome. ^_^
Spoony: people in Nexus don't see the blast, but they do hear a queer rumbling noise for a moment one day
Spoony: and are generally confused as a fine layer of ash settles around the city
Dan: in NEXUS?!
Dan: Am I just totally forgetting where Gem is?
Spoony: nope!
Spoony: :-D
Dan: @_@
Spoony: I think an entire city detonating is enough to hurl some dust a few thousand miles. ^_^
Dan: Trrruuuue
Dan: AWESOME!
Dan: My shuffle just pulled up the X-Laws theme from Shaman King. ^_^
Spoony: visiting Sidereal is made most obvious first of all by being the only clean being in the South
Spoony: :-)
Dan: He teleports in with a steaming cup of coffee, looking very confused.
Spoony: X-D
Dan: Meanwhile...
Dan: Above the inner sea.
Spoony: (I'm thinking we have a New Year's Eve chronicle...)
Dan: On the command deck of what looks like a steamship.
Dan: Stumpy man in pleather: "Something's going on south, sir... something big... and it's headed this way!"
Spoony: cue tidal wave?
Dan: Captain, a Dynast: "What?! Clarify, engineer!"
Dan: Exterior of airship:
Dan: Tidal wave and shockwave of dust and debris thrown over a thousand miles
Dan: Airship is hit, tumbles gravelessly. "Sir, we've got dust filling the turbines! We need to ground it!"
Dan: Airship smashes into roiling water.
Dan: End cutscene
Spoony: :-D
Dan: :-D
Spoony: brilliant
Dan: Side-story with the Dynast and Jadeborn?
Dan: Or too soon for that?
Spoony: too soon
Spoony: we just got the Sidereal in there
Dan: Maybe shift the Sidereal's entrance after the airship cutscene...
Spoony: Hell
Dan: That's the only way I could think to introduce a Mountain Folk
Spoony: slap the airship cutscene directly on the end of Gem blowing up
Spoony: although I guess it would have to be anyway
Dan: Oooh, while we're at it...
Dan: Cut rapidly between a few different shots after the initial manse burst
Dan: Airship comman deck, shot of airship coasting over the sea.
Spoony: People all over creation looking south and going "What the hell was that?"
Dan: Shot of the Council of Entities discussing something unimportant.
Spoony: DUDE
Spoony: WE ARE STUNTING THE DESTRUCTION OF GEM
Dan: The Emissary is suddenly distracted and looks southwest
Dan: YES!
Spoony: *dies laughing*

...Back toGrandmasta/PleasureDomeOrBust

Comments

ROTFLMAO!!!!!
This is....The funniest thing ever!!!!!!!
--BrilliantRain

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