EndlessChase/HD2.1.04
Hidden Diary Entries For 02.01.04
Maylin has finally crossed a line that I can not forgive her for breaching. She left our group again. I do not know for how long, nor do I care, nor does this even bother me in itself. It is the fact that she left us while we were sleeping, and left us in the care of a man-thing that we barely know, who is himself one of the Wyldlings.
I know that Foam has done nothing to earn my distrust, but neither has he done anything to earn it. Every other experience with someone of his kind that I can recall has not gone well. Perhaps he will be the one to change my view, but before that I must see him risk himself for one of us. That is what trust is. Trust is knowing that a person would risk themselves to help you. Trust is knowing that they will not do anything to put you at risk.
Maylin has lost my trust. This, I am afraid, is going to cause no end of trouble for her. I will not risk myself for her. I will not give her my food. I will not allow her to stand watch at night alone. I cannot. She has acted against us, and as such she is a liability.
All I can say is that she had better re-evaluate her situation. She will quickly be put down if she does anything further to endanger us again. I’m not sure about her, but Alaethis had said that Ashraiel, her previous incarnation, was a monster. If she shows the same I will be forced to give her shard a chance to find another host that won’t be polluted so easily.
I should put this away now. None of the others think I have this, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they though that I couldn’t write. More will come soon. I’m afraid that I must get the things on my mind about Ruby out very soon.
I can’t sleep. I’m tired, true, but there’s no one else that’s up that can take watch. I’m tired a lot, really. I take too many watches, and I let the others sleep more than I do. It catches up with me for a while, but Now that the others are all asleep (or missing), I can catch up on my writing a little bit.
Onyx woke up a little while ago. Zen was asleep, and I really didn’t want her to get woken. She was pretty messed up when she fell asleep. Anyway, Onyx was pretty quiet once I was holding her. I think she was hungry, when she made her hands turn into snakes this time they all went and started nibbling on my finger tips. It was pretty cute, really. I’m glad she did it too, it means that whatever hold the words MAylin said to her might be slipping a little bit.
Onyx and Ember are both beautiful. Ember definitely takes after her mother. She seems to be a mischievous little girl. Onyx is taking after her mother too; she seems to keep prying into everything. She’s a lot brighter than she looks too. I’m not sure if those black eyes see more than ours do, or if she’s just way ahead of her time.
I really wish I knew where I sat with them. Zen made it hard, keeping them away from me for all that time. Both of the girls are calling the mothers “mama” now. I haven’t heard either of them say anything to me.
Either way, whether I’m going to be part of their lives or not, I still feel like I owe them something. Maybe some day I’ll figure out something to do for them. For now I’ll just try and do what I can to keep them safe.
