BoyBandsDramatisPersonae/AInterview

An Interview with Asaimizu

And now, an interview with... Asaimizu.

Interviewer: Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with me.

Asaimizu: Oh, it's my pleasure.

I: So, who are your biggest influences?

A: What?

I: Your influences.

A: No, I feel fine. I'm normally this pale but thanks for asking, though.

I: Uh, right.

A: I haven't had influence since I was 10. I was puking for days. I lost a lot of weight that way, and was able to fit into smaller robes prior to the funeral of Archpriest Serid's firstborn child. I know, I know, who's worried about weight when there's money to be made, but even back then it felt good to go from a size 10 to a size 8 in Boys' Regular.

I: Uh...yeah. That's influenza, not influence.

A: So, my influenza isn't groups like Grelm's Chanteuses and singers like Thousand-Throated Bird of The East?

I: No.

A: And I guess that influenza also doesn't deal with being inspired by the Sijan Funerist Councillor's Select Repertory Dance Troupe or --

I: No, it's an illness! Now, is it true that you were trained by the Glorious Gate troupe in dance and by the --

A: Does it have anything to do with the tailors who sew my clothing?

I: NO! IT'S A FUCKING MINOR ILLNESS!

A: You shouldn't swear. It's not polite and causes you to die a little. They don't call them curse words for nothing you know.

I: *clearly agitated* Okay, we're on the subject of who trained you.

A: Sure. The Glorious Gate troupe taught me both dance and dirge-singing, and requiem-chanting and elegiac poetry was taught to me by Fenzu of the Unbroken Chain. Fenzu's daughter was impressed enough by me that she took me for a lover for a brief time. That was three years ago.

I: And how old are you now?

A: *smiling brightly* Fifteen.

I: *looking worried* And she's...

A: I'm not sure. She's a child of Fenzu and his wife the Lady of Tears, a goddess of mourning. She said something about remembering the Seventh Legion's defense of Sijanese neutrality, and that was at least two centuries ago.

I: *goes pale*...

A: What?

I: ... uhm.

A: My troupe got an exclusive performance contract for Fenzu's funeral out of it. I think that was worth it.

I: *mumbling* Ew ew ew eww...

A: What was that?

I: Oh, nothing! So... are you currently involved with anyone? Anyone in the band or the staff?

A: Oh goodness no! They're cute, but not my type. I like them with a bit more experience, you know.

I: I see...

A: Like you, Mr. Interviewer... you're experienced, aren't you?

I: Huh???

A: At least experienced enough to know that this will generate more sales for your lousy little tabloid than your previous stories...

I: I... uh...

A: Come on, now. We need the publicity, you need the circulation. In more ways than one. *writhes sensuously out of his chair, starts dancing slowly*

I: Uhm. Sure!

A: And you want to make sure that WA HA HA gets first mention of all the groups in this contest, right? *evil grin*

I: Yeah... I... uh... oh, my... Interview, uhm... over?

A: Oh, it's just begun.

(Three hours later)

I: Aguh.

A: No, it's Asaimizu.

I: Uwah?

A: No, Asaimizu.

I: Aguh!

A: Looking back, maybe you weren't speaking figuratively when you said "Holy gods of Yu-Shan, we're about to hit that wall!" Well, I suppose saying "I'm sorry" won't unbreak your jaw will it? I'd... better go now.

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Moved to its own page. -- Toph