Difference between revisions of "TheNexusProject/MellekarEasternKitchenGod"

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Mellekar, Eastern God of the Kitchen

by ThatWhichMoves

"It's outrageous! He... here?! Blasphemy! Blasphemy of the highest order!"
- Random lesser god of decline.

"....an' 'e jus' comes up, luggin' pots an' pans an' all sorts o' weird stuff. So I asks 'im what 'e's doin' an' 'e gives me 'is 'ere glare like nothin' I t'ain't never seen a'fore in my life! An' 'en... "
- Drunkard outside of Firewander's Rusty Knife

The Eastern God of the Kitchen is, ironically enough, a terrible cook. Why, then, he carries cooking utensils of all sorts is beyond all knowledge. It might say something about him to mention he also carries the kitchen sink just for the sake of doing so.

A terrible god whose only redeeming function is the equivalent of the patron saint of food poisoning, he is rather short and squat, about 2 and a half feet tall with a perfectly shaved head. The sack behind him carries all manner of kitchen appliances, for he is loathe to stay in one place for too long. His eyes are coal black, but light up like live embers when he finds for himself a suitable temporary dwelling. His clothing is an apron over top of a dish towel which covers his entire body. His weapon is an orichalcum spatula, and his face can scare off the most hardened warriors. Overall, he's ugly and has barely held to his post for the time he has owned it.

Lately he's been seen around Drunken Wind Street, leading many to believe he's going to retire from godhood. However, noone wants this to happen, because his replacement would be the LITERAL god of Food Poisoning: Plytoxo. Thus, many talks have begun in many parts of the world over many things, and Mellekar may be in trouble soon.

Rumours

• He is, overall, a wonderful person who is very nice to talk to and will point you in the right direction no matter what.
• He's being bribed by Plytoxo to give up his hold as the Eastern Kitchen God.
• He is considering retirement.
• He once beat down a legion of Anathema with only his spatula and a steak knife.

Secrets

• He is indeed considering retirement, because of his daughter's absence making him "lose" what talent he "had." (Really, none. It was all her.)
• He has only ever fought once, and that was with a child who stole his spatula. He won but took days to recover.
• He's a coward, and a very rude and very stupid one at that.
• He has a daughter, Ginger Torch, who owns a candy shop, the Twisted Cane. It turns out she's a great cook -- not taking after her father -- and was the only reason he HAD kept his position. She does not want to go back to help him out; feeling no pity and instead concentrating on making her candy.

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