Latest revision as of 16:26, 8 June 2010

Notes on CTS Part 1

This is just copied from my notebook. It starts with the transition between the first and second scenes (not counting the prologue -- I actually wrote that last), since that's where I got really stuck. Note: I have no idea why I decided to abbreviate Mahi-Sura's name "MH" instead of "MS."

_Ikselam

• back to story.
• to WBM.

- Stuff describing Scavenger's Rise.

- Jasper is coming here for info; this is what he usually does. It's what most scavengers usually do.
He talks to:

a bartender

a teamster

a fellow scavvie

He sees Dellano ride in with his posse. Through mischance, he glimpses one of the artifacts they've recovered. It's his! He rashly accosts Dellano, who tells him off and proceeds up the hill to sell off his stuff, leaving J. standing in the dust.

Jasper bursts into Mahi's shop. It is a small shop, with a variety of dried herbs, roots, and suchlike hanging from the low rafters. Mahi is preparing a ginseng root when he arrives.

J. explains what he saw, and his enthusiasm almost wins Mahi over. Then her common sense kicks in, and she sends him on his way.

key things ∈ conv.

M&J have a past relationship.

M saved J's life

J has been chasing rainbows for years

J has been on other failed expeditions

M cares about him, but is also frustrated by his obsessiveness

M says something that hurts J's feelings. After he leaves, she looks like she might be reconsidering.

J. blows all his money on supplies, and sets off after Dellano. He shortly catches up with Mahi, who has decided to help him out, against her better judgment.

How to segue into scene w/ D? Right now, I'm frustrated -- I keep on trying to do something with Jasper talking to a bartender, getting gossip about various scavvies, and it just isn't working. Not only is it a tired cliché, I can't figure a way to get him out of the frigging bar and into position to meet D.

New plan: have J. enter Scavenger's Rise. He sees a crowd -- I can cobble together a segue to this from my existing description of the place, I think; just talk about its inhabitants, then note that most of them are gathered at so-and-so place. J. gets the scoop from one of the crowd, pushes his way to the front. We get a description of D.
....
The artifact is revealed. D uses his DB powers to prevent a riot? J is stunned by item's appearance. Has words with D after crowd disperses. D references J's less-than-glorious past (we find out he's an ex-SL, has a habit of squandering $$, &c.).

J wants to know where item came from. D insinuates that J is a claim-jumper, and runs him off. --- J offers to hire on to his crew? Considers using Whammy but can't, since he's used up most of his personal motes & there are lots of witnesses around?
Scene ends.

Need opener for J + MH scene. I have a strong mental image, but I need to refine it -- I've gotten into the habit of thinking very visually lately, and it's hurting my ability to describe with words.

I think I will keep POV following J, just for consistency's sake... but, might alsowant to shift focus to Mahi; she is a main character. Okay. Open with her in the shop. She's preparing a ginseng root. The bell on the door rings. J comes in. They talk.
Key considerations:

J is excited

MH is reserved

info: MH saved J's life

info: they used to scav together, never very successfully

At some point in the conversation, I can sneak in descriptions of both characters' eyes. J's are blue, MH's are brown. She kohls them, like an Egyptian. Her hair is black and wavy. Her tell is a silvery diamond pattern on her back. In human form, the markings extend to her forehead. She wears earrings made from rattlesnake rattles.

The conversation ends when J pushes too hard, and MH snaps at him. Poor, poor J slinks off. MH does or says something which casts doubt on her conviction in this matter.
Scene ends.

J finishes haggling for the last bits of equipment he needs (and pays with his last dinars). He saddles up and rides out to follow D. He maybe thinks about MH. In any case, he runs into her soon enough, probably just as he's losing D's trail (D is using one of the Survival Charms) and/or getting lost himself (latter probably doesn't make much sense, since this isn't a really tough area to navigate and J has spent time wandering around it for a living).
--- J probably realizes that D is using magic to cover his trail. Maybe he prays for divine intervention!

Dream:

Z - a woman with refractive hair. "coruscant"
T - a woman who hides the lower half of her face with a scarf
N - a ranger with an animal companion (wolf? fox? spider?)
D - a dervish with a long white beard

Dream ideas:

Needs to be something which we can reasonably believe makes J think that the place in which it occurs holds Answers.

Some kind of initiation rite?

Just fragmented images of different people?

Need to show his spear.

• back to story.
• to WBM.