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[My players provided me this - Xyph]

Excerpts from the Alimentary Saucebook

By Madame Croquet and the Lizarde de Flambe

Gaia is the greatest of all gods. Even the Immaculate Order venerates her as the source of all life. She commands the five basic sources of sustenance found in Creation: Beer, Cheese, Meat, Candy and Waffle. Each of these Aliments expresses itself through Gaia’s servants, the Alimentary Exalted. Gaia is compassionate and can be quite persuasive. During the war against the Primordals, Gaia persuaded the other gods not to murder the surrendered Primordials. (Some historians consider the gods’ decision to spare their defeated foes was a gross error, terming this incident the Alimentary Mistake). Despite her compassion for Creation, she is a distant deity, and interacts only through her Exalted servants.

First in Gaia’s exalted larder are the Alimentals of Waffle. Scholars of this expression of Exalted power sometimes call this Aliment Kabohidrates (Kar-bow-hi-drah-tays) leading to their epithet, the Kabohs. Those exalted into this enigmatic Aliment are known as weighty orators, famous for both the power and quantity of their words and the circumference of their girdles. The primal energy of Waffle aids the Kabohs greatly both in debate and in self protection through such Charms as Scathing Schoolyard Sarcasm Strike and Maple and Chocolate Protection. The devastating Aitkens Terminating Consecration is particularly feared. As the Kabohs become more and more loaded with Gaia’s Alimental power their figure swells to contain its solid potency.

The Cheese Alimentals are the most contentious of Gaia’s children. Also known as the Odours, some claim they are behind every rock, and others claim they do not exist at all! Those who meet them have little doubt. As their power increases their anima displays itself as a rich odour of cheese: beginning as a gentle waft of the mildest cheddar but rising to the oppressive stench of stilton left in the hot desert sun. This potent anima exudes from the Odours as they display Charms such as Wad Blowing Meditation, Mould Gathering Technique and the deadly Stilton Cutting Method.

The members of the Meat Aliment are not known for their intelligence. It seems that this attribute grows weaker as their power increases; the Grinder becoming dim-witted and rancid-smelling over years of service to Gaia. Many consider them ham-fisted, and they certainly are the most aggressive of all Alimentals, with the possible exception of a powerful Beer Alimental, liking nothing better than to mince an enemy. Exceptional martial artists, they can often break an opponent down with their vicious chops. A typical Grinder will drop into a Swinging Meat Stance, lull his foe with Soothing Precipitation of Meat Sweat before finishing him off with a Devastating Salami Thrust.

A perfect compliment to the Grinders, the Beer Alimentals begin as charismatic socialites but become boisterous warriors as the power of the Aliment flows through their veins. Arguments rage as to the power wielded by these Exalts, known variously as Louts or Schooners. While they are known to use Charms such as Drunken Master Style, Illegal School Blow and Fshugened Inreeshing Shtrenshishize, these powers seem to have little demonstrable effect. This obviously enrages the Louts as they repeated expend their essence to no avail, eventually rendering them furious and hyper-aggressive, but, in terms of actual combat skill, rather pint-size. Why the Schooners use their Charms at all is a mystery; without their Alimentally-induced “Charms”, they are quite charismatic and skilled in social situations.

The final course in Gaia’s feast is the Candy Aliment. Called Deserters by their rivals, due to First Age incident in which a force of Candy Exalts fled a small number of Dragon-Blooded. They unsuccessfully attempted to fudge reports of the battle by claiming there were hundreds and thousands. Despite this reputation for jelly-like cowardice, they have some sweeet powers, including Unstoppable Sugar Rush and Hypoglycaemia Inducing Prana and are quite capable of creaming many opponents. Their anima banner is unique among Exalted; it operates upon those who observe the Deserter expending essence, producing a sticky residue over their entire body and anything they carry.

The Alimentary Exalted are spread throughout Creation enacting Gaia’s will, be it savoury or unsavoury.