The First Season

From Exalted - Unofficial Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

The First Season

From Egryst Lozaras' captain's log :


Descending Earth of RY 770


The Nubeus finally reached Nathir after we had some trouble with Great Forks raiders. I did a fantastic job at throwing my ship's anchor at their ugly faces, tearing their ship like paper. I laughed loudly and I jumped on the deck, flaring with all my power, terrorizing all of them fools. Man was their booty cheap, I thought that Eastern raiders like them would make quite a confortable living from raiding on Guild caravans, but I was proven wrong with those amateurs. Anyway, I finished off the last one of them by choking him with the biggest sail on their ship. Before he died, he apologied and with his last breath, saying he didn't believe we were REALLY the Nubeus. Fool. He got his butt kicked good for it and it was fun. I rule.

So anyway, we got to the port around 11 this morning. It's a good thing because all the men could take a break and do something with plenty of time ahead of 'em. For myself, I went to look around if there were any interesting contracts. After a while I got quite bored, not even a bloody Outcast to catch. I'm getting tired to travel with only humans, I wish I'd have some folks like me to travel with. As I thought this, I saw a great gathering of Dynasts and Realm soldiers. I figured out they'd probably be after me since almost everyone knows where Egryst Lozaras was last seen, and where he'd might be heading. Great ! Finally some Exalts to fight with, and at least they didn't look like push-overs nor wimps. They looked like they had seen a good many Anathema and they looked like they meant business. At last some excitement ! I thought it was some weird auspicious clue that something was going to happen that day. Something quite auspicious indeed happened, and it was the greatest.

As I went to kick some ass in Nathir, as I always do when I get in a city I've never been to, I asked Dumbur, my First Man, to look over the boys and to notify me if there was something interesting coming our way. Around dinner time, Dumbur came to see me, almost pissing himself of excitement. At least, that's the impression I had. He said Shades of Moving Waters, a notorious Eclipse Caste merchant whom I wanted to meet since a long time, was here and that he was longing for a means of transportation to leave Nathir. I thought : "Alright ! Even a guy like him is here while the Wyld Hunt is here also ! Somethin' definately going to happen !" I came and saw the guy, it really was him. We shook hands in a manly way and I proved him with a mighty throat sundering laughter that I was Egryst Lozaras. He nodded and took me to some tavern where he had friends waiting him there. "Some of his friends ? I hope they're not useless valets or wimpy slaves following him around like gulls around a shipwrecked's corpse". So I barged in, and I stumbled upon one of his "friends" : this big strong babe with tits as big as my chest. It sure was a nice surprise he did me ! With Mrs. Boobs were two strange pointy-eared fellows. They looked like they knew a lot of stuff about things and magical thingies, must be savants or scavangers or somethin'. One was a brown-skinned girl and the other was a tall and frail man. Apparently, they'd just have a bar brawl and got away quickly before authorities came to investigate, which was good. Since they just had barely missed the Wyld Hunt, it would be important to get these young Solars outta here before the imperials put their noses in my stuff. I'd rip of their noses and make 'em eat it. So we had a talk and I decided to get 'em on my ship, so that the Wyld Hunt would finally only search for me, instead of a group. Five Solars in a city at a same time, that's quite loud to start with. I know that cuz I experienced it plenty of times, and got away with it. I definately rule.

Since yesterday night, they sleep in what used to be the "peeping room" (that's the room where we put the babes and watched 'em taking their clothes off/doin' stuff with some of the sailors). I'd sure go and peep that babe anytime. I'm sure she'll end up loving me, sometime.

As they say : Shit happens, so when it does, you better don't give some to Egryst Lozaras.


It sure is true. And very funny.


[This was only the first section. I will had some more a bit later ! ^^]

Comments