Prax/WhiteCraneMA

White Crane Style

Also known as Northern Crane Style, this Air Aspected terrestrial martial arts style dates from the First Age where it originated under the guidance of the master swordsman Yufen Shinsa, one of Swordmaster Fuzaki’s most well known Terrestrial Students. For centuries the style formed the foundation of the Yufen Sword Academy on the Blessed Isle until the end of the Shogunate and the rise of the Scarlet Empress. At that point the remaining members of the Yufen family left the Blessed Isle refusing to acknowledge the Scarlet Empress’ right to rule.

Today, the descendents of the Yufen bloodline, the White Crane family, continue to practice their ancestral fighting art and are its most well known practitioners. However, a few rare individuals continue to practice this sword style on the Blessed Isle, keeping the memory of the Yufen Sword Academy alive mostly in secret. While not exactly outlawed, most members of polite Dynastic society frown upon any association with the “fallen” Yufen clan. White Crane Style can be practiced either unarmed, with straight swords or with slashing swords. The style can also be practiced in armor as long as it imposes a mobility penalty no greater then -1. Anything greater impedes the White Crane Stylist’s movement too much to effectively use the style’s charms.

Precision of the Striking Crane:

 

Cost: 2m; Mins: Martial Arts 2, Essence 1; Type: Supplemental

 

Keywords: Combo-Ok

 

Duration: Instant

 

Prerequisite Charms: None

 

The first thing a White Crane Stylist learns is to strike with precision and accuracy. Focusing her essence to enhance her senses the character cuts through her opponent’s defenses and strikes at exactly where her opponent is most vulnerable. Attacks enhanced with this Charm gain +2 Accuracy and inflict piercing damage.

Curve of the Crane’s Wing:

 

Cost: 2m; Mins: Martial Arts 3, Essence 2; Type: Reflexive (Step 2)

 

Keywords: Combo-Ok

 

Duration: Instant

 

Prerequisite Charms: None

 

The White Crane Stylist learns how to defend himself with such conviction that it temporarily puts his opponent off balance. When subject to a melee or martial arts attack the character may activate this Charm. If the attack is then successfully parried, his attacker suffers a -1 Penalty to his Defense Value until his next action. In addition all further attack actions the character takes that tick suffer a -2 Internal Penalty. The character's Dodge Defense Value is inapplicable against any attack that this Charm is invoked against.

Serene Blade Posture:

 

Cost: 3m; Mins: Martial Arts 3, Essence 2; Type: Simple (Speed 5, DV -1)

 

Keywords: Combo-Ok

 

Duration: Until next action

 

Prerequisite Charms: Precision of the Striking Crane, Curve of the Crane’s Wing

 

Adopting a calm and serene attitude, the White Crane Stylist strikes swiftly and a heartbeat later returns to a perfectly relaxed pose as if he never attacked in the first place. When this Charm is invoked the White Crane Stylist can perform a single martial arts attack. However, she does not have to wait until her next action for her Defense Values to refresh, instead they refresh on the following tick.

White Crane Form:

 

Cost: 6m; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 2; Type: Simple (Speed 5, DV -1)

 

Keywords: Form-type

 

Duration: One scene

 

Prerequisite Charm: Serene Blade Posture

 

The White Crane Stylist adopts a pose of seemingly relaxed calm, but in reality she is measuring and evaluating every move her opponent makes, subtly altering her stance to improve her own defenses and make the most of her opponent’s weaknesses. For the rest of the scene, anytime an opponent attacks, until his next action he suffers a minimum penalty to his Defense Values equal to (half the the White Crane Stylist’s Essence, rounded up) for the purpose of defending against the White Crane Stylist’s attacks. In addition for the rest of the scene the White Crane Stylist may reduce all Onslaught penalties by an amount equal to her Essence.

Wind Slash Technique:

 

Cost: 3m; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 2; Type: Supplemental

 

Keywords: Combo-ok

 

Duration: Instant

 

Prerequisite Charm: White Crane Form

 

Focusing essence into her blade or her hands, the White Crane Stylist slashes at the air and sends a deadly, near invisible blade of wind at her opponent. Only unarmed martial arts attacks may be supplemented using this Charm which gives the attack +2 Accuracy, a range of (the character’s Essence x 2) yards and causes it to inflict lethal damage.

Wind Cuts to the Bone:

 

Cost: 4m, 1wp; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 3; Type: Supplemental

 

Keywords: Combo-ok

 

Duration: Instant

 

Prerequisite Charm: Wind Slash Technique

 

Further refining her mastery of essence, the White Crane Stylist infuses her attack with the power to cut through an opponent’s most innate defenses, transforming the force of her blow into a cutting wind that seeps through her target’s armor and straight to his bones. Victims of this attack describe the senation as like someone driving freezing cold needles through their bones. An unarmed martial arts attack enhanced with this Charm ignores a target’s Hardness and up to (the character’s Essence x 2) points of soak.

Swift Thunder Strike:

 

Cost: 3m, 1wp; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 3; Type: Simple (Speed 3, DV -0)

 

Keywords: Combo-ok

 

Duration: Instant

 

Prerequisite Charm: White Crane Form

 

The White Crane Stylist using this charm attacks with such blinding speed that she catches her opponents off guard. When this Charm is invoked the White Crane Stylist may execute a single martial arts attack, which counts as an unexpected attack. The difficulty to perceive and react to this attack is equal to the White Crane Stylist’s Martial Arts ability.

Swift Vengeance Stance:

 

Cost: 5m, 1wp; Mins: Martial Arts 5, Essence 3; Type: Reflexive (Step 2)

 

Keywords: Combo-ok, Counterattack

 

Duration: One scene

 

Prerequisite Charm: Swift Thunder Strike

 

By making a series of quick cuts in the air, the White Crane Stylist draws lines of essence that only he can perceive. Anyone who crosses one of those lines is subject to quick and brutal retaliation for their impudence. Until the end of the scene whenever the character successfully parries a hand-to-hand attack launched against her she may immediately execute a martial arts counterattack against that opponent.

Comments

To me, this style would seem to be rather excessively powerful in the pre-form effects. The very first charm is +2 accuracy and piercing, which stacks with and is as efficient as a martial arts excellency, plus of course piercing, which is a very nice effect especially if you're already using a sword.

Following that, we have defense charms that impose penalties (harsh ones) on the attacker, a charm to allow DV to refresh almost instantly which means it would be rare for anyone to get an attack in, and then the form charm which inflicts a horrifically large penalty to opponent's DVs... and the makes their own pre-existing penalties WORSE. And, of course, the form lets stylists spend a mote to ignore some penalties against their own DV. Not that they're likely to have many, considering the previous charms. I'd say this collection of effects togeather is at least celestial around essence 3, not terrestrial at essence 1-2. Heck, that form charm is better than any other I could name right now.

Post form, it's better, but not much. The ranged attack charm is fine, but the soak-reducer is effectively a damage-increasing charm in a style that's already far too good at landing hits, AND can defend. Then there's the perfectly surprising attack, as a speed 3 no DV penalty attack... perfect effects in an MA style... a TERRESTRIAL style at that, is moderately unusual, and this one is amazingly powerful. Gets around many perfect defences, which I just don't think is appropriate for the powerlevel of terrestrial MA, let alone this one. It's also undercosted in my opinion.

The counterattack at the end doesn't seem particularly over the top though, so that's good.

Hope you find this ream of comments helpful, I've tried to provide reasoning where possible.
-- Darloth

I made a few alterations in line with your suggestions, first eliminating the Parry increase from Curve of the Crane's Wing, causing it to only inflict a Penalty upon an attacker's DV for successful parries enhanced by it. Second, I made Serene Blade Posture a Simple Charm, which better reflects the philosophy of the Style. IE, one sure, perfect cut, rather then a Flurry of blows. I modified the Form Charm, increasing the cost to assume the Form and keeping only the Penalty to DV (and reducing it to a penalty of Half-Essence rounded up) inflicted by attacking and changing it so that the Crane Stylist has improved defense against Onslaught Penalties and nothing else. Which still makes it one of the more powerful Charms, so I upped the requirement to a Martial Arts of 5 to master it. As for the surprise attack, it's not and never was a perfect effect. It just puts the burden of noticing the attack on the defender which isn't out of line for a Terrestrial Effect. I did add in a Willpower cost to the strike though. Thanks for your comments, it did help me clean some things up, especially pointing out some redundancies among the Charms.
-- Prax