SJE/Session21

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Exalted Session 21

Part 1

A quiet one this week as we only had the players of Jaq, Orchid and Brand in the house.

So, the Watch have at last returned to a besieged Gem, braving the teeth of the Paragonese army. Brand is badly, badly wounded, Jaq severely cut from a Flying Guillotine spell and Orchid out of willpower and moisturiser to boot. The Captain has rowed with Orchid and gone off to find a vat of wine to drink or drown in and Rav has slunk off to recover from his own wounds. Alana is possibly still planting thumpers to summon Shai-halud in the deep desert so her Fedaykin tiger warriors can go greet Emperor Shaddam… or maybe not….

Orchid drives the cart of Ryku up to the Palace, where she, Brand and Jaq are taken in by an anxious Great Aunt Marigold who is most concerned for their welfare. Brand is given a ‘medicinal’ (Sweet Cordial potion) and slumbers off into an opiate haze, while Aunty asks Orchid to join her and Mother Sahlak in a “traditional ritual, dear. Just us three girls to meet an old ally of ours, down in the crater dear. You’ll want to look your best for him dear… here, I’ve got a few old things that might fit”

Aunty leads Orchid to an Imelda Marcos-style wardrobe- a long room stretching to seeming infinity filled with dresses, outfits, shoes, hats, accoutrements and fashion experiments. Orchid is in fashion heaven, trying on outfit after outfit, enjoying spa bathing, massage, manicure, pedicure, hair styling, all with flunkies proffering cups of tea wherever she looks!

Sahlak has arrived and together with Aunty, they go all Trinny and Susannah on Orchids ass. Its Queer Eye for the Exalted Guy!

“No dear, try the green one again.”< “No, no Auntie, the frills make her look fat.” “They round her out, dear” “We want her looking like a woman, not a heifer though. I think the lavender dress and parasol is the way forward. Can you try that one Orchid?”

Orchid- “Aaargh!” <foot stamp> “Why are you so interested in my outfit?”

“Well dear, our friends are very conservative. Traditional you might say. And traditionally they have always dealt with 3 women. So you might want to go for a very feminine look….”

“OK, everyone out! I can do this best” Orchid, hurries everyone out, dismissing the flunkies and attendants and seats herself at the acre wide vanity dresser and looks in the huge mirror. She takes one brush of rouge and delicately dabs her face twice.

“There. Perfect”. Auntie and Sahlak are ushered back in, their eyes narrowing as they see her in the previously disparaged blue dress. But their faces soften as they take in the whole effect of the makeup, shoes and parasol- very much 100% woman and Auntie says with smile

”Very nice dear”.

So, the 73 year old Auntie Marigold nee Rankar, Mother Sahlak (a fortyish Glenn Close) and the young ‘maiden’ Floating Summer Orchid head for the back of the Palace and are lowered in a large basket down into the empty crater of the volcano. It’s cool and rocky down there, eternal shadows allowing pools of free standing water to collect, cracks rivening the rocky ground.

Auntie taps on the rocks with her walking stick and one crack widens open. Emerging from the depths of the earth, a deer like creature emerges, dressed in a natty Arabian waistcoat and bright red pantaloons, but walking on two legs.

The creature surveys the 3 women and casks of Ryku- apparently Orchids efforts to pass as a woman have paid off as he greets the “Cabal” and asks if the tribute for his master is prepared. The tribute is indeed prepared and intact, and the Kri affirms their part in upholding the Bargain. For another year, the mineral wealth of the earth will be theirs!

Spirit and ryku sink down into the crevasse which seals itself over once more. A confused Orchid asks what just happened.

”An old arrangement dear, made by my great, great, great grandmother. She helped found Gem you know… by ensuring our mines would never run out of jewels. That is what we do- we advise the men, sort out problems, and keep things running smoothly. This is who we are.”

“This is who we are” repeats Sahlak.

“This is who we are…?” says a confused Orchid.

“And now you are one of us. A lady who lunches. Who knows about the strange and unusual things and keeps Gem safe.” Says Sahlak.

“It was to be Sultry Evening Breeze, dear” says Auntie “but with her passing we needed someone quickly. Its always three women, but we knew you could do it dear. We are very grateful – you’ve saved Gem and if there is anything we can do…”

Indeed there is. Orchid, now a member of the cabal, asks that Sahlak rescind the assassination contract on Brand- he’s proven himself by recovering the ryku. Sahlak agrees and Orchid is just bursting to tell Brand the good news! No one wants to kill him!

Brand and Jaq have meanwhile decamped to the Granite Watchtower. The place is swarming with new recruits, attracted by Brands Social-Realist recruiting posters and also the Despots announcement that he would be deeply disappointed with any able-bodied man who didn’t join either the Army or the City Watch in this time of civic need. Since the Army is on the walls of Gem exchanging arrow fire with the Paragonese, a great many have opted to join the Watch, entrusted with the civil defence!

Jaq tries to organise the recruits, but is mistaken for a Paragonese infiltrator because he is still wearing the Paras uniform. One near lynching later, he returns for Brand.

Brand awakens in his office and idly drinks the water an old man passes him. His eyes clear as the medicinal starts to wear off and is shocked to find Master Ledaal Tanaka is his carer!

Tanaka tells Brand that he knows that Brand and the Captain are Demon-Anathema. But since both Brand and the Captain warned him of the Anathema Threat originally, he can come to only one conclusion. Somewhere inside them, the good men they used to be still exist- they warned him so he could free them from the demonic possession of the Anathema!

So, he is giving Brand and the Captain 24 hours to settle his affairs. Then tomorrow, the Wyld Hunt will kill the Anathema and release their souls to be re-incarnated into the grace of the Dragons!

Jaq tries to defend his colleague, and Brand argues Solars are not evil baby-eating monsters, but Tanaka tells them “that is the demon talking”. The deadline stands and Jaq too has been added to the Anathema list for consorting/identifying with them!

Much discussion is had between Brand, Jaq and Orchid on how to deal with the Wyld Hunt threat. Kill Tanaka or run seem to be the options and Brand is in no condition to run. Tanaka is especially feared as he is a master of Air Dragon style, able to throw 45 per round! Jaq might be able to take him with Cascade of Cutting Terror, but it depends who throws first…

Orchid, ever the diplomat wants to try talking first and she heads up to the Temple of 5 Harmonious Dragons to persuade the Master. Unfortunately he is not available, not even for her.

Jaq has meanwhile heard about the Hecatomb of Ahlat. Both the army of Gem and that of Paragon are going to be sacrificing cattle to the war Gawd. But since Gem is on rationing, their hecatomb has been lowered to 100 cattle. Paragon is seeking to win the favour of Ahlat for the battles ahead by sacrificing the full 1,000 cattle tonight!

So, Jaq sets out over the Wall…..

(Part 2 to follow tomorrow)


Jaq heads over the City wall. Unfortunately it appears as if his ninja suit is suffering from a stealth field failure as he’s spotted by the Gem Army as he scales down the wall. They light up the torches and ballistas and start firing arrows at him. He engages Flow Like Blood and dodges the missiles. Now he’s crossing No-Mans Land and the Paragonese Army has starts firing at the lit section of the wall. As Jaq reaches an empty trench, Paragonese catapults hit the wall, flinging dozens of men to their deaths!

Quickly he pulls a Clark Kent and dons his Paragonese uniform. Using this and a Charm, he strolls through the Paragonese camp and at last reaches the cattle pens. Thousands of cattle and horses moo and neigh in the night air. Jaq starts weakening some of the pens bindings in the direction closest to the camp. As he does so, a curious Paragonese soldier comes over

“Hail the Perfect” he says

“Er… Hail the Perfect” replies Jaq

“What you up to mate?”

“Er.. fixing the pens. Maintenance you see” (Failing a Socialise & Manip roll)

“Oh right” (Botching an Awareness & Perception roll)

“Yes, loosening these ropes actually makes the fence less rigid. Means there is some give when the cattle press against it”

“Oh.. Nice work!”  (totally missing Jaqs cowboy sabotage)- wanders off.

Jaq- “Phew”

Having weakenend the fence Jaq heads round to the rear of the massive pens. I ask him how on earth he is going to stampede 1,000 cattle with only Survival 2 and no Ride?

“Well, you know how my soulsteel gyro chakram makes that screaming sound when I throw it through the air?

“Yep”

“Well, how loud will it be when I use Cascade of Cutting Terror to duplicate it a hundred-fold!”

“Ouch!”

So, Jaq throws his Chakram, kicks in his CoCT charm and gets an amazing 18 successes! A sound like a thousand damned souls howls across the camp. A hundred phantom chakrams scythe through the cattle, 15 foot wide and 40 feet long. Bones, glood and gore splatter across the herd, spooking the cows! Like some mad, thousand headed hydra, they surge forward, through the weakened pens in a mad stampede!

Kicking in Graceful Crane Stance, Jaq runs forward and leaps on the backs of the cattle as they stampede through the camp. A third of the sleeping Paragonese are crushed in their tents by 4,000 stampeding hooves!

The great mass of cattle charges across the trenches and lines and breaks on the walls of Gem. Jaq dashes from hairy back to back until he gets to the gate and starts screaming “Sympathy” , the password for the night before. The guards argue about whether to let him in, but the usual Gemite sense of survival kicks in and they open the gates just so they can rustle some of the cows…

Mrs Ahlat is quickly summoned from the slightly anemic hecatomb she was about to perform before the assorted dignitaries of Gem. Jaq slips away into the shadows before anyone notices him…

Mrs Ahlat heads up to the gate tower battlements and commends this great sacrifice to her husband, asking him to bless the Armies of Gem in the battles to come. Then the sergeant calls out “Archers- Fire at will!”

As the arrows hiss down from the walls, the thousand cattle are slain in Ahlats name. A little kindling and greek fire over the walls and all of a sudden, the delicious smell of roasting beef wafts up the mountain. As one, the people of Gem head down, knife and fork in hand to enjoy Creations largest impromptu barbeque! Men, women, children, old and young alike partake in the great feast. Paragonese forces are in such disarray from the stampede that they don’t take advantage of the defenders opening the gates to drag in carcasses and eat away.

Meanwhile Orchid hasn’t been able to find Master Tanaka, though her meditations are interrupted when someone yells “Tell the non-vegans, its all you can eat BBQ at the city wall!” and the aspirant monks dash down in order to take their fill.

Brand limps out to see what all the fuss is about and manages to spot Auntie (and bodyguards & retinue) who had been there for the hecatomb and is now going on about “what a lovely surprise. So nice to see the boys and girls eating well”

He is allowed an audience with her and tries to beg her help with Tanaka, without ever mentioning he’s a Solar or why Tanaka wants to kill him. Auntie however is either the most innocent creature on Creation or possesses a poker face that could bluff Plentimon. She mentions that Tanaka is usually such a nice man, who’ll be around for elevensies tomorrow for tea and scones….

So, with the Paragonese suffering a serious set back, Gem enjoys the blessings of Ahlat and the largest feast in living memory. To the sounds of a city in joyous celebration and meat eating, the temple bells toll for midnight. Realm Year 768 is over. Calibration has begun…..


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