TheNexusProject/JadeCageOfWarrants
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Jade Cage of Warrants
by EJGRgunner
- "Look, just ignore it. I promised an barkeep I wouldn't damage his tavern, played some darts, missed the board once and hit the wall, and that set off chirpy hear. Honestly, it's not a big deal."
- "Birdy" Dimlantern, infamous bindle stiff.
- "No. No. Nope. Never. No. I mean it. You're not getting my hand inside of that thing. No. NO."
- Awusi Heron, the Reticent.
Standing just over one and a half feet tall, the Jade Cage of Warrants (or Jade Coop), at a glance, seems a rather unimpressive antique bird-cage. Constructed principally from a lusterless metal alloy, the Cage is inlaid with a delicate and almost imperceptible Jade filigree that suggests an Old Realm inscription. This embelishment, however, is the only interesting feature, as the Jad Cage of Warrants is squat, angular, and designed with almost no consideration for aesthitics. Indeed, countless more ornate and more decorative cages can certainly be found at Indulgent Flame's Stall or at Tshugar's Annual Junk Sale. And yet those familiar with the Cage either utterly despise or whole-heartedly treasure it.
For below the dull exterior of the Jade Cage lies a robust magical artifact, operable to both Essence-wielders and mortals alike. The mechanism for operating the Jade Cage is relatively simple: two people, wishing to enter into a contract, formally compose and sign two copies of an agreement. They then place the contracts inside the cage, as if to create a "lining" below the swing. Next, the two parties each reach through one of the two doors of the Cage and clasp each other by the hand, uttering "Before the eyes of vigilant bird. let this warrant for both deed and word."
At this point a mild blue scintillation occurs, and a handsome black Spirit-bird (somewhat resembling a parrot) appears on the swing within the Cage. Custom (and common-sense) dictate that the two signatories each take a copy of agreement and (carefully) go about their business, as they have now "sanctified" their pact. If, at any point in the future, one of the parties breaks the contract, or violates any of its conditions in any way, the Spirit-bird will immediately depart the Jade Cage of Warrants and seek out the oath-breaker. Upon arrival, the bird will rest weightlessly on the shoulder of the delinquent contractor at will sit quietly on his or her shoulder.
That is, until the guilty party attempts to enter into conversation with another person. As soon the "violator" opens his mouth, the bird begins to shriek and squawk quite loudly "OATHBREAKER!!! OATHBREAKER!!! CAAAAAW! CAAAAW!!! LIAR! CHEAT! HOOOOO! OATHBREAKER!! CAAAAW!" etc. No known method has been discovered to silence the bird, and all attempts to ward against the creature either fail outright or fail in time, as the bird will simply wait outside the ward shrieking ever louder (regardless of whether or not the guilty party is in conversation) until he is reunited with his "charge." Killing the Godling (magically or otherwise), simply results in the spirit reforming inside the nearest Jade Coop and seeking out the oathbreaker again. The only way to rid onself of the noisy pest is to destroy both original copies of the contract.
Rumours
- Doka the Unclean's shame and suicide can be traced back to an impossible promise Doka made to a Yoskanero Merchant Captain sanctified by a Jade Coop.
- Scholastic thaumaturges have discovered that, contrary to appearances, the Cages are not made of alloy or Jade. They are in fact, tangible illusions created by Fae magick.
Secret
- The Jade Cages of Warrants were actually designed by Lowanneenowra, Heavenly Lord of Southeastern Sloe-Black Cockatoos, and current resident of Drunken Wind Street. The Southeastern Sloe-Black Cockatoo is now extinct, due in part to the species' exceedingly sedentary and timid disposition, as well as Lowanneenowra's propensity for taking the hens as consorts and then promoting them to "staff positions" as Little Gods. After the Southeastern Sloe-Black Cockatoo died out, Lowanneenowra was left without a domain, but with scores of simple-minded Cockatoo-God dependants. After a few years of putting up with their incessant squawking, Lowannenowra created the Cages and reconstitued his retinue to fill them.
