Difference between revisions of "DarkheartOne/QuestionsAnswers"

Latest revision as of 06:49, 3 March 2006

Simple Questions, Exalted Answers

They are amazingly awesome beings, gifted with cool powers and loads of personal baggage. And, needless to say, they would see the world a bit differently than we would. So let's try to imagine, if only for a moment, what these mighty beings would do in seemingly-mundane situations! Suggestions, insults, comments and the like are welcome!

Note: These are probably really bad.

Simple Questions!

The lightbulb in a small room has just gone out, and it's pretty dark. What would an Exalt do?

A Solar wouldn't need a stupid lightbulb! They'd just beef up their anima and use it! They would probably also complain why there's no window, and a rather pissy Dawn would punch a hole in the wall (or just punch out the entire wall) to make one.

A Dragon-Blooded would spend vast amounts of jade to hire a crack team of lightbulb-repairmen to fix that exact same bulb, then have them replace it; odds are it will work for about a week. If the Dynast in question is from House Cynis, kinky sex (possibly involving the lightbulb) will be involved.

A Lunar would readily state that mam has grown too soft and should shy away from pointless creature comforts such as electric lights... then leave the room, grab a six-pack from the fridge and go watch rugby or some suitably violent sport on TV.

A Sidereal would have figured out that the bulb would go out months before, and would have mingled in casual society to enter in some day-long quest to purchase another one that exactly matches their anima color... which just so happens to be the same color ad the room, save for the glow-in-the-dark stars.

An Abyssal would like the darkness, for it would remind them of the emptiness that awaits all mankind in the maw of Oblivion. Then they would stub their toe on their Hot Topic coffin and quickly replace the bulb. It would be a blacklight, anyway.

An Infernal would fill the bulb with gasoline, seal it, screw it back in, then invite someone to turn it on under the premise that they want to show off their newly-redecorated room.

An Alchemical would take the bulb back with it to the Vats, and have it installed in his person. It would inexplicably shoot a beam of flesh-searing light when first activated, then work just fine afterwards.

One of the Fair Folk wouldn't really notice, since the walls of their home radiates an interesting shade of pizza-colored light in the dark, anyway. Don't ask me to explain what pizza-colored light looks like. Barring that, they'd just set up a disco ball.

An Exalt just bought The Clapper(tm)! What in the world would they be using it for?

A Solar would have it rigged to a gigantic spotlight that they'r turn on at night, projecting a shadow of their mon in the sky. Barring that, it would simply have the be the Bat-Signal.

A Dragon-Blooded would have connected it to their home entertainment system, which would be state-of-the-art, cost as much as the GDP of a small country, and stay tuned to news, stocks and C-SPAN. If the Dragon-Blooded in question were from House Cynis, it would be showing hardcore porn, and odds are kinky sex would ensue on the plush sofas (or any handy, washable surface) there.

A Lunar would have it connected to one of those George Foreman grills. Look, even the call of the wild can't top well-cooked meat.

A Sidereal would have it connected to some weird essence-channeling gizmo that would let them fiddle with street lights, either to set up meetings between fated strangers, to cause crashes just for the hell of it, or to make sure that Chejop Kejak misses his bus. Again. He hates that.

An Abyssal would have it set up to turn on his CD player, so that he doesn't have to interrupt his angsty inner dialogue just to physically get up and turn on Type O Negative to help darken the mood.

An Infernal would have it connected remotely to a neighbor's pacemaker. And they would clap. Alot.

An Alchemical would probably rig it so that they could clap on some awesome body-installed lights and do the Robot during a happening dance party in the dark. (Beeping SFX not included.)

One of the Fair Folk would have it set up to turn on a gazillion of those stupid animated singing ornament things. All at once. Usually when someone enters their house, and usually to see how long it takes before they crack. And, of course, to feast on their sweet terror-meats.

Comments And Such

[LAUGHING] --Sariel