Latest revision as of 03:46, 9 June 2010

Cut'n'Shoot, Capital of the 7th and a Half Legion

History

Not everyone rolled over and showed the Neo-Empress their belly when she proclaimed her reign. Most of those who defied her died a horrible death at the hands of Area 51, or worse, were rendered ugly and socially unacceptable and lived out their lives in misery and shame.

However, Grand Moff "Tigger" Tigranes of the Seventh Legion refused to surrender, and she possessed a substantial stock of WMU (Weapons of Mass Ugliness). Fear of being rendered a mass of acne, scars, and bad hair stayed the Neo-Empress' hand, and Tigranes gathered surviving fragments of other legions into what became known as the Seventh and a Half Legion. Being a rather literal person, when Tigranes built a fortress to serve as a base of operations, she named it 'Fortress Cut and Shoot'. (Tigranes was famed for naming her children 'First Child', 'Second Child', and 'Third Child'. Her imagination in names was not great.)

Tigranes then captured and enslaves the hapless inhabitants of the Messana and Pelops Districts, using them as labor to build the fortifications and work the fields. This allowed the legion to, in her words 'Focus on Cutting and Shooting'. This act also ensured that the men and women of the Seventh and a Half Legion would always have to remain alert in order to avoid being overthrown by their own slaves.

At the same time, Tigranes developed the practice of the use of auxillary forces (ie, firewand fodder), recruiting the best foreign warriors into specialty units which made up for the weaknesses of the Seventh and a Half Legion, such as a lack of hairdressers and fashion advisors to keep them looking good.

Finally, Tigranes created the War Council, which governs Cut'n'Shoot today, selecting the Grand Moffs and choosing the major unit commanders.

Government and Society

Cut'n'Shoot society is divided into three parts:

• Citizen-Soldiers: All who have served in the Military (or been given a deferment and alternate service), who possess the right to vote and participate in politics. The top of society.
• Aliens: Foreigners who reside in Cut'n'Shoot; they can conduct business but can't own land or buildings, and can only bear arms if they're drafted in time of war.
• Slaves: Everyone else's flunkies. Slaves can be granted citizenship for distinguished service. GOOD LUCK, YOU WILL NEED IT. Slaves have shaved heads and are expected to go topless when weather permits. They wear distinctive black clothing the rest of the time (and on the rest of their bodies.)

Citizen-Soldiers nnd Government

Every child of a Citizen-Soldier is automatically sent into the Military at the age of sixteen, or into some form of alternate service. Those who refuse this have their heads shaved and are sent out naked into the wilderness with only a copy of Robert's Rules of Order to help them survive. Few do, though some have observed that a large number of those who do survive eventually return as crazed villains determined to level Cut'n'Shoot to the ground and dance in the ashes. The custom, however, continues.

Those who complete their four year term of service now have the right to vote and may return to peaceful pursuits if they desire, though they are now part of the Reserves for life. Honorably discharged soldiers recieve small tattoos of a bow on one cheek and a sword on the other. Faking this tattoo is punished by confiscation of goods and slavery.

The Assembly is elected by all citizens, who are assigned to one of ten 'Tribes' upon leaving the military. Each has a distinct tattoo, which many citizens have placed on their brow. Each tribe elects representatives according to its numbers, though the military tries to keep the numbers even. The Assembly controls taxation and domestic affairs, subject to the veto of the Council and the Grand Moff.

The War Council is not elected; it approves or denies the Grand Moff's choice of replacements for each member, at least in theory according to merit, beauty, and Moe. It consists of the head of each Task Force of the military, and it elects the Grand Moff. The War Council controls foreign affairs and the army and it holds a veto over the decisions of the Assembly.

The Grand Moff acts as head of state, appointing new War Council Members with the approval of the War Council, and chosing other executive officers of government, with the approval of the council. He can veto its decisions, but they can over-ride him by a two-thirds vote. In times of war, his command over the military is nigh-absolute. It is often war.

Citizens may wear any color except yellow, brown, and black, which are reserved for other classes.

Aliens

Foreigners may live in Cut'n'Shoot freely so long as they don't mind having no political rights, paying an alien tax, wearing only yellow and brown, and being unable to own 'Real' property (land and buildings). Most are merchants or artisans, as most citizens are primarily good at stabbinating people. Some become wealthy.

They can be drafted in wartime; they may choose to become citizens when discharged if this happens.

Aliens must tread a tricky path between being not so uncute as the slaves and not looking cuter than the citizens, who see this as 'getting uppity'. 'Getting Uppity' tends to be informally punished with 'accidental tar and feathering' or 'accidental arson of your shop'.

Slaves

Being a slave means having a shaved head, wearing only black (so the dirt won't show), and busting your ass for the rest of your life, or until you say something that gets you new scars. Slaves are required to be as uncute as possible, so kiss hygiene goodbye.

Slaves work hard, boring lives, though a lucky few manage to impress their owner enough to be granted freedom. Many plot escape or rebellion; few succeed.

Slavery is hereditary, but few have kids, so Lookshy is always having to rustle up more slaves through wars, usually against the the Scarlet Empire or against the 101 Dalmatians. Or for hire. (see below)

A Mercenary Military State

Cut'n'Shoot is famed for its wines, the sale of which provides a great deal of revenue to the state. Nevertheless, Cut'n'Shoot always needs money and is quite willing to hire out military units to other nations in order to MAKE. JADE. FAST.

Its mercenaries bring in loot and also war captives, who restock the slave supply. Cut'n'Shoot mercs, unlike most, have an extremely good reputation for never taking bribes from your enemies, so long as you pay them. Failure to pay them on time has, at times, been taken as an excuse for Cut'n'Shoot to declare war on you and plunder your homeland.

Cut'n'Shoot has a much higher level of Iron Millenium weaponry and even Harem Age weaponry than almost anyone else. Some of it is WMU, stockpiled as a threat, but a variety of flying vehicles, suits of armor, and even TDMs (Thinly-Disguised Mecha) are part of its arsenal.

Magical Girls

Cut'n'Shoot has more Magical Girls than anywhere else outside the Scarlet Empire, and they heavily staff the officer ranks, making it possible to maintain all the Harem and Iron Millenium age weapons. They tend to dominate Cut'n'Shoot society, though there is a formal equality of all citizen-soldiers outside specifically military contexts.

The Kawaii Order operates here as well, though it changes its dogmas to fit Cut'n'Shoot's attitudes. Worship of the Broodingly Handsome Sun is forbidden here, though Cut'n'Shoot only assists in Wyld Hunts if somene pays for it.