Quendalon/Session03LetterToNerin

Cathak Nerin,

By now you’re far from where we’ve parted. At least I hope you are, and safely so. I don’t have much time before you wake, so I must be brief. Open your mind and heart to the words I express here as well as the feelings that must be behind them.

I have become fond of you, Nerin. I am grateful for that, but you must know that I do not love you. I am truly sorry if this hurts you or makes you angry, but I cannot bear for there to be misunderstanding between us again.

That is what I do know. What I do not know is whether or not I am Anathema. I have been taught, as have you, that I indeed am, but I cannot blindly accept that any longer. We are also taught that it is their intimacy with their Essence that makes the Children of the Dragons enlightened. I know this connection myself, now. When I draw upon it and channel its power, I feel elated and strong. I sense the very soul within me and it is full of light and passion. Passion to do nothing more than to help those that do not have this power. It is as if my soul is alive and making itself known to me. The presence of my soul within me is no longer a matter of faith. Not to me.

I did not ask for this. Remember that. I did not want this to happen. You know how much I wanted to be granted Mela’s Breath. We all expected it to happen with certainty. I have found that this Exaltation (for whatever it can be argued to be, it is just that) does not alter in any significant way my desire to do evil. I did not want to perpetrate malicious acts before and I do not wish to now. I have found that it has lessened my will to hate you, Nerin. We both know why I might have cause to do so. I do not anymore. It is no longer an issue as far as I am concerned.

Red Iron Rebuke. His master, Mask of Winters. The child-warrior in dark armor. These are Anathema, my friend. You have looked upon them, seen their deeds, heard their words. You can judge for yourself whether or not they seem to be Anathema. I believe so. I do not know yet, but I intend to find out.

What you must know is that I do not hate the Empire. I still care for its welfare, just as I care about the welfare of my wife and children. I beg of you, please do all you can to keep the stain my Exaltation puts upon my head from them. They are innocent. See that they stay safe.

I know that you must tell your superiors where you left me and that I planned to head east from there. I do not bear you any ill will for this. Do what you must. I know the Wyld Hunt will be coming for me. Do not do anything to change this. You must survive and prosper in order to protect the innocent for me. Also, do not participate in the Hunt. Do not come against me, Nerin. I will do what I must to survive. Know this. It is not a threat, simply an expression of my resolve. I must survive, study my Essence and learn about the threat that came against Thorns and could move against the Realm. Prepare them. I pray that others have survived the siege, but if not, you alone can help pave the way for the proper defense of all that you love and hold dear.

I see you stirring in your sleep, so must go now. I will kiss you good morning, we will travel some more and then I will kiss you goodbye. It may well be the last time I see you. It will not be the last time I think of you. I will miss you. Thank you for being by my side, for saving me and for helping me keep Zera alive.

Your loving friend,

Aekino