Xilanada - Pursuit Of Regretted Truths/Part 7

Ava woke in darkness, tried to rub her eyes and realized her hands were pinned. So was the rest of her, for that matter. "...Glee?"

A shift of motion from the warm body against her reminded her of how close they were. The half-Faerie's reply of "Yeah?" was hardly necessary.

"Why's it so dark?" Ava asked, craning her head about, trying to look around. And what was that weight on her head?

"Your Anima went out a while ago. There's no light inside the wall. Sorry!"

"...oh. Okay. How are you?" The body Ava felt wrapped around her seemed different, strange, but it was whole enough. At least, the parts she could feel. Ava sniffed and smelled a very pleasant scent. What was that?

"...I'm alright, Ava."

"Are you? Well, you're alive at least. I'm relieved for that. You feel different, though."

"I am different." The Fleshdreamt Professor sounded subdued, something Ava wasn't used to hearing from her. She gave Glee a hug. Given that they were already embraced, and too close to do anything else, it mostly consisted of her just tightening her arms.

"Than?"

"Than I was before."

"Are you trying to be difficult?" Ava said crossly.

"Hah, no. But how often do you like people talking about when you were a Funerist, Ava?"

"Who cares? But I suppose everyone has parts of their past they don't want to discuss or deal with." Ava frowned to herself, as she tried to focus on her past. She'd run away from Sijan and had spent years concealing who she'd been. Why was that? It seemed so...pointless now, so much work for no discernable reward.

"Yep! This is the part I don't like to discuss or deal with!" Glee's voice was friendly and soothing but the words were not.

"...I didn't mean to upset you, Glee. I'm sorry." Ava wasn't convinced that she was actually sorry but it was the thing to say. So touchy over something so small!

"I'm not upset! Really. It's just...awkward. You were born Exalted, right? So you must have a little idea what it's like to be born different than everyone else. I spent a long time changing myself to be what I wanted to be and...I'm afraid I had to sacrifice some of that to survive."

"Is there anything I can do?" Ava asked, remembering why Glee had needed to make that sacrifice. She owed the woman. "Here, let me conjure a light and see to your wounds."

"No, don't!" Glee's voice was suddenly desperate, panicky. "I mean...no need. I'm healing okay on my own. And I don't want you to see me right now, okay? Please?"

"If that's what you want," Ava grumbled, irritated yet again with the evasive Fae-Blooded.

"I'll be fine in a while," Glee said, in a voice no doubt meant to be reassuring. "We have to stay in her a bit longer while I finish healing and, besides, there's still guards outside. I want to be at my best when we take them!"

"That's fine, I'm still recovering my spent Essence," Ava said agreeably. She tried to scratch her head and couldn't quite get her hand up that far. Instead, she rubbed against that weight on her head, which seemed to do the trick. "Hey, what's that on my head?" she asked.

"Oh...ummm...my boobs. Sorry, I'll try to lean back and see if I can make a little more room!"

"Wait, your...how tall are you now, Glee?" Glee had been a little shorter than she was, last time Ava had seen her. And they'd both lost height with the Disguise of a New Face. Even if Glee's spell had failed, though, Glee wasn't that much taller than Lyla.

"A lot taller than you," the half-Faerie confirmed. "Told you I'm different. There, that better?" The weight lifted and Ava felt a flash of girlish annoyance. That was funny. When had she ever cared about other women's endowments and the attention they attracted?

"I'm fine, Glee. Don't worry about me, really. I feel fine. Better than I thought I'd be after being Ravished, to tell the truth. Am I healed?"

"No, sorry. I tried to take only what I needed and you're an Exalt, which helps! I'll make sure someone sees to you, Ava, promise. You may not feel it but you won't be yourself again until it's been healed."

Ava thought about that. On one hand, she recognized what must have happened. Intellectually, she was quite aware of what Ravishment did to people. It diminished vibrancy, individuality, it consumed passion and motivation and everything that made a person unique. By Glee's word, Ava had been diminished but she didn't feel any different. So far, the only thing she was confused about was why she'd made certain choices in the past.

"So what's different about me?" she asked at last, unable to figure it out on her own.

"I consumed some of your self-control. I had to feed on some of your compassion and determination, too. Thankfully, you have a really powerful spirit! Right now, you're more ordinary, which beats being a vegetable any day! Ummm...you're not disguised anymore either. Sometimes, I'm able to feed on residual enchantments and, since I could this time, I did. To spare you, you know."

"Oh." Ava tried to stretch and mostly failed. "Sometimes? You can't control it?"

"Wellllll..." Glee said with a long drawl. "It's more about how much I let myself become that which can feed on enchantment."

"Glee, by Acheron's waters, what are you?"

"...I don't really know," Glee admitted. Ava rested her head against the Professor's side and sighed. That sweet-smelling odor was stronger. What was that? It was just on the tip of her mind!

"You don't know who your parents were?"

"Do you?" Glee asked, ducking the question.

"Yes. They died when I was pretty young though. They were both mortal. No one understood how I could be born so strong from no obvious bloodline."

From deep inside her, a terrible sadness welled up like water from one of Nexus' storm drains during the yearly flooding. It burst through her, wrenching her heart cruelly, and Ava shook with deep sobs that came upon her from nowhere. Glee's arms tensed slightly and Ava cried against her stomach, cried as the little girl she'd never been should have.

Time passed and the all-encompassing grief lessened until she could breath again.

"They're very lucky!" Glee whispered cheerfully. "To have a daughter who loved them so much, any parent would be proud!" Ava nodded against her and sniffled.

"I never realized how much I miss them. I never realized I did because...well, they were both ghosts in Sijan while I was growing up. They're still there so in a way I never did lose them. But...I did, didn't I? I can feel it, inside of me. They're both really dead and they'll never be able to hug me or live my life with me again. I never thought about it but now I can't seem to help myself."

"Look on the bright side of life, Ava," Glee said consolingly. She utterly lacked the proper practiced air of condolence but Ava smiled, knowing the woman's heart was in it and she couldn't be expected to have a Funerist's skill. "You did have some time with them, you still got to know them and they got to see their daughter grow up. Lots of kids never know their parents at all. Some wish they didn't. So smile at what fate brings you!"

Ava wiped her cheeks against Glee's taut skin and sniffed. The scent was stronger than ever, seeming to be right under her nose. She licked her lips and tasted cinnamon. That's what it was, cinnamon!

"Glee...why do you taste like cinnamon?"

"Oh, do I? I'm sorry, that's...ummm...blood. I'm almost completely healed now but I couldn't exactly clean up, you know?" Glee's embarrassed giggle was no different than that of the dozens of young girls Ava had helped, for those who entered womanhood during a term at the School. She laughed softly and hugged Glee again.

"Don't worry about it, silly. I was an adventurer and field doctor. I've had more blood on me than most people have in their body, at one time or another. But why is yours so different?"

"Probably because of my heritage," Glee said with a bemused sigh. "Oh, the drama! Mysterious half-Faerie Professor confesses the truth! I can hear a city crier now!"

"Well, I want to know!" Ava said indignantly. "You going to keep dancing around the subject or are you going to talk?"

"You wondered how it felt to be Ravished, Ava. Do you understand now?" Ava shook her head and then confessed she didn't, after realizing Glee couldn't see her in the dark. "You've always been the quiet one at the School, all reserved and respectful even when I was annoying you. But you'll speak up now, won't you? Just one consequence from what I did."

"You're still avoiding my question," Ava said determinedly, though Glee's comment troubled her deeply. How much had she been changed? She didn't feel bad but it did make her angry that she'd been tampered with. It was a nice feeling, thinking about blaming Glee, but Ava was intelligent enough to recognize that she was different than she'd been and it had been her choice. That was something she would have to come to terms with.

"Fine!" Glee said. "My mother was...well, my father was an Anathema. An old one from the First Age. I don't know what his real name was but the Ebon Shadow Dragon named him Relentless Tyranny an Age ago and, as far as I know, he still wears that name proudly."

"Hey, hey," Ava protested. "Your father's an Akuma?"

"Technically...he's an Infernal," Glee corrected. "He was a Chosen of Luna a thousand years ago but he traded that allegiance for power and mastery even before the Usurpation."

"Wow." Ava thought about it for a moment, than slid her hands up along Glee's sides, across her back. The woman seemed larger than before but otherwise unchanged. "So...shouldn't you be like...a beast-woman or something? I thought they produced children after their likeness. Or does that not happen when a Silver Anathema mates with a Faerie?"

"My mother was not a Faerie," Glee said in a tiny voice that wasn't the least bit merry or jovial.

"Glee..." Ava said hesitatingly, confused by a wash of mixed emotions racing through her. Burning curiosity vied with deep shame at bringing up something so painful. Unsure, she just hugged Glee again, holding her tightly.

"She has many names, though most are long forgotten by now. Dad never called her wife, for she was not and I know his heart longed for his long-dead Solar. Even as a child, I could taste that. No, Dad called her 'my mistress' but her name is Erembour and she is someone I never even put thought to if I can help it."

"You're...a demon?" For Erembour was known in the oldest books as one of the mightiest of Hell, a Third Circle Demon of full strength. Only the Yozi's themselves were stronger and Erembour was said to have brought armies prosperity or ruin, so vast was her power.

Ava reeled in shock, then shuddered at the smell of cinnamon all over her, the taste of the woman's blood on her lips, at the intimate embrace their imprisonment in the stone had forced them into. She tried to jerk away but couldn't, couldn't manage the room. This close, though...perhaps a continual feed of Elemental Lightning would kill her.

"I don't know," Glee said, either unaware of Ava's revulsion or choosing to ignore it in the darkness. "I don't think so, though. Those wards won't hold me. And though Dad raised me a little in Malfaes, I've lived most of my life in Creation. I'm not bound by the pacts."

"Tell me the truth!" Ava demanded. "Do you serve Hell in your heart? Have you ever committed acts against Creation?"

"Uhhh...no." Glee sighed a little forlornly. "Ummm...I didn't want to...and Dad didn't want me to either. They...uhh...didn't think much of me."

Ava's Charms, brought to life by hours of rest, told her much and some of it calmed her. There was a great deal of guilt in Glee's soul but it rested on the safe side. Though Ava couldn't tell exactly what it was about, the Professor's guilt seemed to be in connection with failing her parents, rather than having sacrificed the innocent. She wasn't lying either, though Ava had already learned through harsh experience that that Charm was not fool-proof. Someone had died because of her ignorance, back then.

Most importantly, Ava attuned herself ever so slightly to Glee and sought out her connections, the social ties that bound her to people and places. Seya, the Headmistress and her best friend. Xilanada, the sweet blonde who she lusted for so powerfully...wait, what? Ava blinked at that but could only file it away for later as the information continued. Master Andrus Corso, the Dragon-Blooded Sorcerer who had taught her to use her Essence for good.

But more than that...when Ava looked past Glee's heart and found where it lay, the Six Poses of Lightning School was where it had settled. Not Hell. The School.

So, no demons for close associates and no trace of the Green Sun in the home of her mind. Perhaps she was telling the truth.

"So, what happens now?" Ava asked when it was obvious Glee didn't want to say any more. "I'm going to guess you're not going to sacrifice me to your parents, you could have already done so. Why don't you do that, anyway?"

"...I'd mess it up," Glee mumbled.

"You can't mess up a sacrifice unless you say the wrong name," Ava chuckled, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Glee muttered a little bit louder. "There's a reason I don't live in Malfaes and why they don't speak to me. I don't want to and they don't want to. I don't like evil and I always messed up any tasks they ever gave me so they quit trying."

"You really expect me to believe that?" Ava asked skeptically.

"It's not my fault!" Glee insisted. "Or maybe it is, I don't know. Once, when I was a kid, I was supposed to scare this one kid so it'd make him hateful, because I guess Destiny was going to make him great and Mom wanted him on her side. Well, I tried but it ended up making him laugh, not scaring him and he grew up to be a great storyteller of the North after Luna Exalted him."

Ava couldn't help herself. She laughed.

"And then there was one time," Glee continued. "I was about the same age as Lyla was and my parents tried one last time to make some use out of me. So I was supposed to Ravish this other girl my age, a Dragon-Blooded, and I tried but...I don't know, I did it wrong."

"How do you Ravish someone wrong?" Ava asked, laughing harder. Even Glee was starting to sound amused, though the weight of guilt was heavy on her. "For that matter, how can you Ravish at all? You're not really Fae-Blooded."

"I blame Mom, though for all I know my Dad can do it." Glee shrugged. "As for the girl, I was supposed to consume her sympathy for others, make her colder and meaner. But I ended up somehow consuming her anger instead. She ended up becoming a great Sorcerer for the Realm, she stopped a 7th Legion unit from using a First Age weapon in the war with Thorns that could have killed everyone in a country by accident, did you know? And then she settled down here and became the Headmistress of the School."

"Wait, you mean Seya?" Ava thought about the revelation. "No wonder she's always so nice."

"She's nice because I Ravished her evil and impulsiveness by mistake," Glee said, sounding a little glum but with a bubble of laughter beneath it. "And maybe that's why she let me come here and teach. She gave me a home and friends and I owe her everything for that."

"Aw, Glee, that's so sweet!"

For a moment, Ava wondered if her assumption of Glee's good faith was magically motivated or not. Here she was, laughing to the stories of some half-demon, half-Anathema creature who had already Ravished her once. Ava dismissed the thought about as quickly as she thought of it, though. After all, Glee had already tampered with her mind so who was to say if anything she was feeling was genuine?

"Well, are you healed? Ready to go?" Ava asked.

"Uhh...yessssss, I'm healed but I can't quite leave yet." Glee was sounding embarrassed again.

"Why not?"

"Because I had to become something else to survive your Anima, Ava, and I'm not quite done turning back to myself yet. Until I do...I won't be able to function while it's still sunny outside."

"How long will it take then?" Ava asked impatiently, suddenly eager to be done with this and be back at their mission. Trapped in this place, she couldn't even use Words on the Wind to alert Seya of what she'd found out! And she was itching for more payback against that Deathknight that had turned her students into monsters!

"A couple of hours, I think. It would have been sooner but I didn't start until just a few minutes ago, after I finished healing. Sorry." Glee sounded so apologetic that Ava hugged her again, squeezing as tightly as she could until the Professor giggled in protest.

"Oh, Glee. It'll be fine. We can't have been in here that long. How long has it been anyway?"

"Beats me. So what do you want to do?" Glee sounded bright and cheery again, back to her old self in voice and spirit, if not in body.

"Hey, come here, come closer," Ava whispered and she squirmed to inch her way up in the tight space, grateful that she'd rarely ever felt stiff or sore like she'd heard mortals got in cramped conditions.

"Whyyyyyy?" Glee asked, sounding suspicious. Nonetheless, she bent down with considerably greater ease until they were face to face in the darkness. Ava couldn't see her, but she could feel her breath on her face. Glee's exhalation smelled like wild honey.

So Ava kissed her.

"Mrhff!" Glee exclaimed, trying to talk around Ava's suddenly passionate mouth. Ava kissed her until she was good and done before breaking away to give the other woman a chance to breathe.

"What was that for!" Glee sputtered in surprise.

"I wanted to. You see, Glee...I realized while we've been talking that a lot of the reason you've annoyed me in the past is that I've been jealous of your freedom. I really do like you and I consider you a friend. Now, I don't like you like you in that way. I'm not into women but I know you are. And I wanted to say thanks...and that I'm sorry."

"Awww, it's okay." Glee squirmed next to her and settled down. "Ava?"

"What?"

"Tell me a story?"