IceAndWave/BeautyAndHorror

Beauty and Horror

In which replacements are made, the past is brought to light, and strong assurances are made...

The 26th Day of Resplendent Air, Realm Year 764

The wagons' stately roll as they proceed up the Old Road provides a slight nautical feeling to the whole thing, although this is dispelled by the snow-covered mountains and plains with stubborn clumps of frozen rain still clinging to them. In her makeshift cabin (seperated from the others by a mere curtain) Venia rests in a gently swaying hammock.

Venia perhaps could have pushed for more of a personal space... but why? It would be more than she deserves. She curls up with one of Sian's old coats, the smell on it still strong as she lays there, trying to get used to the oddly dreamy feeling of her new life.

Someone taps on the pole holding up the partition. "Venia?" Aia says quietly, "Are you alright? Do you want anything?"

Venia blinks, pinching herself to make sure she's not imagining the visitor. Her voice is a lot smoother than it has been lately, though an odd accent has crept back into it. "Oh... Aia. Urm... would you mind stepping in? I could use a little company, and some help."

The godblood steps inside, pulling the curtain closed behind her. A small crate is appropriated to become a seat. "What do you need?"

Venia works her way up to a sitting position, pupils a bit darker, blacker than normal. "Beyond trying to stop thinking I'm going to be hurt whenever I'm not alone?" She smiles a bit, pulling her loose shirt off and fingering a thick, heavy ring. "I was hoping you could help me take these out... maybe for something a little smaller, less ugly and rough."

Aia breathes in sharply, her ears folding back, "They look... painful. Are you sure you don't just want them removed?"

"And just have empty holes instead? You get used to the ache..."

Aia looks at Venia, "If you're sure... I think that these wagons have some tools in them for repairs. I can probably find something that will cut the rings loose."

"Thank you. I just... I don't like Sian or Cassia dealing with this sort of thing." She shrugs. "I doubt I can't get any lower in your eyes, so I might as well ask."

"Venia, you're... you're not low in anybody's eyes. It wasn't your fault." She stands, "I'll be back soon, and I'll see if I can find something to... replace them with." The curtain ripples for a few seconds after she leaves.

Venia shrugs again, not really believing her. She stretches back out on the hammock, tugging the coat over herself to wait, intensely interested in the grain of the wood ceiling

A few minutes later Aia returns, carrying a cloth wrapped bundle. "I got something that I think will do it," she unfurls the greasy cloth to reveal a fairly hefty-looking set of clippers, "I think they're for wheel repairs, but they should be enough for..." she leaves it hanging.

Venia looks over at her. "Mmm... If they aren't, I had best get used to the idea of them staying." She sits up, swinging her legs out of the hammock and putting both arms behind her back, deep breath as she grabs her elbows tightly to keep from moving.

Aia pulls the tool open and carefully places one of the offending rings between the blades. "I'll try not to pull too much, Venia, but I've never really done this before."

"You can't hurt me any worse by accident than they did by trying to." She closes her eyes, "Besides, I've already got my painkiller for the day..."

"Hrm..." Aia grunts, and then pulls the clipper shut, twisting and then cutting through the ring with a musical *ting!*

Venia lets out the breath in relief, nodding thankfully at her and taking another one.

A second attack on the ring leaves it with a large piece on the floor, unmissed and unremarked, and Aia smiles, "It should come out fairly easily now."

Venia nods, carefully unlocking her hands and reaching up to it, threading the ring through without too much trouble and tossing it away. She touches the hole and regrets it, flinching a bit. "The other one, now?"

"Yes." More confident now, Aia quickly cuts a section out of the other ring, barely pulling on the tender flesh at all this time.

Venia threads that one out too. "Better... I couldn't wear anything I brought but that shirt... they all were too tight. Couldn't stand the feeling." She sighs, shivering a little at the feel of air passing through the open holes.

"I... " Aia holds out another, smaller, cloth bundle, "I went through some of your jewelry, looking for ear-rings you could use." She hands it to the Dragon-Blood.

Venia takes it, opening it carefully and picking through with a finger. "I forgot I even brought this stuff... maybe I meant to sell it."

"I packed it," she blushes, "They were too pretty to leave behind."

Venia smiles, hooking a pair of the larger ones, a surprisingly pretty blue marble with silver balls to close the gap. "I don't mind. They were meant to be enjoyed, and I haven't been in the mood lately... what do you think of these?"

"They look nice, and nowhere near as heavy as the others."

Venia nods, carefully thumbing the silver catches back and feeding them through, biting her lip on the second one as it comes through a bit smeared with red. She wipes it off with her discarded shirt. "Mrm... clumsier than I used to be." The bundle is refolded and passed back to Aia, "If you see anything you like, please, use it."

"Thank you," she smiles, "Although I'm not sure what Sian would say if I started wearing your earrings."

Venia shrugs, "Even though I liked collecting... I mean, I killed people for a living, it's not like I had much else to spend the money on, I never wore a lot of those. He probably wouldn't recognize them anyway."

Aia nods, leans sideways to hug Venia gently, "Thank you again. And, if you need anything, I'll be around."

Venia nods, leaning across to kiss her cheek. "I appreciate that... It's funny when being around a hundred people makes you feel more alone than ever."

"I know how you feel," Aia sighs, "It was like that a lot as Osikuthe's court."

"Mmm... Do you have time to talk about it? I don't mean to pry, but this isn't something I've ever really even had nightmares about... it's just so foreign to me."

"Of course," she settles in closer to Venia, "What do want to know?"

Venia lays back in the hammock with her, just for ease and because she feels a bit wobbly, passing Aia the small pillow, "I don't even know what to ask... just a general sense of how things were... When you started getting better."

"I'm not sure," Aia sighs, "I was there for a long time. I had resigned myself to it, and then Sian rescued me." She smiles at the memory, "We were sailing back for two months, and I had nightmares then. Sian helped me when I woke up screaming then, holding me until it passed."

Venia nods. "I suppose that would help... I don't even dream anymore."

"They'll come back, you just need time to heal. Whitewall will be good for that. It's quiet and away from everything. I think the Syndics like it that way," she shudders slightly at the memory.

Venia nods, a little reassured. "I'm just not sure what I want to do. Half of me wants to forget it, and the other half wants bloody revenge... I'd just gotten used to caring about people again, and it happened."

"I wish there was something I could say to help, Venia, but remember... there are people who care about you. A lot of them are in this wagon." She hugs the Dragon-Blood again, "I... we are here if you need us."

Venia nods, chuckling a little. "Yeah... again, it's all backwards... you want help, but nobody can really give it except by being there. Well... and the heroin. That helps a lot.... don't tell Cassia? Please?"

"Your secret is safe with me," Aia smiles, but with a slight frown.

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't much like drugs. A lot of the... people in my mother's court would use them, and I didn't like what it did to them. Just... be careful."

"Mmmmm... maybe that's why Sian won't let me do it myself." She shrugs. "It helps me function... for now, I feel fine. I guess it's being Cynis, but I don't see it as any different than coffee or tea."

Aia nods, "Well, Sian won't let you hurt yourself or do anything dangerous, so I think you're safe. I just... don't like drugs, I guess."

"I grew up in a family that made the best. Drugs, medicine, poison... it's how I first met Sian, years ago." She chuckles a little. "I'd have had a bad childhood if I had your attitude. I don't mind, though, the difference is nice... makes me a little tired, though. I think I'm going to sleep a while. See you tomorrow?"

"Of course," Aia slides out of the hammock, "Rest well." She kisses Venia on the forehead and slips out.

Venia curls up again, throwing the coat over her head to block out the sound and light.

The 2nd Day of Descending Air, Realm Year 764

Feeling guilty at having neglected her for the past several days, Sian decided to look in on Diamond. A small cubby in one of the wagons passes for her home, partioned off with curtains as so much else is. It is perhaps his pre-occupation that causes him to miss the voice coming from there, and only when he pokes his head through the curtains in greeting does he notice Oriel.

She looks up at the movement and gasps when she sees Sian. Her face is pale and she has obviously been crying recently. Without a word she runs past Sian, disappearing into the maze of curtains on the lower level of the wagon, leaving only the sounds of her sobs.

Sian turns to follow her, sparing Diamond a glance before doing so.

Diamond shrugs as best she can and lays back on her hammock. Oriel has vanished into the curtains, but is fairly easy to track down, huddled against some of the sacks of food bought for the journey. She looks up when at the sound of Sian's arrival and cringes away.

Sian stops walking, just standing a few feet away. "Oriel..."

Oriel sobs, "Don't! Stay... stay away!"

Sian sort of sags a little, seating himself on one of the bags, not moving closer to her. "She told you, then."

"Yes, she sa... she wrote down what happened to her," she looks her, her eyes filled with a mixture of disgust and anger, "What you did to her!"

"Mm." He just nods a little, looking at his hands, having no adequate reply.

"Why? How?" Oriel sobs, "I thought you were a good person!"

"I am. I... try to be, at least." He shakes his head a little. "I was scared, and angry."

"But why? Why would you do that to someone?"

Sian shrugs awkwardly. "She... she was talking about my daughter. I didn't even think, I just... snapped."

"Your... daughter?"

"Yeah. Aia's and mine."

Oriel looks up from her huddle, "What did, what could she say that would make you do..." she shudders, and crouches back down.

Sian sighs a little, trying to remember the exact phrase. "'The child will herald our victory. She will open the Soulgate for us.' Given that Diamond was working with the dead, I don't think that is something I want that to happen."

"She was... with them? She didn't sa... tell me that. Did you... did you cut out her voice, too?"

"No. Just the arm. The people she was with came for her, when they found out she told me things about them. I scared them off, but not after they got her vocal chords."

"Oh..." Oriel says quietly, "So... why are you taking her with you?"

"To make up for what I did." He shrugs again.

"Oh, Sian..." her eyes fill with tears again.

Sian just looks at the floor, feeling as miserable as he did in the days after the event itself.

"I... I think I had forgotten that you were... different," she looks up, "I guess some of the stories are sort of true, after all." She sniffs, wipes her eyes, "Can I... can I be alone for a little, please?"

"Yeah." He rises, and starts to make his way out, but pauses just before he leaves. "I don't sleep anymore, so... if you want to talk further, I'll be awake. I'll understand if you don't."

"Mhm..." Oriel nods, still huddled up against the sacks.

Sian just nods a little as well, mostly to himself, before disappearing.

---

Aia looks up at the disturbance in the curtains, and immediately stands to hug Sian as he enters. She strokes his face, and ushers him to the hammock, getting a cup of hot tea.

Sian sinks into the hammock gladly, quite tired, for more than physical reasons.

The catgirl places the warm cup into Sian's hands and then sits down next to him. "What's wrong?" she asks after a soft kiss.

"Mmm. A lot." He just holds the tea, not yet drinking it.

She shuffles backwards on the hammock, setting it to swinging a little, until she sits behind Sian. Her fingers rest of his shoulders and begin a slow massage of the tension points.

Sian closes his eyes, careful not to let the massage relax him too much. "Thanks."

"You looked like you needed it," her voice smiles and she plants a quick kiss on the back of his neck, her fingers still working away slowly.

"Don't know what I'd do without you..." He sighs a little.

"Be grumpier, I expect," Aia chuckles, "And sleep with stiff shoulders." Her fingers move down as she speaks, digging out knots of tension from muscle, "Want to talk about it?" she asks quietly.

"Mm." He sips the tea, silent for a moment. "Oriel. She was talking to Diamond. And... she knows what I did to her."

The fingers pause for a moment, "Oh..." she says softly, and then resumes her work.

"Oh is right." Another sip. "And I have nothing to say to her... she's right. I'm not who she thought I was."

Aia doesn't say anything for a few moments, "You didn't know you could... do what you did, either. I know how much what you did hurts you, inside." She kisses the back of his neck again, longer this time, "You're not a monster, Sian."

"Maybe." He looks down at his drink. "Weird how things can change feel so fast. Few days ago, I felt fine... I was accomplishing things. Now I'm not sure I can do anything."

"You will do what you always do," the catgirls legs slide around his waist, wrapping around him as she pulls herself up against his back, "What you know is right."

Sian rests a hand on her ankle. "Mmm. I'm not really sure what's right, though."

"Good. Being sure you're right is rarely a good sign," her head rests on his shoulder, "You can be sure of one thing, though..." she kisses his ear. "I couldn't love a monster."

Sian manages a smile. "Spose so. I just worry."

"I know you do. But Ishandia did a good job of bringing you up," she chuckles, "even with all the girls."

"Mrm. True." He sighs, and sort of sinks down to rest his head in her lap, tea resting on his chest. "Hope I can get Oriel to understand. Venia is my main worry, at the moment, though."

"She's been very badly hurt, her body and her soul," Aia sighs and looks down at Sian, "She needs time to recover. Time, and her friends."

"Not sure that's going to be enough. I don't want her using the heroin forever, but... she's so fragile without it. Even small things get to her. She was crying in my arms a few days ago."

"Has she told Cassia yet?"

"Not that I know of."

Aia sighs, "I hope that she does before Cassia finds out for herself."

"Mhm. That girl is perceptive, sometimes."

"Yes. And she has a good memory, too."

Sian nods slightly, and idly dips a finger into the tea to stir it around. "I'll leave it up to Venia, though. Not my place to say."

"Have you talked to Venia about her? Cassia."

"Not yet. She mentioned wanting to talk to her, but I don't know what about."

"Mmm..." Aia pauses for a moment, lost in thought. She hugs Sian tightly, and then pulls away, "Finish that tea, or put it down, and give me a hug, would you dear?"

Sian just smiles a bit, and finishes off the tea, sitting up and drawing her into his lap for a proper embrace.

"That's better," she whispers, kissing Sian firmly.

Sian is quite amenable to this, squeezing her gently. "Always manage to make me feel better..."

Aia smiles, and leans back a little, exposing the lacing of her top, "Care to make me feel better, too?"

Sian doesn't even have to say anything, simply reaching for the buttons.