GoldenCat/WallsofIce
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Walls of Ice
Selina de Windia: Standing in the room, alone, after getting up from the bed, moving to her feet and blinking in the low light. Funny, that. She was alone so often after that, so many times, for so many years. They almost never wanted to stick around.
Yeah, well, you ain't getting away from me that easily.
No greatcoat. That stays draped over the chair. She dons her be-weaponed belt, though, over the sleek black cloth of her leotard -- shining vaguely in some light as the soulsteel threads amidst the grave-silk catches it. And straps her knives back to her legs -- all of them -- above the dull-black of her thigh-length boots. They could see the Dark Angel, come to their house of sighs. They could all see. No coat to hide her.
Sliding her long gloves back on, she blinks, then scoffs at nothing in particular.
I should go check on those two.
She was going to have to do something about that silly affection they seemed to hold for the Vestal, Selina decides, adjusting the dull black gloves with the sounds of well used leather coming every so oftent. It would be horribly inconvenient for them to go back to her the moment she appeared before them, out of affection or desire.
The way was clear, now.
I will crush any desire they have to go back.
Crush it, as her life had crushed her idealism. Grind it into the dust, and scatter it to the winds. Selina could not afford those two their illusions, not if they would land her into an existance of being Charmaine's toy. Turquoise eyes looking to the door, Selina runs a hand through her long pale blonde hair, and makes to leave the room.
Seventh Moon: Coming down the stairs, Moon left Kanti behind him by the door to her room. She wanted to stop and say good-bye to Fiona. After all that shit about not waking her up, seemed pretty damn rude to go and wake her up for that, but maybe it was a chick thing. Even after living surrounded by them his whole life, he didn't try to pretend he knew all their secret ways. Gave him a chance to go back down to the basement and grab his coat though. Hands his pockets and eyes to the floor, he made his way through the common room before anyone other than Sparrow noticed him again.
Clamoring down the stairs, he didn't notice Selina standing there till he had nearly run into her. The Lunar froze part way to the bottom. His back to the light above, his features were shadowed beyond the ice-blue eyes that stared at her in mild surprise.
"Didn't think you'd be up yet" he said after a moment, finishing the stairs at slower pace. "Looked pretty comfortable in bed. Didn't wanna wake ya."
Selina de Windia: Stopping before she runs into Moon, Selina pauses for awhile, as he talks. Listens to all of it. Maybe that's the only reason he'd left.
But she didn't think so.
"Yeah." Selina says matter of factly, as if she could not care less. Her eyes met his, but they betrayed no emotion, at all. "I was pretty comfortable. Thanks for the consideration, I appreciate it."
Seventh Moon: "Sure," he grunts back, his tone flat in answer to hers. Might not have been the truth, but it was nicer than saying...
Hey, sorry I left without letting you know, but your afterglow was making the whole room fuckin' creepy.
If that was the way she wanted to play about it. "Just came back down ta grab my coat," he told her, brushing past to gather the heavy jacket from the table top where he'd left it. "Was gonna head out with one of the kids. The scarred one, Kanti."
Selina de Windia: "Ah, Kanti." Selina says, smirking faintly and moving aside as he goes past, turning to watch him move across the room. Men always tried to act like nothing'd happened, but she always knew -- at least after the first one or three instances. And almost none of them ever had the stones to tell her. She wondered why.
Maybe cause then, they think they'd have to live with it.
"Speaking of her, I have to do a little chat with her." The Windian begins casually, non-chalant as before. "Got to clear up something she may not be aware of. About how she is never going back to her 'mistress', ever again. No matter how badly she wants to."
Seventh Moon: "Save it till later," he says, pulling on the long coat and adjusting it over his shoulders. The staps and buckles that secured the thick garment jingled as he started to lock them together. Slowly. Still getting use to the damn thing. Made him miss his old leather coat... "She's already scared ta death of you, ya know. Only just got the jittery lil thing ta relax a bit. Even got her to put something over that damn fetish get-up she wears."
Speaking of which. Moon looked over at Selina and what she was wearing. Or rather, what she wasn't.
"That ain't a good idea, y'know. Walking around without somethin' on over that," he told her before turning his attention back to the buckle of his coat. The tip of his head that accompanied it was general, but there couldn't be much doubt he meant the leotard she wore. "Least, not unless ya want yesterday ta be repeated again."
Selina de Windia: "The dead? Yeah, if you mean them catching on. Ain't going out like this. Just wanted to walk around in the house some without the stuffy coat on." Selina shrugs, not moving from her position. "But I have to tell Kanti soon. I don't want her bolting back to that bitch when we finally meet up with her."
Seventh Moon: The Lunar paused from fixing the cuffs on his sleeve, looking up at the Windian. The dead? What was she... Oh. The Spire. Moon suddenly started to laugh, shaking his head.
"Naw darlin', I meant gettin' mobbed by a buncha horny drunks wanting ta buy a piece of ya." Almost choking down the last of his mirth, he smiled at her. "You're in the red-lantern, hun. I won't ever complain about your clothes, but dressed like that, they're gonna think you're for sell like the rest of the girls. Especially if you're hanging around in here."
It had felt good laugh, like the sound had chased away the lingering stillness from the bedroom. Or at least helped him forget about it.
"Hey, why don't you come with us? We'll knock around a few places. Have some laughs, y'know?" Flaring up the collar of his coat, he stepped closer to the assassin and held his hand out towards her. It was an invitation, in his own way an apology for leaving her alone in the bedroom."I can stop by the old crazy and hit him up for some change. Maybe we can find ya something decent ta wear. Ain't never been there myself, but everyone says they got some nice tailors over near Highlane. Said ya'd only wear something well made, right?"
Selina de Windia: "They get that desperate?" She takes his hand, wondering if she should just tell him why she gets like that after sex. It couldn't be worse than not knowing. Maybe he wouldn't leave her next time. "Suppose I could wear something over this. But this suit's good as light chainmail -- better, perhaps. I never go around without concealed armor in a city where people might be looking for me."
"Though, I do have a question for you." She ends, looking at him directly.
Seventh Moon: Desperate?
Moon leaned back with a bemused expression, looking her up and down as fit waiting for the punch line. Whatever else her outfit could do, the most outstanding feature in his opinion was that she looked damn sexy in it.
She seemed serious suddenly though. Moon wiped the smile from his face and met her gaze, tipping his head to the side. "What's up?"
Selina de Windia: "You asked me why I'm playing this war. Contract, threat to Windia, etc. I have personal reasons, and professional" She looks to the bed, then back to him. "But why are you? Back when we first met, you seemed to want the Vestal dead. When she ran, you didn't hit that golem till later. She had something else with her. I may have been busy with her and her tentacled horror, but I noticed that much."
Pursing her lips, then sighing, she continues, having pressed it this far. "Charmaine got someone of yours?"
Seventh Moon: His fingers tighten around her hand. Just barely. The pressure almost a flinch. The expression on his face doesn't change, not a muscle twitches, but the look of apprehension fades away and leaves behind something empty and angry.
" yeah." He says, he voice tight and low. "Yeah, that bitch took someone of mine. Took someone I was really tight with."
Selina de Windia: And I was right. She thinks, but doesn't say. Selina could say something else, but she doesn't bother to voice that either. Her life was no model other people needed to compare to anyway.
"If you get her back, you going to stop?" She didn't bother to leave the sex of this victim neutral, Charmaine liked girls far too much to speculate about men. And she'd seen men get this way over their girlfriends and wives before. "Come back here with her?"
Seventh Moon: "Naw." he reply was immediate, almost riding over her question when he figured out what she was about to ask. "I'll bring her back here, get her out of the way. But fuck that, if you think I'm gonna stop there."
Straightening up, Moon gripped Selina's hand tighter still. Firm and certain, he spoke evenly as he faced her. "Sarah's the reason I started this, but she ain't the only reason I'm doin' it anymore."
Selina de Windia: "What--" Selina begins, wings moving lower as he grasps her hand more strongly. "What is it, then?"
Alex? Me?
Killing Charmaine?
Even though, in the end, she had no intention of letting Charmaine die. Not for anyone's vengeance. Selina was going to pay her back in full for her insults, and Charmaine could not receive that payment dead.
Seventh Moon: "Cause I saw what they did back in the Spire, the fuckers." He pauses and breaths as the memory of that sight looms back into his mind. Blood on the earth, in the water, in the sky. Faces stared down at him pleadingly from the Spire. "You ain't from here. You ain't ever seen a Cleaning Season, watched from the wall while everyone you know takes the short drop over the Boy's Field, just cause they're poor and they're easy to nab..."
More faces loomed in his mind. Familiar faces pale with death peeking out of the Boy's Field, half buried in the soft earth. Dirt bellow his finger nails as he dug, mournful ghosts howling around him, angry he'd violate their little sanctuary with the taint of life.
"... when you're stronger than other people, you're suppose ta keep 'um safe." The last word strains hard in his throat, his cold eyes wild as they pour into hers, desperate to catch the glimmer of understanding. To see she knows how important that word is. "Garrison fucks don't understand that. Half the assholes on the street don't either. It's what we've done, y'know? It's what the Pack always did, around here. But what the fuck does it matter if I keep one damn piece of one fuckin' city safe when all the others got kids dangling and screaming on spikes?"
As he speaks, his hand continued to squeeze tighter around hers, until it was nearly crushing. And it trembled.
Selina de Windia: There's a silence after that, and then Selina replies, softly. "The world is full of that, Moon. From Windia to Yane, from Imperial City to the Lap. I've seen the dispossessed get executed, maybe not around here, but plenty elsewhere. And I saw some rich bastard carve up one of the girls in the house I used to live in, and get away with it. Because he had friends in high places, and two Dragon-Blooded for bodyguards."
She looks at him, and nods, turquoise eyes hard. "Yeah, I understand what you mean. And I hate it just as much."
Touching the Walls
As Selina walks up the stairs, leaving Moon changing to go out with Kanti, she is met with... aprehension. The weapons. The clothes. And something... else, about her. A vague feeling of something wrong.
Besides great dark wings framing a black-clad body... all the working girls there eye Selina with suspicion, so different than what she got before, cloaked and near Moon... and although lustful eyes of patrons with girls on their laps come to her, none approach...
They see the knives, they see the rapier, they see the danger.
And, receiving wary glares, but no single word directly to her, Selina gets to the room Kanti and Fiona are staying in...
Selina de Windia: Selina knocks once on the door, twice, just to announce herself, then opens and steps through the portal, looking at her two 'captives'. She's not sure what word to use for them, but shakes her head and sighs, closing the door. "Well, hello." Her turquoise eyes are indifferent, if a bit weary about what's to come. "We have a matter to discuss."
Kanti: Kanti looks up from Fiona at the knocks, gently smoothing her hair down.
"Who is-...Dark Angel." she turns from Fiona and sits up straight on the bed as she steps into the room, posing her body.
...what could we have to discuss?
"What is it that we have to discuss, my lady?" she asks, with barely a tremble in her voice.
Selina de Windia: Lidding her eyes half-way in exasperation, Selina sighs in disgust and sits down on a chair, facing the two of them, not even bothering to sit straight. "Well, for starters, how about this matter of you two thinking I'm some kind of maniac like that empty little whore you call 'mistress'."
Kanti: Mistress isn't empty!
Mistress isn't a whore!
Mistress is warm!
Mistress is kind!
...Mistress left me with you...
Kanti trembles softly before the Dark Angel, though she doesn't relinquish her pose. "You are powerful, Dark Angel ... and the Void speaks through you ....And..." that is just like Mistress. Except that you are cold.
Selina de Windia: "Hmph." The Windian responds, raising an eyebrow at Kanti, glancing to Fiona and back. "And I am a monster and your mistress is not?"
Not that I'm not a monster, in many ways.
"Tell me, Kanti," Selina begins, pausing to snort in derision at the idea that Charmaine would be preferable to her. "Who gave you those scars? And that dress that screams every time someone touches it. With your voice."
Kanti: She shivers again, not liking the Dark Angel's eyes on her.
"Mistress is ... powerful and terrible." you two are so much a like. "...But, she loves us."
The scars...
Kanti's vision goes red once more as she recalls the day she gained those scars, the day she gained this robe, briefly reliving the agonies Mistress, and Maera and her nuns inflicted on her. She gasps.
"Mistress did. Mistress guided every single cut." she looks down. The Dark Angel would probably not like this. "She did so she could love me more." She tries to keep the lift from her voice.
Selina de Windia: "Hmm." Selina hums, looking at Kanti's scars, noting the patterns in them. Necromatic, and not pleasant either. "And I don't love you, is that the difference?"
As if I am supposed to instantly love someone who was trying to take me back to a lifetime of servitude and torment.
"Well then," The assassin begins, crossing one leg over the other, eyeing Kanti's face again as she shakes her head. "Let us examine this love. Explain to me, if you will, why Charmaine could not love you without making you feel such pain. What did you do to her to deserve that, hmm?"
Kanti: No, not just that...
It's not that you don't love us, it's that you don't seem capable of it.
You are cold.
You are ice.
You have no warmth. None.
And I cannot say that to you....
...and how can you examine love?
Kanti says none of these things, trying to keep the questions from her eyes. "I did nothing to her, but that does not matter. She never hurts me more than I could bear, never inflicted more than I could take. She cared for me."
Selina de Windia: "Does not matter?" Selina wags a finger at Kanti and smirks, then lowers the hand back to her lap. "Why is that? Because you want to believe it doesn't? That doesn't obscure the fact that she had no reason."
Wings moving up a bit behind her, Selina continues, voice as neutral as before. "Unless of course, she was hurting you for the sake of hurting you. After enough abuse, why, you will say anything, believe anything, do anything, just to make it stop. To make it go away, to please the tormenter."
Kanti: You really don't understand, do you?
You never will.
And you will never know how much I love Her.
"You do not understand. She doesn't. Not for no reason. She hurt me to help, to help me understand, and She did. Why don't you understand that?" Kanti smiles softly to herself.
Selina de Windia: "Oh." Selina sighs, shaking her head sadly at the sight of Kanti taking pleasure in...that. "And what did she help you understand with that? What tender secret could only be known through the veil of pain, and still call itself tender?"
Kanti: See, you don't understand...
"That she loved me, that even though she might hurt me, that was to help me. To help me please her.To be better for her."
Selina de Windia: "No, I understand." Selina smiles at Kanti, focusing her eyes on the woman, gaze playing over the scars on her face before coming to meet the Dragon-Blooded's eyes. "I see now, that a coward like you will accept anything at all from anyone, so long as you feel this love exists for you to hide in."
She uncrosses her legs, sits up and then leans forward, turquoise eye like those of a bird of prey's as she continues to smile. "So it follows, I merely have to 'love' you as well. It leaves a vile taste in my mouth to sink to Charmaine's level, all the same."
Kanti: No!You don't understand ... not at all ...
It isn't 'love'. I love Her and She loves me. You don't know how to love.
You can't possibly understand what I feel about Her, what She feels about me.
All these thoughts pass through her, as she thinks about what the Dark Anegl said, before she looks down and meekly responds.
"Yes, my lady."
Selina de Windia: "No, not enough." Selina shakes her head, and the smile fades to a smirk. "Tell me, Kanti, did you have a master or mistress before Charmaine?"
Sitting back again, Selina crosses her other leg over the first this time, idly watching Kanti for anything hinting of unease from that question. "Were you a Dynast? Or an Outcaste like me?"
Kanti: Master ...
<i>He who lifted me up.
He who showed me Heaven.
He who showed me the iris blooms.
He who showed me Creation.
He who showed me Darkness.
He who left me there...
"I had a master, yes my lady. He showed me heaven and earth." she says quietly. "I was a Dynast once, when I was very young. Until he took me away from all that."
Selina de Windia: "And did you love him as well, then?" Selina asks, smirk leaving her face, replaced with a bit of open curiosity as she leans forward again, over her crossed legs. "Before all this with the Vestal happened."
Kanti: "Yes, my lady. I loved him." Her voice warming with the recollections, filling with all the years of remembered passion.
I love him still. And hate him
Selina de Windia: "Silly." The Windian says with some amusement, uncrossing her legs and drawing a deep breath, then exhaling. "Well, come over here, Kanti." Selina gestures with a beckoning finger, expression...oddly unreadable for the moment. "Come and sit on my lap, and I'll tell you some things."
Kanti: Silly?
That is why you will never understand.
Kanti looks up at the beckoning finger "Yes, my lady."
She stands easily, walking gracefully over to the dark angel, carefully arranging her cloak on the woman's lap so there is no chance of her robe touching her skin as she sits.
Selina de Windia: Pursing her lips as the smaller woman sits down, Selina looks again at her hair. And lifts a hand, to stroke it, softly. "You know, how can you say I don't understand love, Kanti, when you know almost nothing about me?" She pauses in her speech for a moment, continuing to pet the girl, and feeling the rising disgust within her that she might be doing anything similar to Vestal.
But I won't do the rest.
"I have a child." Her voice is soft and soothing.
Kanti: Kanti trembles softly on her lap, as the Dark Angel starts to stroke her hair, forcing herself to relax, to accept it, to accept the attentions of that terrible, cold woman.
Because you have shown me nothing that shows you even know it exists.
"I'm sorry for doubting you, my lady." she says quietly, still trembling a little with each caress, eyes averted.
Selina de Windia: "Be still, I'm not going to hurt you. The fight was...the fight. It is over now." In the same tone of voice as before, patiently stroking Kanti's hair. "Tell me, what you really think of me, Kanti. I won't hurt you."
Kanti: You are so like Her in some ways...
"Sorry, my lady." Kanti says softly as she wills the shivers away, sitting stock still as she is stroked.
How can I really tell you that?
She swallows softly, then she speaks quietly, keeping her voice steady through sheer will. "You are cold, my lady. You are cold and cruel, and powerful and terrible and beautiful."
You are a monster.
Selina de Windia: "Ah, the ice, I see." Selina replies levelly, stopping her stroking with some fingers buried in Kanti's hair. She feels it, idly, sighing wearily. "I am not warm then. Like her?"
Kanti: Kanti makes the tiniest protesting noise as the fingers stop moving through her hair. She shakes her head.
Selina de Windia: Blinking for a moment, Selina hesitates, then continues to stroke her hair softly, wondering exactly where all this is going to end. She doesn't want to think of how bad the other may be.
"And so, how would we go about fixing that?"
Kanti: Kanti shifts a little as the fingers resume their motion. She still has small tremors passing through her, though she seems to be calming somehow.
"I don't know, my lady."
I don't think you can.
Selina de Windia: "Hmm." Selina hums as she continues to pet Kanti, remembering the times she saw Charmaine.
She can't want me to...
It had been the other -- Fiona, was it? -- with Charmaine during her meeting with Vorpal. Doing those...things.
Yes, apparently she does.
This was going to take a long time. A long time which Selina did not have, and could not make up for.
"Don't know, or..." Her voice remains low and soothing, at least, as much as she can make it. "Just can't? Didn't I say I wouldn't do certain things, unless you asked?"
Kanti: "I don't know my lady. I don't know how you can stop being so cold."
Anything else I could try and help you with.
"It isn't my place to ask, my lady. It is up to you." she keeps her voice very quiet, holding herself still, letting herself be stroked.
An Aside...
((Moon: Hey! *Pushes open the door and steps in* You two ready to... *Stares, turn around, walks out* Just lemme know when you're done. Try not to take too. *Closes the door behind him* Sheeyit, and they say I'm oversexed...))
Myah!
Selina de Windia: Now it's Selina's turn to shiver. She still stroke's Kanti's hair, but the woman...she keeps putting it in her court, the decision to do something.
I'm not like Charmaine!
I'm not!
Sinking a bit deeper into her chair, Selina shudders at the weight of it. Did the girl have no autonomy of her own? How could anyone be like that?!
Seventh Moon: A sudden knock thumped against the door, followed by a sharp whistle. Standing in the hall, Seventh Moon glared at the door. "Hey! You all okay in there?" Moon called quietly through the door, sounding as if he wasn't certain if he should be concerned or annoyed. "Been in a while"
He touched the door knob, but hesitated to turn it. Heck knows what the hell was going on in there. There were some things he wouldn't mind walking in on, but plenty he was pretty sure he didn't want to see. "C'mon, we should get outta here before it gets any later," he tried to sound more cheerful. "Shit's gonna start closing up sooner or later."
Selina de Windia: "Wha? Oh." Selina replies, trying not to be loud. "R-right. We'll be out in a minute or two."
Suppressing the rage that is slowly boiling up inside her, and the frustration and disgust with herself, Selina stops stroking Kanti's hair, after a final pet. Her tone becomes softer. "We'll leave off here, darling."
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