GoldenCat/ObsidianAftermath09

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Triumph and Torment

Alexander: After they leave the Windwraith and the Snow Monkey behind, Alexander escorts Ryshassa into the safety of the Earthen Manse... its solid walls, its feeling of constriction, of safety... telling her of Moon and of the great battle with the dragon Jordiar, his own uncle and the god Kodak... until they arrive into the room Moon is being kept, the scent of incense heavy in the air... as he opens the door, revealing Moon in his bed, chest all wrapped in bandages... and Kanti, there, with him. "Ryshassa Krauser, meet Kanti no Freville. And Seventh Moon, whome we hope you can help..."

Kanti: He's so peaceful when he's like this... Kanti smiles down at the sleeping Moon, gently adjusting his sheets, clad in the smooth, flawless white of the Order, her long black hair bound up in a net to keep it from trailing over her charges as she works.
I wish I could do more for him...
Oh...but my prince is here....
Kanti turns then, a smile on her face.
"Good afternoon, my prin-..."
ryshassa...
So kind...so... pure...
she ... should not see me like this...
Not...scarred as I am...
What will she think...?
What will she say?

Ryshassa and the Prince see Kanti's face, the delicate scars upon it traced in black lines so fine, the collar round her neck not quite as Ryshassa remembers it, now marred with soulsteel, when suddenly she looks down and away, her eyes looking broken just before they flicker out of sight.

Ryshassa: Ryshassa listens to Alexander's stories with great interest. The battles they had waged and weathered in the Boil were easily just as impressive as the one she had survived -- and in some cases, perhaps even more so. And the Boil itself seemed to have suffered for it. So much structural damage to the city -- she feared to imagine who might have been hurt in the process.

But for now she focuses on the task set to her, as well as the anticipation of meeting a woman she had met two years ago, and enjoyed the company of greatly. She steps through the doorway, clad still in her kimono of blue-violet silk embroidered with the silhouettes of dragonflies and bamboo, cinched with a black obi patterned with slender leaves outlined in dark green. Moon looks to her initial view to be more or less stable, if still deeply injured, so when the Prince gives his introduction, her attention focuses primarily on Kanti.

The surname, Ryshassa does not quite remember, and simply files it back into her memory where it belongs. It is her appearance that leaves its impression all the more. She is still the same woman on a purely cosmetic basis -- deep black hair, flame red skin, dark eyes. But in those eyes, she sees a spirit both skittish and shattered. And marring her smooth skin, an alarming crisscross of black scars.

Ryshassa's first instinct is not to ask the questions that run through her mind. No -- she does not wish to bring pain to the forefront if unnecessary. Not now, not yet. She just wants to treat her... like an ordinary woman. So when she stops a few paces short and bows, her greeting is both gentle and lacking in hesitation. "Greetings, Kanti, it is good to see you again. I hope you remember me?"

Alexander: "Oh, so you do know this Kanti!" He says, taking a step back, "What a coincidence!"

Ryshassa: Not the first coincidence either. The Dark Angel that Cael and Alexander had spoken of turned out to be an old acquaintance, as well. "It certainly seems so," Ryshassa comments with a smile.

Kanti: Kanti looks up then, and around showing her face to Ryshassa once more, her eyes looking afraid and as though she's trying to conceal it, so as not to worry the prince.

"Good afternoon, Lady Krausser. It is good to ..see you again, yes." She manipulates her face into a smile for the woman and the prince.

Ryshassa: "Please, call me Ryshassa. I am happy you remember! I have not forgotten you in all this time. If you are here with the Prince we may very well be working together for some time. I hope that would not cause you any trouble. I only wish to help."

Ryshassa's tone is warm and kind, showing no trace of any undue shock or concern she might be feeling at the moment. But inwardly, her heart aches. She looks so nervous. I don't want to frighten her more... She feels another urge rise... the urge to soothe, to heal what troubles her, as little as she may know about it simply by looking. But she pushes it back for now -- though with difficulty -- in favor of the injured one she had been brought here to help in the first place.

"So how is ..." she almost says "the patient" but decides at the last minute to use the name, to seem friendly and familiar and non-threatening. "...Moon? I am sure you have been doing a wonderful job taking care of him yourself. But if I can ease the process, I would gladly do so."

Kanti: "Of..of course, Ryshassa ... I am ... sure you can help." Kanti says with a small nod, apparently having gotten her emotions under control enough that it is only small glances in the corners of her eyes that betray her apprehension, her worry over what Ryshassa might think.

I am hurting her ...just by standing here....
I should not look so hurt....
she should relax...

"Moon ... Moon ..." She speaks the name with more 'warmth' than a strict nurse-patient relationship should allow for.

"I have done all I can for him, Ryhassa ... I try to hold him steady, and I have cured his lesser wounds but ... the ghost he fought, it damaged his essence ... and that is beyond my skill and power."

Ryshassa: Ryshassa notices the tone, and smiles again. How familiar it feels to her, that depth of caring she came to feel for the wounded that came under her care. Though there are many forms of love... Ryshassa loves all life, and that is a love that is integral to her being, but her affection she saves for a select few -- and one in particular. She wonders what sort applies to Kanti at this very moment. After all she too seemed to be one who drew both joy and purpose from helping others.

Even if back then it was Stolen Sunsets she helped, above all. But she was happy then... it feels, much, much more unfortunate to Ryshassa to see that gone now.

"Damage to his Essence..." Is that like what Tahira had done to the goddess I healed at the party earlier? "I can attend to that first, then, and afterwards help with what other injuries he may have sustained. But... how are you, Kanti? I am surprised you are here -- but it is a wonderful surprise, by far. Perhaps when our necessity here is over, I might play for you again..."

Kanti: How am I? How...am I? How am ... I? I...cannot tell her that....

"I am quite happy at present, Ryshassa." she says, in what would have to be a smoothly told lie, unless her whole bearing is a lie. "How have you and your husband been?" She asks the appropriate question back. "But...if you would play for me ... with my prince's leave ...I would greatly enjoy that!"

"But Moon ...I think it must be his essence ... I could heal his body ... or his mind. But ... that is too much."

Alexander: Alexander smiles, "Of course! I would love to. If it would make Kanti happy, then of course you can play for her! And I know how wonderful it is when you play... I have heard it enough to know!" He says, his words pure flattery. "In fact, Kanti could enjoy it without me... she deserves the melody be for her and her alone." He shoots Kanti an encouraging, proud smile.

Ryshassa: I shouldn't have...

It almost feels cruel to have asked her that. Could she truly be happy in that state? It didn't even cross Ryshassa's mind that Prince Alexander might have caused those terrible scars. Was it Damien, then? Was it...? Her eyes find the collar she had worn, the red jade plugged up with soulsteel...

...gods... why? Why?

Ryshassa takes a shuddering breath, gathering her focus. Focus! Moon is the one more immediately endangered, and it is his state of health she focuses her attention on now. Lifting her arms, she finds the ribbons she keeps in the sleeves of her kimono to tie them back and away while she heals, and binds them securely with swift practiced strokes. From the elbows to the tips of her fingers her pale creamy flesh is bared, and she lays her hands carefully upon Moon's still form.

"Please, this will be just a moment," Ryshassa says softly, nodding at both Kanti's words and Alexander's, her voice already growing distant and detached.

Her consciousness shifts. The room and all within it are mere background noise. The pain that resides within Moon's body, every variation and nuance of it, spreads within her like a neural map. Essence flows from her fingertips, through the contact of skin on skin, and she casts herself through it in spirit, letting the currents guide her to the very source of his suffering.

Narrator: She can feel what hangs in him like poison...

Broken souls. Tainted Essence. Sorcerous Essence tainted by necromancy, the raw emotions of broken, ripped souls. The essence of void itself... it clogs the regeneration in his soul, it burns in it with the power of the void, the anti-sun, in ways that are deeper than any terrestrial can touch.It grows pus in his wounds, making for such horrible wounds that refuse to close no matter the magic used... it is the essence of the fallen abomination that he consumed that fills him.

Ryshassa: The Essence of a being of utter darkness. Not merely the shadow of the Sun but what the Sun might be, had it radiated not warmth and light, but cold, black, life-eating despair. The souls ruined to create such a blight are well beyond her ability to reconstruct, but the host of this dread energy Ryshassa may still save.

No.

She must save -- for it is her will and her duty. She must save -- for no one she touches must ever be allowed to suffer. She must save -- to bring a genuine smile onto Kanti's scarred face. If only for a moment... how precious that would be!

So she works, inspired by that desire. It is not an immediately obvious process from the outside. But inwardly it is careful, methodical. Strand after glistening strand she pulls away the dark, hungry Essence which pulses like thick cancerous growths upon the silver that shimmers at Moon's spiritual core. And with each strand thus extracted, more and more of the silver is allowed the space to flow free. Ryshassa feels the tremendous amount of regenerative power contained in Moon's natural Essence and is both amazed and humbled by it.

The necrotic strands themselves cannot be allowed to remain within him. She draws them to her. Into her golden embrace. She consumes them, and with that act of compassion, attempts to neutralize them within her. Phantasmal belladonna blossoms begin to rise up and bloom upon Moon's body, unfurling their gold-veined violet petals as if to absorb the warmth of the sun. And as more and more of the dark Essence is loosened, the blossoms fade from violet to the purest lily white, and begin to transform.

One, ten, hundreds of them, an host of lilies shimmering atop Moon's prone body, stirred as if by a gust of wind into a cloud of petal-wings that dissipate harmlessly away.

Narrator: Moon's body appears to be... clean, then. His face has color once again. His bandages no more stink of the shadows growing in the festering wounds. He is cleaned, body and soul, of the terrible creature he had consumed in his rage...

Ryshassa: Ryshassa takes a deep breath, stepping back... deep relief etched on her face. Every time she attempted healing on such a scale, it worried her -- that it wouldn't be enough. That she'd disappoint those who depend on her. That she'd encounter a condition incapable of being cured no matter her efforts and intentions.

Every time, though... every time so far, she has been blessed. And so, despite all her weariness, Ryshassa smiles radiantly and pronounces, "He should be better now. If he could have lived through that, surely he will recover just fine! Though he would doubtlessly appreciate some help in the process."

Does it make her happy? She wonders if Moon's recovery would make Kanti happy. A little, at least.

Kanti: Kanti looks away once more, as Ryshassa studies her more closely, seeing the effect her appearance is having on the gentle, carring healer woman. And then she looks away, and focuses on Moon ...

...and Kanti can just watch and stare, nly barely able to appreciate the magic Ryshassa is weaving into his body, the way she draws the wounds from the body with far more finesse than Kanti could hope to master, smothering the blackness with golden light.
Could she do that to me?
Would She let her?
...or am I too far gone?

And then the healing is over ... and Moon somehow looks better already
she healed him though!
he's better now...he'll be okay!

Kanti smiles at Ryshassa then, the haunted corners of her eyes ... just that. Small, haunted corners, her face showing joy.

"That ... that was ... thank you, Ryshassa..." for doing what I never could.

Ryshassa: "Oh, you're welcome, Kanti," Ryshassa replies enthusiastically. Did the darkness in Kanti's countenance retreat just a bit? Was that a glimmer of joy?

"I'm just relieved I could help. The feeling I get when I'm able to embrace and take away the suffering of another, it's just... indescribable. I know no greater happiness, no greater sense of purpose than that. It's not something many people understand though..." She laughs softly, a self-conscious blush appearing on her pale cheeks. "I mean, to find such joy through sacrifice... to be satisfied enough that my efforts mean someone else may live healthy and free and unburdened."

"Do you think that strange?" Ryshassa asks curiously, as she continues to look over Moon.

Kanti: "Not at all, Ryshyssa."

"That is not odd in the slightest." Kanti replies, honestly. It was not her place to comment on her better's habits, after all ... even though the Dark Angel sorely pushed that with her ... eating habits.

Ryshassa: "I see..." Ryshassa says, wondering whether the answer was merely the polite one.

She turns to Kanti now, looking her over. Standing together near Moon, they are close enough to touch if she but reaches her hand out. Those scars. Would they heal if she touched them? What depth of suffering roiled beneath that mask of modesty and manners?

"D..do they hurt?" is what Ryshassa asks next -- against her better judgment perhaps. But she cannot help but want to heal if she might conquer pain with her touch. It is engraved upon her very nature -- engraved upon her soul -- the desire to heal what is broken.

"The scars, do they hurt you? If I can help you... in any way... but only if you wish it," she is sure to add, her tone soothing and non-insistent. "I would like you to be at ease with me. Like before..."

Kanti: Kanti fights the urge to look away, to hide behind Moon or behind her prince as Ryshassa studies her, seeing all her scars, beng horrified by them, by her. What else could she be?

"They don't hurt ... except.."
Except when he burns me with his light.
Except when he shows me to be a small, dark thing.
Except when it feels wonderful.
"They ... they don't hurt now."

"I..." she looks down briefly, "..I do not think you can (should) help me."

"I'm sorry ... I will try to be more at ease with you Ryhassa. I'm sorry ... it is me, not you."

Ryshassa: Seeing the reaction play out in Kanti's speech and demeanor, Ryshassa feels... sad. Not sorry for her, because pity would be demeaning. Just sad.

"If that is what you believe, perhaps I should not press you further. But I have yet to try. I am... not an ordinary sort of healer." Withdrawing gradually a few paces, she retrieves her lyre from the white leather case she keeps close to her more often than not.

"Perhaps this will make it less unnerving for you," the healer murmurs, plucking the orichalcum strings in a lovely arpeggio. Not a song yet really; just a practice run, a potential introduction. Even then, the notes still shimmer with a gentle power, the strings inclined towards amplifying emotions and sensations of a comforting, somnolent sort.

"Unless... you truly do not wish to be helped? If you are content as you are, I apologize for assuming you might not have been..."

Kanti: Kanti closes her eyes, to the soothing tones of the Lyre as they wrap her in a comforting shell.

"I... don't think you can." is all she says, once more .... and then Ryshassa's magic reveals so much more.

so so much more.

There is the part of her ...the Garda Bird ... that wants to be free of its chains, to fly free and to fly true.
There is the part of her ....the Immaculate Whore ... who sees the chai-...no, the ... adornments as a labour of love, something that makes her beautiful and loved, a sign she is protected.
There is the part of her ... the dancer, the killer .... who does not understand the idea of healing, of pain, does not understand the answer Ryshassa's magic pulls from it. There is the part of her ... the penitant .... that knows she is twisted and broken and that she deserves all of that pain.
There is the part of her ....the healer ... who fears of Ryshassa, fears that she will be tainted, that the void will spread to her.
There is the part of her ... the servent .... who wishes to be pure, that she might better please the prince.
There is the part of her ....the courtesan ... who wishes to be scarred, that she might better please the prince.

Ryshassa: The healer keeps her eyes focused on the lyre, showing her face deeply concentrated on her fingering, so as not to reveal that she has discovered anything more than what Kanti wished to say aloud.

So many facets of the very same woman. It surprises Ryshassa at first that the Prince features so prominently in her thoughts. So Moon is a good friend, and the Prince her new master?

The other fragments of thought are even more revealing. So she wants her freedom. Yet she enjoys to serve. She enjoys pain as pleasure. But also as punishment. And she fears... for me.

This will be complicated...

Despite her musings, Ryshassa's fingers do not hesitate in bringing to bear her impromptu performance. It is an elemental cycle she coaxes from the strings, one embellished and built upon from an old Dynastic lullaby.

So she plays, and the notes are the meandering of a stream by moonlight.
So she plays, and the notes are the rustle of a breeze through new spring leaves.
So she plays, and the notes are the trees themselves, noble and patient and calm.
So she plays, and the notes are the dark and nurturing embrace of the earth.
So she plays...

...and the notes are fire, a slow-burning and meditative flame, cradling Kanti's heart with soothing and familiar warmth.

"Might you leave us together, Prince Alexander?" Ryshassa asks softly, as she deftly weaves her lullaby to keep Kanti calm and unafraid.

Alexander: He watches them together... and fears a bit. Wonders what is the worry... wonders why...

He walks towards Ryshassa, a hand on her shoulder. "Please, take good care of her. Please, be nice to her."

The hand leaves her shoulder, goes up to Kanti, kissing her forehead. "Anything worries you, Kanti, you call me. Please."

And with that, he turns arond, and slowly, walks out of the room...

Kanti: Kanti lets the music wrap around her...
...lets herself follow the stream...
...lets herself listen to the wind in the leaves...
....lets herself know the trees....
...lets herself know the deep earth...
....lets herself be wrapped up in the flames....
...flames....

....flames that burst with a momentary panic as the woman asks the prince to leave her, asks to be alone with her ....eyes pleasing to the prince, pleas unseen...

...and then the flames are clam, and warming, and full of warmth and his lips are on her forehead, and she calms, and she nods, and she waits.

Ryshassa: Ryshassa nods to the Prince as he addresses her before departing, wondering whether he actually believes her capable of hurting Kanti. "I will," she tells him simply, her fingers still strumming at her lyre.

I only wish to help what I believe I may help.

And now she and Kanti are alone with Moon's sleeping form. "Please... I do not mean to frighten you. The Prince cares for you --" or I believe he does. And I do not think Alexander capable of the sort of manipulation others have subjected you to. "And he will continue to do so no matter what happens here. He is pleased by you, of that I am certain."

But am I doing the right thing? Inwardly Ryshassa feels her stomach flutter with apprehension. But she does not show it in her motions nor her face. Her melodious voice takes an almost lyrical cadence as she continues to speak, her music still holding Kanti enthralled.

"I do not wish to take from you that which you are. I believe you enjoy to please others, and I understand that. I believe you want the safety and security of being owned. I believe you enjoy pain, sometimes, and that in itself is not a terrible thing."

"I, too, suffer for the sake of others. But I do so with a purity of intent. I believe you, too, still hold purity inside you no matter how tainted you believe you have become. Your desire to help others, your desire to make them happy, these are good things that resonate within you."

"What I believe is tormenting you the most is that -- somehow -- you have been made to believe that pain is also a deserved punishment. Pain, I believe, can be administered with love. Some people... myself included..." Ryshassa says this with a distinct flare of color on her pale cheeks "...enjoy to be dominated by a lover because it brings them comfort to know they have a place to belong."

"But you should be able to choose who you wish to be owned by. And he who owns you should be mindful of your threshold of tolerance. Otherwise it is not love but torture. And no one--no one who can love and care as deeply as you do deserves that."

"I wish to help you..." Now Ryshassa deigns to approach Kanti again, in slow, unthreatening steps, her fingers dropping slowly from the lyre. "I want to heal that which has made you so ashamed of yourself. That which has brought you such anguish that you would believe you deserve to suffer."

Again she stands close, close enough to touch, but even then, her fingers hesitate inches away. "I wish to see it... so I may liberate you of it." A deep breath, and once again, the question:

"Will you allow me to try? Just once?"

Kanti: Pain.
Love.
Torture.
Owned.
Happiness.
Blackness.

she sees so much ... even without touching ... maybe she can help.
she sees so much ... even without touching ... she can't see any more.
she sees so much ... even without touching ... does he see this much?
she sees so much ... even without touching ... does she already know?
she sees so much ... even without touching ... what will she think?

"No...no....no..." she takes a step backwards, towards Moon. "You ...you can't ..." Her dark eyes show fear and warniness ... and a question, a hope ... and a terror.
Can you?
Can you heal me?
Can you heal me after you've seen all I did?
Can you heal me after you've seen all I did and loved?
Can you heal me after you've seen all I did and loved and hated?

Can you?

Ryshassa: The healer sees the fear first and foremost, and it is nearly enough to pull her back. Perhaps it is better to leave it be. Perhaps she would be better off not knowing.

She looks so afraid --

-- I don't want her to be afraid of me --

Ryshassa stands so close it is almost unbearable not to touch her. She can feel it -- feel those waves of self-loathing and shame emanating from Kanti, apprehension and even lust, yes, lust for what she should not have loved. Whatever pulses so blackly and dolorously in Kanti's heart, she has left herself just vulnerable enough, just willing enough despite her fear, for Ryshassa to reach out her hands and cup that trembling aching crying screaming orgasmic darkness in her palms.

Not to smother it, but to soothe it, to reassure it -- like a frightened bird cradled in the nest of her fingers -- reassure Kanti that it is all right to accept what she has done, what she has become, without believing one deserves to suffer.

Alexsei, what should I do? What should I do--?

The threshold hovers before her. The air between the two women feels so thick it is almost palpable, every minute vibration easily felt, every second going off like a miniature explosion in Ryshassa's heart.

"Kanti, whatever happens, do not blame yourself. If I cannot help you now... if I have trespassed your privacy... you have every right... to despise me."

And with that Ryshassa takes that last step seperating the two of them, and wraps Kanti into the warmth of her embrace. The threshold stretches -- a membrane thinner than a butterfly's wing -- and shatters, sending the healer's spirit diving...

diving...

...diving deep into the blackness at the core of Kanti's flames.

Kanti: The first thing Ryshassa sees, is that there is no deep, black core.
The blackness is coiling down from the scars on her skin, coiling inwards, chains of ebon, chains of void, all through the flames.

Shame. Fear. Hope. Love. Hate. Joy. Terror. Pleasure. Pain. Wonder. Horror. Lust. Calm. Below the surface, the emotions slam into Ryshassa with roaring force of a bonfire.

Images.
Betrayed. Alone. Hate. Guilt. Abandoned by her love.
Calling out for the darkness, for the pain, for the pleasure, for her own damnation. A demon smiles.
Between a pair of shapely legs, worshipping with her lips, with her tongue, loving the monster.
A romance of flashing steel and burning incense, a love affair that ends in death.
Fingers within her, driving her on, driving her up. Self lost in darkness, in light.
Flame red hands, blood red hands. The girl before her pleading, begging. She moves the knife again. More screams from sarah.
Hatred, black and twisted ... looking at the one she loves.
Storm clouds, dark wings, void wings. Void. Another betrayal. A new mistress.
Holding Fiona close. A message in the darkness, hands on her. Fiona whimpers, Fiona burns.
Clocktower, dancing, a revelation ... lies to her mistress.
Dark Angel, Fiona, void wrapped. Crying out for pleasure. Fleeing.
Selina, devouring a corpse, defiling the dead, doing nothing.
Necromancy, Ghosts, twisted up together. Nothing to save them.
Demons, Lovers, Twins. Dance. Love. Pleasure. Pain. Betrayal.
Healing the Demon, hiding, set her free.
Terror. Dark Angel. Guilt. Guilt.
Party. Gennadi. Backhand. Deserved.
Prince. Garden. No permission. Flames burn the Darkness. Me. Thrills.
Party. Goddess. Impropriety.
Prince. Kneeling. Pleasuring. Begging.
Moon. No help for Moon.
Pleading for Flames. Flames come. Flames Burn. He's pleased.
Alex. Pleas. Anger. Punishment. Thrusting. Use. Holy. Abuse. Pleasure. Ownership. His. Dark. His.
Ryshassa. Caring. Guilt. Fear.

Waiting ...

Waiting...

Ryshassa: There's too much at once. Thus there is no simple solution.

No center with which to unravel the rest of the pain and make it disappear.

They are chains. Chains made of scars. Chains made of memories. Memories of betrayal and guilt, pleasure and punishment, terror and anguish... acceptance... hatred... shame.

Ryshassa sees the image of Damien, leaving Kanti behind. The anguish of abandonment. The acceptance of damnation for having not been worthy to stay with him. The malevolent image of the woman which took up her ownership. Making Kanti hurt others. Making Kanti shame herself. Making Kanti love it.

Loving and hating he who brought her to this. Leaving guilt for herself.

Then that woman is gone. But another replaces her -- Aine? the Dark Angel? Another figure to fulfill her thirst for the darkness, her obsession with it. Damned. Damned by the first betrayal, the first of many sins. Unable to protest the sins of others, for she has no right. She is Owned.

And then the Prince. Would Kanti simply be passed from one hand to the next? Why does he punish her as well? Why does he propogate the guilt -- or is this his attempt to absolve her of it? Again and again. More and more reasons to come back to the darkness. A cycle without end -- when would it end?

Why?

Ryshassa cannot simply wipe these memories from her. They are interconnected. They are part of her. They are not a mere sickness or blight -- they are lines after lines of criscrossed pain laid over one another over time. Removing one would not remove the others. Removing them all would render Kanti unrecognizable. And the source was not simply inward but outward as well. The influence of others, so many others, asserting themselves upon her.

Why must you suffer so? You are the one who was wronged! Tears shimmer into belladonna winged butterflies, alighting upon chains of curdled black. Why must you be ashamed of yourself when it is others who have shamed you? The petals unfurl, bleeding lily-white and gold, dwarfed by the weight of those chains. Why must you bear such a burden when it isn't even your fault?!

Engulfed in a firestorm of emotions and memories, Ryshassa does not yield. She does not let go. She forces herself to witness it all. She holds Kanti tightly to her as her tears rain petals upon pitch black scars. All she can do is accept it. All she can do is love and accept all that Kanti has become!

This is my purpose. I cannot fail. This is my purpose I cannot fail. I cannot fail. Cannot. Fail!

Narrator: Ryshassa begins to take it... and it is crushing.

And then, there is something, something in the depths of the emotions.
Shadows.
Void.
Burning Silence.

It is within the flames, and lashes out towards Ryshassa. The scarsbegin to appear on her flesh, the blue-violet burning on its forms, the dragonflies flying away through it as the fabric burns and ripples like Ryshassa flesh...

Ryshassa looks at the Void...
... and the Void looks at her.

Ryshassa: And it all comes back to pain.

It is not an unlikely occurrence. For Ryshassa healing has always meant pain. But it has always been sympathetic pain. It has not merely been to hurt for hurting's sake, but to take upon herself the burden of what others suffer.

The pain she had expected, though -- it was nothing like this. Focused on Kanti's suffering, the Void within the flames simply takes her by surprise.

And it burns her alive.

She screams... there is no way to hold it back. The scars branding into her skin. The scars branding into her soul. Is this the only way she can help Kanti? To bear those black marks in her place? To be the new receptacle of this taint?

She does not yet let go. But her screams fill the room, and echo into the corridors beyond, her lips torn and bleeding with her futile effort to hold them in.

Kanti: No...no...stop hurting her...

Get away....get out... stop being hurt for me....

Kanti pleads in a small voice within her own mind, trying to push against the darkness, and against the healer, trying to push one in, back, deep again, trying to push the other out, push it away to stop it from hurting more for her.

Charmaine: What do we have here?

The voice is deep, amused, on the darkness beneath her soul.

From the other side of the Void, a figure notices Ryshassa. From deep within it....
She sees Ryshassa, who came so deep on Kanti’s soul... and reaches for her.

And the figure appears. The nun, clad in heavy, livid robes, her tall, busty figure showing even through them. Made of the shadows and the flames, hair and eyes of the deepest scarlet of flame... and looking at the healer with desire.

Looking into my Immaculate Whore's soul? Wishing to push it into yourself? The hurt?

Silly.

She laughs, as chains of black fire hold Ryshass's neck, Ryshassa's wrists, burning...

This is sorcery, dear. This is Necromancy. This is more than just wounds... there is a spell in those wounds. And it cannot be 'healed'. Because it is not a wound, something cut away, silly. It is something added. My gift to my favorite, loved little whore.

Kanti: ...

...

...

...

Mistress!

...stop hurting her ... please...

Charmaine: Ryshassa's kimono in tattered remains now, burnt, the scars spreading, Charmaine pushes Ryshassa's... soul? Body? Why was it so hard to know which it was?.. she pushed it closer by the chains, the burning form touching Ryshassa between her legs, burning with pain... burning with sin, with the void, that sin that is so good, so forbidden, so defiling. And as she does so, shards of Kanti appear around the three women.

Of Kanti in pain.
Of Kanti in ecstasy.
Of Kanti pleading for pain.
Of Kanti begging for pleasure.
Of Kanti loving both, as one.

My silly little Saint... don't you see? She will learn to like it as you did.

Ryshassa: Ryshassa still grips Kanti even though she is pushed back -- held at arm's length, but still trying, still straining to hold on, both physically and spiritually.

Her screams continue... but through them... a sense of purpose.

But Kanti -- you shouldn't have to suffer all alone!

And then -- the woman from Kanti's fragments of memories, who had taken Kanti from Damien. This was not a mere memory. The woman's presence was overwhelming. Suffocating. Absolute. Ryshassa lets out a ragged, strangled sound as the loops of fire circle her, but still she stares up at that perfect, incandescent figure, and she cries out --

You've already done enough! For what purpose have you spelled her? Why...why don't you just let her go?!

Charmaine: The hand moves down, and continues to burn Ryshassa... pleasure there, and pain from the chains, from what Kanti pours on her body. That void, that shadow... it is what is on Kanti, and what is burning on Ryshassa... something that stretches all the way to her mistress.. who could see Ryshassa from her end. And touch her.

Why? Because she is mine. And I hold to what is mine. I do not let it go. I will have her back... together with Miriana.. As she says this, she leans closer, a whisper on the ear... And you, pehaps? As for why I spelled her... because she is needed. She is the key my dear. Heavenly and Earthly, Saint and Sinner... which better key? The pleasure, the sinful, evil pleasure overloads Ryshassa with the pain as she speaks of a key, drowning her senes...

Kanti: Please ... let her go ...
let her go.
let. her. go.
let. her. go.

And with that she pushes.
Pushes with all the strength her body has left.
Pushes with all the strength her mind has left.
Pushes with all the strength her soul has left.
LET GO!

Ryshassa: The key?

The ....key...?

Ryshassa tries to comprehend this new sliver of information but it is already too late. All further thought vanishes in a haze of ...pleasure. Slick sable sinuous slithering sensual shameful pleasure. From the flames surrounding her neck and wrists, it spreads outward, a roiling, bubbling, hot surge of warmth and need and... yes... yes.... YES... dipped in the blackest of depravity.

She is handcuffed and leashed. Visions of a past she had been ashamed to live yet lived it to the hilt. Lived it so her existence might have purpose. If she could do nothing else she would please others. She would be used to please others. Leashed and pushed down so that the collar chokes. So that her head is jerked back by the hair, gripped by unseen hands. It did not matter who. It did not matter how many would defile her that night. Pinches, shackles and clamps. Bruises and blood. Semen and juices.

YES

She wanted it. Yes, she enjoyed it! And she did her job well. She always -- ALWAYS wanted to do her job well. She HATED it and she loved it with all of her being. For it was her purpose.

I'm sorry Alexsei. Can you see? Can you see that is what I always have been--?

The last she sees is Charmaine's face gazing triumphantly over her. And then Kanti gives one last powerful, desperate shove -- and the contact is severed. Severed... and Ryshassa lays upon the ground, drenched in sweat, shuddering with revulsion for the lust that had culminated inside her.

Alexander: The contact is severed, and Charmaine screams as she returns to the depths... to the other side of the tunnel of shadows within Kanti. The screams fill the air as the prince rushes into the room, slamming the door open, worried as he walks in... and sees it. Kanti burning... and Ryshsassa... her clothes burnt, herself cut.. soaked... drenched in sweat.... and laying quivering on the ground, the way she had seen Kanti do. Just like Kanti.. after... him. "What did you do to her?"

He is not sure which one he is talking to.

Kanti: "...My prince?" She looks up at him weakly, her face looking dazed, pained, the scars twisting and writhing still, in the aftermath of the power that had surged through them.

I ... she...saw everything. She hurt her.... She hurt her because of me...

"Ryshassa! ...Ryshassa ... are you ... I'm sorry." She turns to touch the woman, to try and do something for her burns ... then she stops. What if She came again? What if She burned her more.

Kanti kneels there, and doesn't know what to do.

Ryshassa: It takes a while before Ryshassa even finds the voice to speak with. "I... I....."

She swallows, to clear her throat, a pause to clear her thoughts -- in which she realizes with swift suddenness that she is completely nude. Vulnerable. Deeply self-conscious, she manages to rise to her knees, clothed only in her hair, her arms wound round her breasts.

"Prince... I... I wanted to try to help her," Ryshassa begins shakily. "Before, when I first met Kanti... it had been so different. So much in her had changed... I wanted to know. I wanted to relieve her of what made her suffer."

She gazes up at Kanti... "It was my ...my choice. I'm sorry if I've done you wrong by trying."

"But these... ...my wounds will heal. I ...I am more sad that I could not help you... like I wanted to..."

Ryshassa chokes back a sound that sounds like a sob. Her voice never seems to quite stop shaking. But she would not dare speak of what she felt in those final moments in contact with that woman. And the remnants of it still smoldered in her. Smoldered and resonated in her.

Kanti: she is in such pain ...
I know just how that feels ...
I know what they feel like ... to be burned on your skin...
so many people I hurt....

"Can ... I help that .. if I can?" she asks, her voice small and hesitant.

Alexander: Alex takes a few steps foward... his hands shaking... wishing to come over Ryshassa's shoulders, but... but... he wished to console her sadness, but stopped. There was something else... on the sweat. On the way she quivered, even in the way she sobbed. He wanted to hold her, but at the same time something about her made him feel like he should just turn around embarassed...

"Ryshasa... I..."

Ryshassa: "If it makes you feel better," Ryshassa says to Kanti, "then... please do... but I would also get better with a little bit of rest..."

She tries to smile, though her lips are cut and bleeding. But her eyes reflect something else... more subdued... ashamed.

"I'm sorry to concern you, Alexander. If I could at least have something to wear... that would help, as well."

Kanti: Kanti approaches her hesitantly, gentle presses her hands to the woman's side, afriad that She will leap out of her again, will hurt her when she is trying to help ... ...but no vestal is forthcoming, and so Kanti concentrates on her healing, weaving viridian essence through the woman's pale flesh, burns fading to bruises, a hesitant look for approval, from either of the two solars in the room.

Needed approval.

Alexander: He walked up to Kanti, touching her hair, caressing her... "Well done, Kanti. Just... relax now. Please. You two... just relax. It was not your fault..." rehearsed words, he barely understood what was going on, but... "Kanti,, you know where can I find a dress for lady Krauser?"

Ryshassa: It does feel better. The pain fades to a dull ache. How strange that Ryshassa is so unused to be healed herself. For now she accepts it, quietly, and she gives Kanti a small smile that is now bruised rather than cut.

Kanti: Kanti relaxed a little, as the prince carressed her, reassured her.

"I will go and fetch her one, my prince. I won't be long."

She rises then, and walks quickly from the room, concealing from her walk and the two solars the hurt she has suffered herself.

Ryshassa: Ryshassa lets out a soft sigh, as Kanti departs briefly. "It's no use... I didn't want her to feel guilty, but how can I blame her? If I had been her, I might feel the same way. But Alexander, it really isn't her fault I'm hurt like this. I just tried to help her, and ultimately... failed. You'll remind her of that, won't you?" She remembers the images in Kanti's mind. The anger. The abuse. Holy light. Burning darkness. Possession. "But please don't be so... hard on her. Shame taken to such an extent is not good for her at all."

She feels, deep inside, the sting of knowing she spoke such hypocricy, but does not allow it to show on her face.

Alexander: Don't be so hard on her......

"H... har... hard?" He asks, as if he was unsure of what she was talking about. But he knew. He knew all too well. "I... I don..." He begins to say, then swallows it, having stepped away from her unconsciously, looking away...

"She told you what I did...?" He asks, his voice filled with shame.

Ryshassa: "No words needed to be said. She spoke nothing. I... saw. It is not her fault." Ryshassa repeats, truly wanting Kanti not to be burdened with yet another weight of guilt. "If anything, it is mine -- for daring to look. I... didn't understand all of what I saw in her mind. It was very disjointed. I would not judge your actions purely on that. But... please... I've seen so much of what hurts her inside. She suffers so... do not allow her to suffer any more than she has to."

That is about all Ryshassa can muster herself to say on the subject for the moment. "Though I did discover at least one potentially useful thing, about the scars. That they are spelled... a Necromancy spell... and they tie her to... that woman. The nun, the... she..." Her voice shakes so much that she has to take a deep breath before continuing. "She mentioned that Kanti is the key. For what I have no idea... I intend to ask the Dark Angel about it, when there is time."

Alexander: "I... will not. I promised not to. That I would protect her. Keep her safe."

"This nun... she loves her. She really loves her... and I need to keep her safe. From herself..."

He holds himself, still looking away from Ryshassa...

"A key... so the scars... she is to be used for something? We have to keep Kanti away from them..." He says as he walks closer to Moon, seeing how he looks healthier... "You had some luck with him, at least?"

Ryshassa: Good... then... whatever I had seen with him and Kanti... perhaps he will not do it again. I hope he will not.

Will he?

Ryshassa nods, her eyes following Alex as he moves towards where Moon lies, still undisturbed after all that has transpired in this room. "Yes... The dark Essence he had consumed is gone now, so he should be able to regenerate normally, though Kanti or I could speed up the process if need be."

Kanti: Kanti returns to the room then, a large dress folded carefully over her arms, one that she hesitates just a little before unveiling.

"I'm .. sorry I couldn't find anything like your ... beautiful kimono ... but I think this should fit you ... if you like it."

She lets the dress fall out then, quite heavy fabric, black and purple, well suited to the North. The skirt replete with many folds of fabric, the top elegantly embroidered, with large, puffed, laced-trimmed shoulders. She also seems to have obtained some underthings, in purple silk.

She nervoulsy awaits the solar's reactions once more.

Alexander: Alex watches Kanti from Moon's side, shooting her a smile... somewhat embarassed from going towards her, right now.

But wishing to... wishing for her to say all they did was not a mistake, again...

Ryshassa: Ryshassa turns her head, seeing Kanti enter again. Seeing the dress... dark colors, so elegant and of the most exquisite lace and fabric. Indeed it is not one of her kimono, but those Alexsei always brought to her, from the divine seamstresses of Heaven...

Alexsei... did he feel... what I felt then? Her hand worriedly rubs the ring encircling her finger, but for Kanti she musters a grateful smile.

"Oh, Kanti -- no, it is perfect, it is beautiful, I love it." She needs not act to show her enthusiasm, for it is true and genuine. Fashion was one of those irresistable topics that could bring her out of any low mood -- at least for a little while. "Though I would... ah... not mind some privacy, to dress myself," she adds apologetically, her eyes sliding more to Alexander than to Kanti, though she imagined the two of them might have a lot to speak about alone. Moon, on the other hand, is still unconscious -- or so Ryshassa hopes he is, anyway.

Alexander: "Of course, Ryshassa! We would be more than happy, right, Kanti?" The prince walks accross the room, so impatient he takes a little jump, flutttering his wings a bit to land next to Kanti, encircle her waist with his hand, and begin to walk away... keeping her close. Warming him. Remembering this was right... and helping her. Shining in his golden light. Showing her she deserves it... deserves the light, the warmth, as they leave Ryshassa behind with Moon...

"Are you alright, Kanti?"

Ryshassa: As soon as Ryshassa is left to herself, holding the dress Kanti brought in her arms, she does not put it on right away. She holds the fabric to her, as tightly as she had held Kanti before, and begins to shake. No tears, no sobbing now, only trembling and rocking back and forth on her heels until the feeling of utter revulsion resides.

It takes longer than she had imagined it would.

Only then does she stand... and slowly dons the garment, looking so much like a woman in mourning in that heavy, ornate gown, the dark colors stark against her pale skin.

I hope Kanti will still want to talk to me after this... She fingers the rich fabric, gazing towards the doorway through which where Kanti and Alexander disappeared. I hope she will not blame herself again. If so, perhaps I can still help her... given time.

Kanti: Kanti leans close to the prince, leans into his warmth and his light and his presence and his power and draws strength from them, comfort. She lets him guide her from the room, away from Moon and Ryshassa.

I...
No.
Yes.
I saw Her again.
I saw Her again.

"..Yes, my prince. .... I am alright ... I ... wish I had not hurt her so...helped her be hurt..."

Alexander: He guides her to one of the living rooms, sitting on a couch with Kanti holding her to him... it was better like this, since walking with her kept making him remember how much taller she was... holding her to his chest, kissing her hair, wreathing both in warm sunlight. "It was not your fault. It was whatever is inside you... and next time, I am not leaving you alone. Next time, I will be helping her to take it out of you. To cleanse you."

"I told you I would keep you safe... and I will... now, just relax. Just relax... Moon is fine. Everything will be fine."

"I promise."

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