GoldenCat/TalkinAboutFate
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Talkin' About Fate
Cael had been thinking about things ever since he woke after the discussion with Ryshassa, and resolves to seek out Alexsei and find out some answers from the enigmatic "Chosen of Saturn." as he called himself...
Cael walked easily through the corridoors of the Zephyr to where Calisara had said the man was.
He knocked twice, and waited for an answer.
Alexsei: Absorbed in the book he is reading, Alexsei does not immediately notices the sharp rap on the door. Ah yes, sir Cael was supposed to meet me here today... I suppose it will be time for him to ask questions he has been wanting to ask for a while. Shaking his head to clear the thoughts that were wandering through his mind, he turns to the door, closing his book and resting it on his knees.
"Yes, please come in!", he lets out, leaning back in the chair and waiting expectantly.
Cael: Cael palms the door open then steps into the room.
He seems almost like he's prepared for a visitor of some kind...
"Good day to you, Alexsei. Would now be a convenient time for a talk? ... if not, I can return later, of course." he says smoothly, remaining standing by the door for the moment.
Alexsei: Smiling at his visitor, Alexsei motions to the empty chair besides him, nodding slowly. "It would be, indeed, mister Pattona. I admit I was expecting you to come to seek me at one point, because I understand there are some... points you would want to clarify. And with the current situation, it was a bit difficult to do so."
He chuckles slightly, reseating himself before adjusting his glasses. "But I am getting ahead of myself, of course. Why don't you sit here and tell me what was on your mind, Cael."
Cael: "Cael, please." Cael notes with a smile as the door slides shut behind him, walking gracefully across the floor before settling himself in a chair across from Alexsei.
You were expecting me, eh? That is not too suprising I suppose...
"Of course. Though there is no hurry...I hope that your wife is well this morning and you finding your room in the Zephyr pleasant?" Cael speaks easily, certainly willing to wait a while for the sake of politeness and of being a good host.
Alexsei: Smiling at his host, Alexsei has trouble hiding his enthusiasm at the mention of the First Age ship. "Oh of course, Cael. Ryshassa was well this morning, resplending like her usual self. And the trip has been nothing but pleasant."
He takes a moment to observe around, taking in the beauty of the masterfully crafted vessel. "This is truly a wondrous ship, Cael. I could spend an eternity trying to observe it and learn the secrets of its construction, and there would still be many things I could not understand..." He turns back to the WindWraith, holding his hands together on the smooth surface of the book placed in his lap.
"But you probably have many tihngs to ask about, and I do not blame you. Many occurences must be strange or obscure to you." He pushes the spectacles up the bridge of his nose, tilting his head slightly. "I will answer your questions truthfully, Cael. This is the least I can do in exchange for your help..."
Cael: "Calisara will be most pleased at the complements you pay her." He says with a smile, feeling proud of the ship and of Cal, glad that Alexsei could find joy "When times are a little quieter, you should ask her for a proper tour."
"Forgive me if I push too deeply, though I will try to start off with the easy questions." he grins. "What are you? You said you were Chosen of Saturn, and from your power you are evidently an Exalt but ... I was not aware the maidens had Exalts. I suppose this in one thing I am in error about?"
Alexsei: Leaning back in the chair, Alexsei gazes at the man in front of him, visibly in thought, but showing no signs of discomfort at the Cael's question. "I suppose this is the root of everything, this whole question. 'What are you, exactly?' This opens up a lot of other points you will undoubtedly want to clarify, but I will try to be concise as much as I can."
He takes a moment to consider, then continues on. "You also have to realize that for what I am about to tell you, I will attract the unaproval of my brethren. They will disapprove of my telling you, but I have already taken my own path and am not seen very well by many of them anyway." He crosses his hands in front of his mouth, his brow furrowing slightly as he ponder where to start. "To answer your question, yes, the Maides do have Chosen. Just like the Unconquered Sun and Luna. But our role in Creation is more subdued, and the Chosen themselves have taken steps to make sure they are not brought to the forefront. I am one of those, Cael. I am a Chosen of Saturn, the Maiden of Endings."
Cael: Cael regards the man with interest as he speaks of such interesting things...
"I see." If the existance of a whole new type of Exalts shocks Cael, he does not show it, and he makes no comment about the dissaproval this might bring. If Alexsei was willing to speak, he would listen. "And what exactly is it that 'you' do? In the more broad sense of the chosen of the maidens...since I get the impression from your comments you live an atypical life for one of your brethern..."
Alexsei: Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, Alexsei takes a deep breath before continuing on. "We... are the guardians of fate, Cael. The maidens created us to make certain that Creation would run its course without being hampered. Threats like the rise of the Malfeans, the great war against the wyld... All of these and more threaten destiny, and that is our duty to keep them from doing so."
"As you might suspect, the Chosen were organized in different..."units", if you will. All have a separate purpose, related to the Maiden they serve. Now, you ask about my own duties, related to the fact I exalted as a servant of the Maiden of Endings. Well..." He removes his glasses, glancing at them and carefully buffing the fragile glass with his sleeve. "We Chosen of endings are to make sure all things that need to go eventually go, to make place for a new thing to take it's place. We were nicknamed the Gardeners, and that is precisely what our duty is about. Cutting some branches of the tree when they go rotten, and let new ones sprout in their places."
Inspecting the glasses for any more traces of dirt, he finally replaces them on his nose before adressing Cael again. "As for me... I am atypical in my beliefs, and my way of executing my duties in creation. This attracts the wrath and disapproval of the other Chosen. Let us just say that I am not so inclined to manipulate people as some of my brethren are." He pauses for a moment, chuckling slightly. "I suppose I could go into more detail as to how these beliefs are different, but I would not want to bore you to sleep or extrapolate on things you would not want to know."
Cael: Gardeners, eh? And the people were the garden?
"And what exactly decides when and who is ...cut?" he asks curiously. The concept did not sit entirely well with him, but then he was not adverse to ending lives that needed ending, and well, he had no guidance in determining that he supposed as he considered it more.
"But still .. while I know I do not know everything, I am not an unlearned man and yet I have heard nothing of you ... where do you hide yourselves? And how? Part if it must come from the manipulations you mention your brethern perform, but there must be more than that, surely?"
Alexsei: He nods slowly to Cael, having heard the same concerns before.
From his very mouth.
"It's easy to see our work as this. But you have to keep in mind that lives are not the only things that end, Cael. Ideas, concepts, eras, reigns... All of these are entities are a born and die. We are not only a group that decides who is to die... There is much more at stake. I see things on a grander scale than merely seeing the first degree, and seeing only mortal life as things that can end. I am one who respects all life, and would have had... qualms about being some sort of murderer with a purpose, to be honest. But there are other things for me to oversee, more abstract endings that must me brought forward for Creation to continue unhindered."
He nods to the man, acknowledgeing his affirmation. "There is much, much more, Cael. The Chosen hide not only by manipulating others, but alsomanage to remain hidden from view using the powers of astrology. To make a very long story short, their use of this power damage the tapestry of fate, concealing them from view. " He pauses for a moment, narrowing his eyes slightly. "You can test it with me, if you will. After this talk, try to see if you can remember anything very precise about me, other than the things we have talked about and the fact I even exist. Try to remember details, and you will see something is more than what it seems."
Cael: What a fascinating concept.
Cael's eyes light just a little as he starts to consider the implications of what Alexsei is telling him...
"That ... is a very intriguiging idea ... I had not considered the larger way of looking at things." he laughs "Which is amusing since that is often how I look at things." he shakes his head alittle.
"Astrology? You speak as though it is some definative tool, not peering into teacups or reading runes. And you speak of damage to the ..tapestry of fate...is this another empereal concept that runs the world?" he tilts his head inquisatively "As to your challenge I will try it." And I will not forget the words of this meeting, for they are too fascinating to pass by.
Alexsei: Smiling at Cael, Alexsei nods at the man's intervention. "Yes, it is easy to overlook, and with many things playing against you, it becomes even easier to dismiss." Running his hand on the cover of his book, Alexsei stares into the empty space for a moment, searching for the right words to employ. "Please Cael, for a moment, consider evcerything you have ever seen and experienced in Creation. Every life, every single object, every region you have visited. Now imagine a moment that all of these things, every single one of them, is a single thread in an impressive tapestry, shifting and changing every moment. Imagine that all of these threads compose the world you know, and that as long as the threads hold together and the tapestry does not unravel, it will continue to strive."
He takes a moment to let Cael consider the example, letting some seconds pass before picking back up. "This is what I mean when I refer to the "Tapestry", Cael. And for your question, the astrological methods my brethren are using are different from mundane astrology - it involves being able to change some of these threads to fit the plans that were thought up. As such... the one you are referring to was to remove their involvement to the rest of the world. It worked even beyond our expectation. Now, we simply are forgotten. We are not found, Cael, because to most people, we simply do not exist."
Cael: "And yet now you speak of it as though it is an actually physical thing... am I taking the metaphor to far? Half the things you say seem to imply broader things, the empheral concepts beyond the obvious and others, others seem so very definate." Cael notes after some deliberation, trying to get his head rounds these ideas, deciding it was best to ask stupid questions than not understand.
"I see ... yes, that would explain how you are not found. It seems like an excellent way to manage it." he considers further "These plans though? This ...changing of the threads... that is all that determines the course of Creation ... you simply...alter a few threads?" He can't quite keep the shock of the idea out his voice, as he considers the implications of it...
Alexsei: "Yes. It is more complicated than that, but in essence, that is what it comes to. A few threads get altered, unknown to the people, for the 'benefit of Creation'."
His expression is more grave now, as he realizes the implications Cael is being made aware of. So much kept from you, and so many other people, for their 'own good'... One has to wonder how much this is your world if you could be sacrificed at any instant, without your consent, to fulfill the greater good...
"Yes Cael. You guess right. There is such a physical place. In Heaven, where the Gods reside, is a place called the Loom of Fate. There, the threads of Creation are woven together by the Patterns Spiders, the servants of the Maidens. We Chosen have the power to make them alter their paths briefly, and although they do not like straying fomrtheir intended paths, they often comply, because we have the authority to do so."
He gazes intently at Cael, his violet eyes flaring with the weigh of his words. "This is a lot to take in at once. But I know you do understand the implications, Cael. This is why it had to be told to you first, and not to the Prince just yet... He has a lot to think about, and I do not know if he can take in all this at once - it will have to be gradual, with him."
Cael: Cael draws in a small breath as the sidereal finishes speaking, as he starts to deal with all the things he did not know and now does. He is silent for a while then, as he thinks, fitting this new information into the state of the world.
"I would like to see that place at some point. See heaven too if that would be possible ... not til after the war I imagine." He starts out with the meaningless things so as not too be silent too long then he nods.
"I agree. The prince does need to be told this, but not yet and probably not so fast. He has a lot to think about now."
A thought occurs "You speak of the other maiden-chosen as though you, normally at least, would interact with them closely, working alongside them ... the maiden-chosen are ... co-operative then, on a much larged scale than we solars seem to manage?"
Alexsei: He chuckles slightly, a laughter half irony and half sadness.
"That is the idea Cael, yes. What is called the Bureau of Destiny is supposed to work in unity towards the goal of preserving Creation... But unfortunately, although this is true in theory, the concept is not. There are many opposed ideas, shisms that divide the Chosen in different factions that best exemplify their ideas. In truth, the Chosen are almost all certain their way is the best for Creation, and although combat among ourselves is forbidden due to our very small numbers, we often find ourselves opposed on the philosophical level."
His eyes fill with somethin that seems akin toi a great sorrow, then. "I do not truly despise my brethren, Cael. I do not think most of them are bad intentionned, or that they are truly malevolent... It is the methods I find myself opposed with. But not many share these views, my friend. Many would see me as a threat for what I am doing now." His eyes narrow slightly, and he crosses his hands on the book once more. "I do not intend to fight Heaven or the Bureau - merely to follow the path I believe in, for the best interest of Creation..."
Cael: "That I can understand ... both the shisms, and the disagreements over methods ... those things seem common to all Bureau's you find on earth. I suppose it is too much to hope that Heaven would be different..." He shrugs, echoing some of Alexsei's sadness at the state of affairs....
"Though what, if I may ask, is your path?"
Alexsei: Raising an eyebrow at Cael's question, Alexsei cannot help but smile. So few ever wanted to know what he was truly thinking... And yet, when confronted with the taks of explaining, he suddenly finds himself at a loss.
Gazing deeply into the Wind Wraith's eyes, the Chosen of Endings places a hand on his chin. "Well... My path is frowned upon becasue I am willing to give the inhabitants of Creation what most of my Brethren want to keep from them. Freedom. Freedom of thought, Freedom of path." He pausses for a moment, nodding again before continuing. "Of course, it runs the risk of some individuals choosing paths that would ultimately treaten others, or Creation as a whole. But I believe consolidated efforts could make short work of those threats."
"I am shunned because I believe that the time for this complete and total control has to come to pass. Just like everything, it had a beginning, and must end too, for it is the natural way of things. I believe it is time we Chosen stop being the puppet masters we chose to become, and we revert back to being the counselors and advisors of yore. This is how I see things, Cael."
"And this is why this is a lonely road for me."
Cael: "I can sympathise with you on walking the lonely road. I've walked it myself in the past, though not too recently..." Cael says with sympathy.
"That though, is a path I can agree on. It is a good path to walk I feel." Cael nods to Alexsei.
"When did it change?"
Alexsei: "Change? You mean, when did the change came to from the metor role to the role of overseer?"
Deep inside, he dreads having to answer this question. The answer might be the more upsetting yet, and it is a truth he is sometimes still not comfortable with. He has fragments of his own memory, of his own acceptance of this truth... and his own hands covered with the blood of the Solars.
"It changed... At the end of the First Age, Cael. After my brethren saw a vision of Creation destroyed by its Solar rulers. This is what changed them, my poor friend."
"The Usurpation saw them change their role, for better or worse."
- The Usurpation...
Cael remembers... deep within his soul.
The screams of his friends. Each and every one the greatest individuals to ever grace Creation. He could feel them, even from afar. Their screams. Feel them as the maddening music still haunted him the one that stopped them, the one laced with the magic of the maidens to drive the chosen of the sun mad, to stop them from moving... like that thing he could feel striking yet another down... he could feel so much, as golden words rewrote all in front of him as the Terrestrials scattered. More, more, so many more...cutting the air with them. Rewriting a tower where it should not be. Breaking bridges that should not be there. And with a poetry, opening the gates of Creation.
And on the other side of a bridge of Moonlight, he saw Her.
Somewhere, he knew his companions were to die. Fintan, he could feel his anger even from there. The one to always be in control... how outraged he was at his subordinates turning against him. Sati... still with her heart broken, calling his name somewhere. Asking for him, knowing he would listen, but he could not be there. He just could not. He whispered a goodbye to her in the codes of Creation, carried by Quicksilver Winds, and heard a heart break.
Running through a bridge of Moonlight, towards someone that should not exist. He had kept secret that she was there... nobody knew but him. She saw him on the window of a spire of glass and quicksilver, and he could feel her heart warming. He had a place to escape to. He...
... felt the cold steel going through him. Something he should have felt. Something he should have known.
No need to look behind to see the violet light... not when one could look down and see the blade...
Swan Song.
Before he could turn to write golden in the air, the blade had already cut his tendons, no hands... "Lonán" was all he could whisper as the blood came to his lips... he could see Tahira running from the spire in a dozen shapes, trying to be fast enough...
And the voice he heard from behind him, the face he saw as he turned, was full of cold sorrow. Of the knowledge all ends shall come. That he had to be the one to bring it.
"Heaven cannot suffer you to live, Bastian. More than any. You are too much of a threat. And this threat ends today."
Vision begun to go red. The vision of a spire of crystal and a lunar running at full speed towards them... the vision of the violet man with a blade on his hand...
A man so alike the one right in front of Cael.
Alexsei: The memories hit like a whiplash, filling him with the reminescence of a life long lost...
A different time, a different him. The cold feeling of one resigned to his own fate, sadness kept in check by the unplacable truth that there is no other way...
His blade sings in the frisk air, and the solar is cut down... As his lips move without his own accord, he peers down at him...
Bastian.
I... killed you...
The shock riples through his very being, his eyes widening as he comes to the grim realization - of his own responsibility in the end of this Age, in the end of the dreams of the Solars... The threads he cut, reluctantly and with great guilt haunting him like some nightmarish wraiths...
He stares deeply into Cael's eyes, and the words block in his throat. What can be said when there is so much to answer for? What can possibly bnring justice to the cold harsh truth of the loss of one's life, and of one's Age?
He stares at Cael, and in that moment, he knows that the man opposite him remembers, also.
Cael: Cael listens carefully to the man's words. So few compared to all else he had said that night.
"....So...you killed us then? Along with the Dragonblooded. The Us-..."
Cael tails off as the memories wash over him, living out the last moments of a life he barely knows...
...The Binds...such power in so small a package...he marvels at their capabilities even as he is horrified at the destruction they wrought...
Sati .... I know I cared for her .... I know she loved me .... and then I broke her heart. With a casual word.
Then Tahira...trying to reach Tahira....
Not nerely enough pain as the sword was pushed through him.
Not nearly enough pain as the sword removed his hands.
Tahari running far too slow and so fast.
Turning.
Recognition.
Recognition in an age past.
Recognition in this age.
Red vision growing.
Blackness.
Cael stares at Alexsei wild eyed, then slumps forward into the dark.
Alexsei: Still in shock over the past images that washed away over his mind, Alexsei stares at the man opposite him.
The man he killed, all those years ago.
As he struggles to find the wods to say to him, anguish and guilt taking hold of him like a vise, he gazes into Cael's eyes, uncertainty filling his violet irises for the first time in this talk.
"Cael? Cael!"
The man suddenly falls into darkness, collapsing to the ground before him with a loud thud. Immediately jumping to his feet, Alexsei rushes to Cael's prostate form, turning him around to see what has befallen him. "Cael, what happened? Are you allright?"
I know he knows too... Could the memories have been strong enough to... What if he... No, he still breathes. But... He... He must have seen both his death and his executionner... THe strong backlash might have knocked him senseless but... What if... What if it damaged his psyche....
Filled with mixing sorrows from two different ages, he picks up the fallen form and places him on the couch, intent on going to Ryshassa for help...
- Ryshassa strides briskly through the corridors of the Zephyr towards the room she shares with Alexsei, Calisara's heartfelt request still fresh in her mind. Just freshly bathed, the healer's dark, damp hair drapes heavily upon a deep purple kimono embroidered with graceful clusters of pink orchids drifting down the folds of silk.
He... fainted? She had done her best to smooth any surprise from her face when Calisara beseeched her for aid. In emergency situations, questions could wait for later, after the patient is stabilized and any danger averted. Ryshassa could not help but wonder, though, what sort of circumstances could have shaken the unflappable Windwraith so utterly. The spirit of the Zephyr had told her, at least, that Cael did not seem outwardly injured...
She pushes through the door without knocking, not quite certain what to expect -- and finds herself near face to face with her husband, his expression grave with sorrow and concern.
"Beloved--! So you were with him at the time. Tell me, what happened just before he collapsed?" she asks, already brushing past him towards the couch where Cael lies prone. She kneels before him, laying a cool hand upon his cheek, examining him first with her outward senses.
Calisara: Calisara appears close to Cael, materializing in thin air, dressed quite... unorthodoxically, not just in her quicksilver tatoos as usual, but in a rosy nurse outfit - the cap bearing the same symbol from the caduceus, one hailed as one of healing in so many places of Creation. Her hand comes to Cael's forehead, her fingers entwining in his silver hair slightly... "He was just telling him cold harsh truths, Ryshy.... the kind of thing one shouldn't know, much less frivolously like that..." She looks at Alexsei, her eyes mildly annoyed, "Tahira was here the other day, and she had more consideration than that! Shouldn't you Sidereals try to be, secretive, and all? Come on..."
Shaking her head, she turns to the healer, "See if he is alright... he looked as he does when he sees things... but I have no idea how bad a vision can be for him, if it is... from death..."
Alexsei: Gazing at Calisara with his eyes filled with sorrow, Alexsei nervously rearranges the glasses that rest on his nose. "I... gave him the answers he wanted... Except... Except I was not prepared for this one. We... remembered at the same time... And... And the backlash knocked him out cold."
He looks at Cael, then at Ryshassa, barely capable of meeting her eyes. "I am responsible for this... For everything."
- Ryshassa nods shortly at Calisara, too engrossed in her analysis to be more than peripherally amused by her choice of outfit. She shoots a glance towards Alexsei as he speaks, her gaze momentarily softening for him, before returning her attention to Cael. "I see -- well, I must apologize, for my husband is not like any Sidereal you would be likely to meet."
The healer's almond-shaped eyes drift shut as she summons the will and the energies to delve into Cael's mind. What other way to judge what damage may have been done from within? She doubted any of it would be permanent -- but as a healing professional, one could never be too certain. Not when lives were on the line.
"Alexsei opened my eyes to many difficult truths in the first days I knew him," Ryshassa explains, her voice already growing distant as the room around her becomes little more than a distraction, and her mind's eye focuses, diving carefully into Cael's withdrawn subconscious. "My own trauma... took me many months to overcome. But it had begun long before my husband ever took me into his care..."
"I suspect," she murmurs, the words almost a disembodied echo in her head by now, "that Cael is much stronger than I was in those days..."
Now, then, Windwraith... I apologize for the intrusion, but this is no time to lie still in the face of change...
Alexsei: For a moment, he observes as Ryshassa leans over Cael, her focus already on the task at hand, her talk merely a secondary function as she prepares to delve and examine the Wind Wraith's mind.
Taking a deep breath, he turns out to the window, peering at the view outside.
She is right, Ryshassa... I am inconsiderate. I am no better than those I critisize...
I killed him. I killed many of them.
Many... of... them....save... one...
A Lost love. A burning Manse. Swan Song still smelling like the blood of the Solars. And... The man bonded to her. He is fleeing... And I let him go. Too many killings already... too much blood on my hands...
He wraps his mantle closer around his shoulders, violet eyes clouded in regret and sorrow...
Cael: Cael's mind is a confused mess. That is Ryshassa's first impression.
Spiderwebs of gleaming golden essence crisscross his mental landscape, though they are now shattered in the chaos, slowly, so slowly pulling themselves together, dragging the errant scraps of information with them.
....he killed me!...
...the binds...such strength in the binds....
....rearranging fate....
...I broke her heart.....
...tahira!!...
...they control the world....
Now, then, Windwraith... I apologize for the intrusion, but this is no time to lie still in the face of change...
....wait...that is not my thought!!
...whose?
Ryshassa: Cael, Ryshassa's mind-voice murmurs soothingly in return. Good, you are aware enough to hear me. This is Ryshassa speaking.
She stops, for a moment unsure how to continue -- this was not a common situation, after all, being caught trespassing into another person's thoughts. From what she could make out of the glittering web of fragmented thoughts distracting him, she had descended right into some of his most private and personal of memories. It seemed to her a tangled knot of pain, sorrow, and regret, too many pieces placed and interconnected at once, struggling to make themselves into a coherent and bearable whole.
And in that knot were ghostly figures of a distant past, a bridge of moonlight stretching into forever, an impossibly intricate loom of glittering strands, a man cloaked in violet glow... and a blade slick with blood, shuddering there in Cael's own breast...
Lonan... Ryshassa's heart leaps in an instinctive recognition that stretches the boundaries of time. Did you...?
She bites off the question, forcing herself to reaffirm her task at hand. It was for Cael's sake, not her own, that she found herself here now, and she need not dwell more than necessary in such a sacred space...
I am truly sorry, Cael, she continues gently, but you had fainted, and worried both my husband and Calisara greatly. Are you able to rouse yourself? I can help you... I am here to help you, if you cannot.
Cael: Ryshassa! Cael's mental voice sounds relieved, the soothing tones calming his mind, the golden strands knitting a little tighter.
...in heaven....
...Firtan...so angry! such rage!
There is no need to apologise, truely. As to rousing myself ... I ... do not know, Ryshassa ...
Cael's mind trembles slightly, as more thoughts pay over its surface, before they calm somewhat.
I will try. You can catch me if I fall? Cael says, his mental tone starting to approach the sure and steady confidence his voice has, though it is still a long way to go...
- Ryshassa is immensely relieved that Cael shows no obvious trace of anger at her trespass. In fact, she could swear he is glad she has come at all.
As uncharateristically shaken as he sounds, she finds herself glad for the fact as well.
I will not waver, she answers, projecting a warm, comforting strength with each calmly placed word. If you falter, I will aid you. But it will be much easier -- for both of us -- if you can begin the process yourself.
Just concentrate on me, Cael. I am your anchor in this storm, your link to the warmth of friends and comrades. I am the call of the present, singing its siren song to you, needing you above, in the light of day.
Cast aside, for now, your questions, your confusion. With time the pieces will fall into place. They may not be comforting. They may not be what you want to hear. But that is the price of truth, and truth is the very thing you sought.
So free yourself of preconceptions, and come to terms with what you now know...
Come...
Ryshassa's voice rises and falls like the tide to the shore, hypnotic in its tranquil steadiness, drawing him with genuine concern and intention towards wakefulness.
Cael: Cael nods, or would if he had any connection to his body, concentrateing on her voice, letting her tones calm him, the shattered fragments looking less ... jagged.
Then he starts, slowly at first, pulling in all the fragments floating round his mind, gathering them together, pulling the golden strands back into the correct shape along with them.
A heart breaks in his mind. He falters. Then he gathers himself again, pushing the memory into it's correct place.
The strands grow brighter.
The work quickens.
Memories reform.
He reaches his death. And...
- Ryshassa watches Cael work, continuing doggedly despite the anguish and heartbreak tugging at his confidence, drawing him down towards catatonic despair. She is, as promised, alert for any sign of flagging, prepared to pull him free before he loses himself completely.
The possibility is a daunting one, for even if freed, she must still finish the job in his place, experience the personal demons he now faces, in order to reconstruct him into wakeful sanity. For she cannot find in herself the desire to bring about the death of a memory, even indirectly, even simply by abandoning it when she could have done more to save it. It is too personal a death for her to live with on her hands. Even in such abstract terms, she is no killer, but a creator, a rebuilder... a healer, in every sense of the word.
So she waits -- and hopes -- and steels herself for the possibility to come. She shivers and sighs with relief when the last memory falls back into place and the shimmering golden web rearranges itself into a healthy, comprehensible pattern. And beyond the realm of thought, in that mundane, physical realm where she still kneels, head bowed before Cael's supine form, Ryshassa raises her head and smiles.
"It is done," she says with certainty, her eyes fluttering open. Her hand still rests on his cheek, the fingers grazing gently across his skin, an innocent caress. "Can you sit up, Cael?" she asks softly.
Cael: Cael opens his eyes, blinking then at the sudden light, shifting somewhat as he finds himself not where he remembers being last. He feels a soft carress. A small smile crosses his face.
Thank you, Ryshassa.
Now his mind is in order, his thoughts appear with so much more clarity, and a certain coolness as an undercurrent to the grateful tone of his thought.
"Thank you." he vocalises then, his own words soft too, as he finds his voice once more. His eyes take in more of the room, the form of Calisara covered in her outfit, seeing the concerned look on her face.
Sorry for worrying you Cal.
He nods, and then slowly pulls himself up to a sitting position, rubbing his head alittle where it hit the floor.
Alexsei: Shaken out of his self contemplation by Ryshassa's soft voice, Alexsei promptly turns back towards the Wind Wraith, his expression visibly reflecting a great relief.
She... Pulled him free. From the memories that shackled him...
She pulled hm free from me.
"I... Thank you deeply, belladonna. This is a great relief to see Cael back..." His words almost catch in his throat, his tone unsure and unconfident. Miles from the knowing scholar of a few moments ago.
His eyes turn towards Cael, almost reluctantly, and he nods towards him, unsure of what to say next... Except the obvious, the only words that make sense in his sorrowful mind.
"I am deeply sorry, Cael."
Calisara: "Cael!"
Calisara cries, holding him in his sitting position, knelt besides him, her face so concerned and urgent....
"You are back..."
- Ryshassa lets her hand fall away from Cael, now that he is up and conscious. She bows her head deeply at his thanks, and shakes it when Alexsei thanks her as well.
"Cael did most of the work himself," she explains humbly. "I simply aided him with the incentive. If it had been up to my skill alone, it would have taken... much, much longer," she adds earnestly, her cheeks flushing vaguely pink.
Ryshassa draws back at Calisara's approach, allowing her a moment of tenderness with Cael as her relief pours out in tears. Rising to her feet, she moves instinctively to Alexsei's side, sliding her arms around his waist, slowly rubbing his back as his shoulders sag dejectedly.
"I saw, beloved," she whispers, her hands gently cupping his sorrow-lined visage as she gazes into his eyes. "Your guilt... I know it must eat at you... but if we are all to work together, the sorrow of the past must remain the past."
"Isn't that right?"
Cael: Cael reaches out for Calisara as she holds him, gently stroking her cheek tenderly with his fingers.
"I'm sorry for worrying you, Cal." He speaks, his voice soft and reassuring and warm for a while then he looks up at Ryshassa.
"Do not sell yourself so short, Ryshassa. Without your calm anchorage, I would have been confused in the darkness for far longer I am sure."
Then he turns his attention to Alexsei
You killed me in the last age.
You may have killed Tahira too.
"What is it that you are apologising for, Alexsei?"
Alexsei: He gazes at Cael, his eyes unsure, repentant. "I..." He takes a deep breath, then straightens up slightly. "I... I apologize for having caused you such a strong sensory overload... the... the talk must have brought back many unpleasant emotions and memories. I... It was a bit much, for such a short talk..."
He closes his eyes, sighing heavily. "Calisara was right, and I should have been more considerate. Again, I apologize."
- Ryshassa turns and smiles gently to Cael, her hands slipping -- reluctantly -- from her husband's guilt-stricken face. "That may be so, but I did not want to take more credit than I am due. In any case, I am grateful you are now awake and aware."
She falls silent, allowing the two to converse further, knowing the memory she had witnessed had much more to do with them than herself.
Cael: "You cannot blame yourself for that, Alexsei. The knowledge you gave me is only what I asked for." Cael says calmly but firmly. "You told me you would answer my questions truthfully, and I kept on asking."
"And as to the memories that caused the ... problem... those I should thank you for, however painful they might have been. They give me a vie to past, and that is in some ways priceless." he speaks softly. "Regardless, I do not think that flash we shared was anything either of us could have predicted. Do not blame yourself for it."
Alexsei: He stares at the Wind Wraith for a moment, his expression unchanging. After a while, however, his traits soften, and a small smile plays on his lips. "I understand, Cael. And I must admit you gain much additional respect from me also - it is rare to see those that would go to great pains for knowledge."
He closes his eyes again, reminescing once more the events that once have been. "I... am taken aback by what has been seen and felt today. But what I also see that as long as we are able... This is a new age. Like my wife said..." he turns to Ryshassa, granting her a loving smile, "The sorrow of the past must remain in the past., if we are to proceed. But the knowledge it grants us will also help us forge a new future."
- Ryshassa slips her hand in Alexsei's, entwining her fingers with his, lending him warmth and comfort through the contact.
"We are working to avert a repeat of the past. That is why my husband has deigned to speak the truth, rather than play the games of his brethren."
"He spoke much the same revelations to me, but over time. I am... truly glad that you are open to trusting him... despite..."
Her eyes flicker downward momentarily as she squeezes her husband's hand tightly. The man she saw in that memory was... changed from the one she had known in her past life. The Caduceus's memory held nothing of what befell Lonan after her passing. For a man with such high ideals to have embodied such cold, helpless regret...
Losing her had been the end of the Age, for him. *
Cael: Cael continues to stroke Calisara's cheek, glad she'd calmed herself.
He nods to the sentiments "Of course, this is a new age and a new time. We should put the past behind us." he says softly
As you apparently did in that age, Alexsei.
All those years of friendship, and still you stabbed me.
Can I really trust you not to repeat in this age?
You regret my death, and you regreted it, but that did not stop it.
Cael stands, drawing Cal to her feet as he does. "I will leave you now, thank you both for your help today. You have given me much to think on." He bows to them in the traditional Gethemane gesture of thanks and farewell and then departs.
- Ryshassa watches Cael abruptly depart, uncertain now whether what had happened was better for thier cause, or worse.
She turns to her husband, her expression softening despire the lingering worry in her eyes. Wraps her arms around him, pressing close, her lips caressing his for a tender, breathless moment, soft, gentle, butterfly-like kisses that hint of a deeper yearning. Comfort... closeness... intimacy. Her fingers run gently through his hair as she pulls back momentarily, gazing soulfully into his eyes.
"Alexsei... will you tell me now, in your own words, what happened between you while I was away?" she whispers, her breath enticingly warm against his ear. "Tell me everything, so I may soothe your pains away, as is my most precious duty... my beloved." **
- - Back to Third Movement
- - Back to A Dance of Angels
