GoldenCat/DanceinHope

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Dance in Hope

Kanti: Kanti eventually let the young girl sleep, the warmth and praise of Mistress wrapping her in a joyous cocoon, the slight pain she felt more than dulled by the sensations Mistress created in her.

Then Mistress went, and left her in the cold and the dark, and the warmth started to fade from her, and she started to think.
Think about Mistress.
Think about Fiona.
Think about what .. she .. did ..
What did I do?! What did I do to her?! ..How could I do such things... to Fiona ... who only ever showed me kindness and gave me sunlight ...
She looked down at her hands, and wrapped up on herself, and started to cry softly.
She cried for a long time.
She cried for herself.
She cried for Fiona.
She cried for Mistress.
She cried alone in the dark and in her own guilt for a long, long time. Eventually she stopped, and opened bloodshot eyes, and then she knew what she had to do ...
Mistress ... lets me give warmth too ... when ... when her pretties have been good.
Fi-..Fiona was good ... so ... so I can give her warmth ... right?
I can take her pain away .. I have to! She moved very carefully over to the sleeping girl, smoothing her hair from her face, fresh waves of guilt washing over her as she looked down at the angelic beauty, then she leaned down and very softly kissed her lips.
"Wake up Fiona ... please wake up."

Fiona: Used.
By Kanti... Kanti of all people...
She cringes as she wakes up, her eyes shaking... as she remembers.She curses the Vestal. She curses Kanti. She curses herself. She curses them all in hate, and buries all traces of the carefree girl that was about to get out of her chest...

She cringes, almost cries, then swallows, and looks up at Kanti.... "Good.... Morning... mistress..." she says, trying to sound pleasant, knowing that even the slightest question would bring such a... rape, once again, but failing to place any pleasantry in her voice, trying hard not to cringe any more....

Kanti: Kanti looked down at her as she woke up, and it was all she could not to start crying in guilt again, small jewels of tear glistening on her face.
No! I can't retreat again ... I have to be strong! For myself ... for Fiona ... I can't cope with her looking at me like that ...I can't! She doesn't correct the girl, not wanting to upset her even more. She strokes her face again, and dies a little inside as she sees the girl cringe away even more.
"Shhh ... I'm not going to hurt you. I promise. Now ... look ... look into my eyes ... I .. I want to take your pain away ... bring you warmth ...... If you'll let me." Her voice is raw with all the sobbing of the previous hours, her face is still glistening with tears, and anyone who knows the slightest bit about people can see how terribly fragile she is right now, how much she needs Fiona to say yes.

Fiona: Fiona blinks... confused.

She is sad... guilt... I knew you weren't like that, Kanti...
No... NO!
She just wants you to trust again, she just wants you to slip again, she is like Mistress, she, she...

She blinks... shakes her head... and looks at Kanti, not knowing if to reply or not...

It goes on for a long time, until...

"If... you wish..."

Kanti: she said Yes!
she will let me take some of her pain away!
Kanti's heart leaps for joy momentarily, her face lightening, then she calms herself, centers herself.
"Thank you." her voice only slightly above a whisper. Then she looks into Fiona's eyes. Looks into the maelstrom of pain and confusion.
Pain and confusion that I caused.
Me. All me.
She forces herself to look ... to keep looking, until all Fiona's pain is laid out before her.

Fiona: She looks within...

And under those hazel eyes, under those warm amber-brown locks, she sees... pain

Pain, as mistress laughs.
Pain, as mistress gives.
She sees how her mind twists and breaks to that, and it all becomes one. Pain becomes pleasure. Servitude becomes pleasure. Her becomes nothing.

Yet, Kanti sees the sorrow
Still, she is not nothing. She sees as every touch, every word, makes the girl bury her independence and brightness deeper, the very parts that cry in shame every time she sees what has become her pleasure, her mistress' scars on her soul, her own whispers at night, her own eroding sense of self...

She is torn between two halves that are nothing but a tangled mess of emotions and assossiations brought by pain and lust...

And what Kanti did... her trust vanishes. Kanti, who was so nice to her, abused as she is.... and yet.... her part that is not nothing hides, hides from Kanti, hides from all others, each touch from the Dragon-Blooded reminding her to go even deeper, to put up the servitude, to heope she becomes the servitude and kill everything else, everything that hopes and trusts and....

Kanti: All that I helped...
I..how could I?

"..I'm sorry ... so so sorry." she whispers, fresh tears glistening once more, as she thinks. Thinks about what to do.

Fiona: She is sorry....
No, she is always sorry...
It doesn't change that, next time...
Stoplookingatmelikethat!
You don't really care, you are just like mistress, stop!

"Thank you... mistress. I am glad that you are sorry..."

She keeps her own tears from flooding her. In pain, in guilt, in confusion. Barely, as they begin trickling...

Even if you are sorry, you will do it again anyway...
Just an extension of mistress...

Kanti: No! I do care! I do!
That ... that is why it hurts so much.
That is why it hurts.

She gently strokes her hair, teasing out the tandles as she thinks, thinks about what to do...

What can I do with you ...
How can I help you ...

She leads down then, and kisses her lips and then she draws back her hand and strikes Fiona's bare skin, and as she does, her magic takes hold.
Wood essense fills the girl, flows through her, taking her mind and healing all the cracks. Pain is still pleasure. Servitude is still pleasure. Those are too deep for her to heal, but the independant part, that she takes, and wraps in the essence of life, giving it magic, giving it voice, giving it the strength to endure everything that that life throws at it ... so that whatever happens Fiona will be there.
She might change from who she is now, she might become more sevile, she might grow in independance, but always she will be Fiona.

Fiona: She feels it. Healing. She kisses Kanti back...
Happy as her walls crumble
Happy as the cold recedes.
Happy as the neurotic paranoia and fear are taken away.

As Kanti breaks the kiss she stays there in an afterglow of happyness and liberation.

She smiles at Kanti... looking for the words.
But there are no words
No words for a thanks of a soul being set free.

Still the follower, the submissive, the little sorceress who wanted to give herself to her prince... but now her, and not a thing that buries her own feelings for servitude... not a paranoid who closes herself to the world, fearful, hurt...

She smiles.
Happy
Free.

Kanti: Kanti smiles back at her, after she breaks the kiss, holding herself above the girl, looking down at her.

I ... I think it worked.
I ... helped her!
I took away her pain.

"I ... I know that doesn't ... doesn't make up for it all ... but ... I ... I ... hope it helped." She blinks, and tears fall from her eyes, as she waits for an answer, any answer.

Fiona: She feels whole. The tangled mess gone, integrated, whole... Stronger now, than maybe she ever felt before. She smiles. She hugs Kanti, close, tightly...

"I don't know what you did... I don't know what you did, but..."

She looks up, eyes filled with happy tears, giving Kanti a light kiss, "Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you..."

"Thank you, Kanti... whatever you did, thank you..."

Kanti: Kanti lets herself be hugged, lets herself be drawn up into those arms, and then she starts to cry again, much less hopeless tears than before, cleansing tears.

Happy she did something.
Happy for Fiona.
Wondering exactly what it was that she did.

Fiona: The kisses come with all happyness and cheerfulness. The hug is as tight as it can get. Her tears flow freely as well, in liberation, in oneness. "Kanti..."

She looks up, pleading... "Thank you thank you... please... never hurt me again. Never do that again. Please? Promise me?"

Kanti: "... What if Mistress tells me too? What if Mistress says it's me or Maera?" her voice is quiet, confused, not sure of what to do...

What do I do then?
How can I...
I want to promise that..
but...
Why does Mistress amke me make choices like this...

Fiona: "Mistress... but mistress is so far away, she can't... she can't..."

She looks into Kanti's eyes... Kanti had helped her, she wouldn't... lie...

"I don't want you doing that to me... even if she asks... she is one thing, but you..."

"You are not her"

Kanti: "But ... She's coming for us ... coming to take us away from the cold ..."
And I want that .. right?
I want that!
I do ... I do want that ... I think
"I ..." she looks at Fiona so confused.

Fiona: "She is...."

There are no words.
Nothing to say
She just clings to Kanti, pleading that she does not let go...
And tries to forget.
Tries not to think...
Just to enjoy herself
Just to enjoy being whole again... just to enjoy the Fire Aspect's warmth, her own golden light bathing both in light and care as her magic fills both with relaxing, narcotic bliss...

Kanti: Kanti lets out a sigh as she feels the bliss fill her, feels the bliss take it all away, feels the bliss and the sunlit warmth on her skin.

I won't hurt you. Not any more. I'll ... I'll try to stop Mistress from hurting you. I ... I don't know if I can. I can't tell you that though ... I don't want to betray your hope. But I won't hurt you.

Not unless I have to.

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