GoldenCat/ShadesOfEventide075
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Wind and Shadow
Ryshassa: Another long day of healing...
As soon as Ryshassa leaves the room that has become the infirmary within Spire after the Exalts -- more or less, anyway -- moved in, she allows her countenance to show the weariness she feels. Alexsei is beside her, having come to pick her up after a day of his own duties and training, and she sways a bit, nearly sagging into his arms.
Perhaps not totally by accident, either. For a moment they lean against a nearby wall, and Ryshassa reaches up to encircle Alexsei's neck with her arms, and kiss him warmly. "I'm glad we have some time to relax together now," she murmurs into his ear before pulling back. "Shall we get a bite to eat perhaps?"
She continues walking down the halls of Spire, arm in arm with her husband, evidently towards someplace to dine.
Iselsis: And the devilgirl comes 'round the corner. She'd been heading for their room, but had the lucky fortune of running into them in the hallway.
Although she looked less than exuberant to see them. The talk with Moon had disturbed her a little, mostly because she just sold herself out to follow someone who might go bad themselves. Then again, at this point she was just doing what was best for the North in general. She hoped.
"Ryshassa, Alexsei, I was just looking for you."
Alexsei Krauser: He follows along, a smile playing on his lips as keeps Ryshassa close to him, enjoying her company now that their respective duties have somewhat quieted down enough for them to spend some time together once again.
He nods deeply at her mention of having a meal together, kissing her forehead as he continues to lead her long the corridors of the Spire. "It would be a real pleasure, Belladonna... So much has been going on that we have not found the time to relax and and spend some moments together..." He smiles once again, noting the weariness in her features as she smiles up to him. "You deserve the rest, beloved."
The arrival of another person distracts him from his observation for a moment, and he stares blankly at the woman for a second before regaining his composure. "Ah... Lady Iselsis! Why, good evening to you." He utters, inclining his head, the words of the demon-woman suddenly taking hold in his mind. "Ah... looking for us, my lady? Is there something me and Ryshassa can do for you?" He asks, glancing sideways to his wife then back towards Iselsis, eyes filled with curiosity.
Iselsis: "Yes. We need to not have a talk, and this talk we're not having should probably be had somewhere more quiet than these halls. It's pretty important, too.", she stresses, "I'm sure you understand what I mean."
"Ah, and uhh, sorry if I was interrupting anything."
Ryshassa: Ryshassa allows herself to pull away just slightly from her husband, adopting a more serious and worried expression. There would be time for intimacy later after all; he was not leaving for Heaven quite yet.
"No, no. You are not interrupting anything we could not have done later." Her stomach takes the opportunity to growl loudly, much to her embarrassment, giving rise to a significant blush. "If you wish to... ah... not have a talk," she says, her voice lowering to a hush, "we can move to our quarters in the Spire, for the moment. We've not totally moved in, so it's a bit dusty and all, but..."
She shrugs, turning to her husband, squeezing his arm gently. "Is that all right with you, beloved?" It seems to be something urgent, she adds mentally through the rings they both wear. We should hear her out.
Alexsei Krauser: He nods towards his wife, obviously sharing her views as they witness the apparent urgency in Iselsis' tone. Yes... Let us go and see - it looks very important. I promise to cook you something nice later, beloved.
He nods to Iselsis then indicating the way forward with a short hand movement. "By all means, if you want us not to talk, you can choose not to follow us this way to our room." He adds in a hushed tone, smiling to Iselsis before leading the way into the corridor.
Iselsis: She simply nods, and prepares to follow the two to their room which was likely just as dreary and depressing as her own was.
She really didn't like this city. It struck her that she really didn't like any city outside of her own home, so far.
Ryshassa: The room that Ryshassa and Alexsei enter has an ancient, timeless beauty to it, much as the rest of the Palace of Timeless Winters has become. Even the furniture feels old, but is nonetheless serviceable, elegant and comfortable. There is a plush couch and a small round table with four chairs all around it, and even, surprisingly enough, a canopied bed. Everything looks so rich, so ...untouched, for ages. Somehow, despite the beauty of each piece -- upholstered in a pattern of winter roses upon an icy blue, with complimentary cream lace trimmings -- it makes the room as a whole seem lonely and even alien.
As soon as everyone is inside, Ryshassa allows the ornate door to fall shut with a muted thud, and turns to Iselsis. "Well, sit anywhere you would like. No one should disturb us here, and nothing you say here will leave this room, if that is what you wish. So speak to your heart's content." She nods, and takes her seat wearily on the couch. Her kimono is patterned in roses as well, but the roses are a blood-red crimson, and the background a vibrant purple.
Iselsis: Ise nods again and sits down in one of the seats around the small table.
"I'll make this short. I trust you two, I don't really know why, but out of everyone in the Prince's new circle you two seem most like normal, good people, instead of shifty rats, abyssals, fair folk, traitors, turncoats, liars and frauds."
She takes a deep breath to steady herself, then continues "Moon came to me tonight. He sat in my room waiting for me, and asked me to go against the Prince, should it become necesary. He didn't like the tone of the conversation at all, and while I believe he's wrong, and while he likes to, I agree with what he said to me."
"This Circle is a good idea to save the north. But you know just as well as I how fast good intentions backed by too much power can go bad."
She glances at Alexsei "And I definately know I don't need to tell you how even the most noble souls can be perverted into wretched dark things. We see it nearly every day in what we do."
"So, I'm here to ask... if this thing starts becoming counter productive, goes bad, starts seeming more like a group of exalts strong arming the world instead of doing what's right... will you stand with us for the good of the north over personal loyalties?"
Alexsei Krauser: He takes a seat besides his wife, listening intently to the words Iselsis utters for them, pondering their impact as he leans back into his seat, his brow furrowing. His expression softens somewhat at her description of her group in very... unflattering terms. He crosses his hands in front of his mouth as he listens to the rest of her words carefully, nodding his head as she finishes.
He ponders for a few mre moments before he speaks, his eyes meeting Iselsis' as he does so. "First things first... I am flattered by the confidence you obviously display for us. This is a comforting notion, the fact that even amongst almost-strangers trust can still prevail." He shakes his head slightly then, wondering if trust is not also born out of desperation, but he pushes the notion aside before continuing.
"You ask us which side we will take, should the downfall of this Circle ever comes. I am not certain if you are familiar with the history of this region... But what has happened before is happening now. A circle who, in its dramatic breaking, sent ripples that would touch all of Creation. A circle whose actions changed the North forever." He gazes down for a moment, sliding his hand on Ryshassa's before lifting his head again and continuing.
"The members have assembled, and for now, this is the best chance we have at fighting this menace that looms upon us. However... If you ask where my interests lie, it is only in the betterment of the North. I know some of us have personal reasons to fight in this war, as they are fighting for hometowns, families, and friends... But for me, the tide that comes to wash away this region must be stopped, and that is my priority."
"I have offered my loyalties to the Prince, as long as our goal remains the eradication of this plague that have swarmed over your home, Iselsis. But things end, and that is the truth of all that exists in this world. And if it had to come to this, all of us fighting one another, loyalties turned to enmity... Then I would stand for the Northand its people, where my loyalties lie."
Ryshassa: Ryshassa allows herself a small, almost imperceptible chuckle at Iselsis' rundown of the other members of the Circle. Certainly she could see how the other woman might interpret the lot of them that way. Especially if one could not easily see to the heart of one's motives and intentions, the way that she could as a Solar Exalted.
But the conversation turns to something much more serious, and Ryshassa's expression shifts accordingly, becoming solemn, considering, thoughtful. Her fingers twine nervously through her braids, which this time she has chosen to wear loosely down her back and shoulders, each bound with a band of silk petals that gives the appearance of blood roses blooming from the braid ends. The beauty of their arrangement is but a distraction to her now, though, and she looks up from her fidgeting to regard Iselsis gravely.
"I am also honored you hold us in such esteem, Iselsis," she begins, slowly, letting her hands settle more sedately into her lap as she formulates her thoughts into words. "I, too, am not interested in remaining in a group that simply wishes to assert itself upon the world. But I also believe that you are giving at least some of the others involved too little credit."
"My answer is quite similar to Alexsei's -- I believe I joined this Circle upon a particular condition. We are banding together, yes, to support each other in times of strife, but there is also a purpose to it. What did the Prince say... saving the world? Perhaps he is a bit ahead of himself already, but he did state first and foremost the undead threats to Winlandia, to Whiteshield and your Windia as well. The North is endangered, and we are to band together and put a stop to it."
"Let us just say that if this purpose is compromised by the other members of this Circle, I... would be inclined to consider withdrawing from it. For the purpose is why the Circle has been formed, not the other way around. At least that is what I like to think."
Iselsis: She simply nods after they both speak in turn.
"Mind you I count myself among that list. Under the 'liars' department, although I do think there are a few worse than me. I'll tell you right now not to trust Gennadi in any way, shape or form. He's not even bothering to don the sheep's clothes, he's just a wolf. As far as I'm concerned his services should be used until he runs out of usefulness, because I can gaurantee you that is how he sees all of us."
"Then again...", she ponders, "At least he's honest about it. That has to count for something, I suppose?"
"I'm not sure these secret meetings will ever have any significance, though, I hope not. But better to look and plan ahead, rather than all of us faltering on the day it's needed for us to stand up. Eh?"
Alexsei Krauser: He nods to her slowly, and shakes his head at the mention of Gennadi. "He is here for many reasons, and he is also here for his own. He is a rogue card, but then again, like you say, he does not hide it. For now we work for the same goals, but later... We might end up on opposing sides, and I suppose we both are prepared for that." He pushes his spectacles up the bridge of his nose, leaning back in his seat once more.
"You say you count yourself in the liars, department, and yet you do not lie about the fact you think so. That should also count for something, is it not?" He smiles at her then, rubbing his hand on Ryshassa's as he continues speaking. "You have said a ot about yourself, and risked a lot by doing so. And so I believe you still have some trust for this group, otherwise you would have merely kept silent. Whatever your reasons are, your intentions are to help save and protect the North - and I have yet to see something to make me disbelieve that fact."
"And so do not worry, Iselsis. Your goal and ours is the same."
Ryshassa: "Does Gennadi disturb you so?" Ryshassa smiles ruefully, mostly freed now from the tension of having to formulate some sort of concrete answer for a very important question. "I think he believes me more gullible than I actually am. I believe his allegiances are mostly to himself -- but at the same time I believe he cares more than he is letting on." She shrugs dismissively, and fondly squeezes Alexsei's fingers as he rests his hand atop hers.
"I am not sure what to say that my husband has not said already. We think very much on the same lines about these things. Unlike him, though... I am no combatant. I do not think I will be able to help in an uprising, if you will, in any concrete way. But my desire is to heal the North, so I will continue to lend my abilities to those who truly wish to do so and do not turn out to be in it for self-serving goals."
"So... you plan to be meeting like this in the future? I would be glad to hear it if you are having any worries or doubts about the group. We could even say... they are counseling sessions, perhaps. Just to give us a reason to meet regularly. After all counseling has been part of my duties before."
Iselsis: "Unless something comes up I don't think it'd be prudent to really talk about this at all. We know where we all stand; I think that should be enough when push comes to shove, because we'll know what to do and who we can count on and who we can't."
"I count myself among the liars not because I make a great habbit of it, but I came here to investigate everyone and if necesary illiminate them, particularly my sister and the other more annoying deathknight. Funny thing though....", she realizes, "There was nothing in my file about you.", she says to Alexsei.
"Only that Ryshassa has a husband. I'm guessing that means you're of the same ilk as Gennadi, because nobody would've missed the powers you display."
"As for Gennadi, maybe he isn't so bad. I'll revise my opinion if he shows an aptitude for genuine empathy, I suppose. It doesn't help that he ... he seems to be making my condition worse, and he hasn't done a whit of investigation about it even though it could come back to haunt him."
Ryshassa: Ryshassa glances sideways at Alexsei, the small smile on her face broadening to something more... amused. "I'm not sure I would say he's quite the same as Gennadi," she says, chuckling, "but if you mean he is a Starchosen, then yes, that is the case."
"You might say that Alexsei is not... quite... ah. He is a rarity among Sidereals, you could say." She figures if Alexsei wants to talk about the factions and his dubious standing in the Bureau of Destiny, then it is probably better to come from his own mouth.
She almost decides to bring up Iselsis' mention of the Dark and Pale Angels, but focuses instead on the words she found most cryptic. "Your... condition, you said? How does Gennadi possibly worsen it?" she asks curiously.
Iselsis: "You mean he's decent, unlike the vast majority of them?"
Skipping over her little pet peeve against the sidereals she responds to Ryshy. "He brings Adorjan out. I've only told this to my sister so far. The first time was in the Zephyr, when I wanted to verify Cael's taint back in Windia, and wanted to warn him of the conspiracy of the starchosen which I only just discovered myself. He kissed my hand, and Adorjan lashed out into this world through me."
"I managed to pull away that time, but later he did it again. On purpose, and instead of pulling away I punched him. Anyway, I felt... saw, something. Inside myself, and him, that wasn't really us? Adorjan, or Adrian as she once was, feels for some previous owner of the shard inside him, and he rouses it."
"He flung me into my sister then. That's when I felt that Adorjan really hates her, and I guess she felt it too, it left a rather nasty mark."
She shrugs helplessly "I try to not think about it all... even though I'm probably going to die soon... I looked for a cure for years and years... at some point you need to just give up and see what fate has in store for you, I guess..."
Ryshassa: "...." She doesn't reply to the 'decency' comment though she very much wants to say "yes?" On the other hand, that could be a very misguided comment, since she's not met that many Sidereals. In fact gods and Exalts alike in Heaven found it quite... discomfiting to have a Solar walking around among them at all.
Iselsis' story about her 'condition' makes her very, very sad. Yet another person she likely cannot heal. Not by ordinary means, even her brand of ordinary, which was actually quite extraordinary. She does not imagine that she could simply tear Adorjan out of Iselsis -- what would she do with her then, keep her in herself? Let her out to terrorize Creation? Trying it with Kanti had been a mistake. It... was not right to put too much faith in her abilities.
It... bugged her though. Iselsis saying she would likely die anyway... that she would just put it aside and not think about it... it bothered her that anyone had to suffer that way in silence. But perhaps that was the only way she had to cope.
"I'm sorry if I speak in ignorance," is what she finally manages to say aloud. "I just... wonder, how this happened to you at all? How Adorjan got inside you? And... this?" She doesn't know how to mention the demonic nature without pointing it out rudely. "If you are Selina's sister, as you say, then ...you were once just Windian were you not?"
Iselsis: "Yeah. I was normal once. After our parents died they decided to stick me into some ancient contraption they use to alter people. Make them more than just normal people? Gives them powers. They make them lower end sorcerors and thamauteurges and the like. Unfortunately something went wrong in my case, and I came out like this."
"I saw that same scene and several others while I was out and my subconscious was trying to make me 'remember' something."
She shrugs again "It wasn't even til I met Gennadi that I even knew what was going on, or that it was Adorjan."
"Something's coming now though. He knows it, I know it, even the enemy knows it..."
Alexsei Krauser: He chuckles slightly at Iselsis' mention of the other Starchosen, and a small smile plays on his lips. "Ah, well, I don't know if I am anything more decent, really... Different, perhaps. I am nothing world shattering, however... I am simply me."
His expression shifts noticeably at Iselsis explains the connection between her, Adjoran, and Gennadi, and he purses his lips in thought. "That is... Adjoran is inside you then? He uses you as a gate into this world? And Gennadi helps trigger it..." He ponders further, crossing his hands in front of his face. "This is... very serious, Iselsis. And something we should not take lightly."
He stands for a moment, gazing down at the demon-woman across him. "It would be a pity if you left us so soon, wouldn't it?" He shifts his gaze momentarily, visibly pondering a few things before he speaks again. "I cannot promise you a cure... But I can research whatever I can glean from history. The connection between Gennadi, Adjoran, your sister and yourself... This might be the key for you to get better - and for this puzzle to finally come together..."
Iselsis: She nods at Alexsei then.
"Serious yes. Don't worry though, I've already resolved to take my own life if she tries to actually enter this world through me. Right now she's just poking occasionally when something interesting comes along."
"Any help I can get would be appreciated... I wish I knew what I'm supposed to remember.", she sighs.
Ryshassa: "I... saw some of it, as well," Ryshassa admits apologetically, "in your dream. When I came to help pull you out. All of those people, pulling you down... There was a demon too. With orange eyes like fire."
"I don't know," she says, shaking her head in emphasis, "whether remembering would end up being a good thing for you or not."
But it tugs at her heart, the possibility. Maybe it would harm her, but maybe it would help... maybe she could help Iselsis understand something that would help her be cured of this affliction?
Her hands clutch at her braids, so long they are that they lay coiled and pooled in her lap like so many lengths of rope. It can't possibly be a good idea to try something like that again? She looks to Alexsei, as if asking silently for some sort of suggestion or guidance.
Alexsei Krauser: There is... It is too dangerous. What happened last time... The danger is too great. I cannot tell you what to do, beloved... But if you seek my advice, as your teacher, I would say there is too much we do not know... Not to mention the repercussions could be enormous, with Adjoran involved.
And if you seek my advice as your husband and lover, there is too much risk to you, Belladonna. Much too great...
He shakes his head, worry creasing his brow as he falls silent for a moment, eyes closed in thought. When his voice finally rings again, it is with a certain, deliberate tone. "There is definitely something to glean from that, Iselsis. Give me some time to find information, everything I can gather on Adjoran and the history between all of you. When we know more, we will be more capable of thinking what this all portends."
Ryshassa: Ryshassa listens to what Alexsei has to say, and squeezes his hand once more. I think I would rather refrain for now... I think you have a point. I wish I could do more now, but... I've already stretched myself so thin. I can't wait until you will cook for me later, by the way... The last thoughts come with a feeling of pleasant warmth that filters through the rings to him.
"I could potentially help you as well, Iselsis, but I think my husband may be able to help you without my... ah... intervention. He is going to visit Heaven soon, though... aren't you, beloved?" It would be soon... as the time creeps up for his departure, she finds herself more and more quietly apprehensive about it. She does her best to hide it, but with such a direct connection between them it is very difficult.
Iselsis: She nods her head.
"I wouldn't expect you to be very keen to go back in there, really. After all it nearly killed us both last time, nothing saying another go will be any better. It's odd though, that I'm safe again now.", she scratches the back of her head, "Guess I don't really understand how these things work."
"Well, I'll leave you to your business then, I've held you up too long already.", and she prepares to get up
Alexsei Krauser: He shakes his head at her, tilting his head sideways as he gestures towards her seat. "Ah, please, no need to go so soon, Iselsis. Unless it is your own desire, I assure you you are not a bother for us."
He turns towards his wife, taking a seat next to her once more. "Of course, if you would rather be alone for now... We would understand. But you are not an inconvenience in any way, so do not feel obligated to leave..."
Ryshassa: "O...oh, leaving so soon?" Ryshassa blinks. Well, it wasn't like she and Iselsis were friends, really -- they'd just barely met. Or were they making her uncomfortable?
"It isn't that I don't want to help you, I hope you understand, it is just... I am unsure I can, given my own limitations."
"Still, I... I'd just like to say, if there is anything you ever wish to talk about, in confidence, I would gladly listen to your troubles and anything else. It is the least I can do for people who are to be aiding me in the battles ahead. I am not a gossiper, nothing you tell me -- or my husband for that matter -- would reach the ears of others."
Iselsis: And she sinks back into her seat. Obviously it wasn't that she didn't want to be here, rather that she felt she shouldn't.
"Well, I guess I can stay a while. I've been alone most of the time for the past ten years, so I've had my fill of being alone. Unless of course it involves parties like at that Kadel place.", she shudders again just thinking about it.
"Just, nobody around here treats eachother like proper people. More like tools of the warmachine, so I figured I'd go again. The only one who usually talks to me like just another person is Acelia, after all."
Alexsei Krauser: "Well." He begins, removing his spectacles to clean them, speaking as he bufs the surface of the lens gently. "I certainly cannot speak for other people, but as far as we are concerned, our door is always open, should you want to say some things, spend some time, or even just chat idly. You are welcome here, Iselsis."
He looks back to his wife, nodding briefly as he leans back in his seat. "So do not be shy to stay for a while - we are people, after all, beyond all that happens among us. We are beings, and the desire to communicate is only a natural one."
Iselsis: "You'd be surprised how easy it is to forget how and to stop desiring it, really. But then that's a long and depressing story and I won't bore you with it.", she smirks slightly. "This is the most people I've seen since I was a little child, really."
Ryshassa: "I suppose the experience of a party depends a lot on the guests. Though the one that Cael hosted on the Zephyr was not a bad one at all. Ended on a bad note, but that was not anyone's fault but the... intruder..." That being Tahira, of course.
"I think you would have despised the sorts of parties I was made to go to when I lived on the Blessed Isle," Ryshassa adds, shaking her head. "You seem to like Seventh Moon... and this Acelia... but you aren't all that comfortable with the others, are you? I admit to being curious as to what your impressions of them are so far."
"Besides Gennadi. That one was... ah... apparent enough."
Iselsis: "The pale one, she's just a pushy bitch with no empathy. Good leader in the battlefield, horrible outside, as far as I'm concerned. The Windwraith I couldn't say. He seems pretty reclusive and isn't going to say a lot about who he is and what he's like, it seems like. That Kanti girl disturbs me, but I feel bad for her at the same time, and wary. She's the enemy's pet, that's dangerous. The prince is a teenaged boy who, in my opinion, needs to acquire some wisdom and maturity beyond his years so he can be the king figurehead instead of the cute boy prince he is now. The country needs the latter, and he can't afford to be anything less. Fiona is... not very remarkable."
She thinks for a moment. "Did I miss anyone?"
"Well beside my sister, but you can understand, siblings. Best not to go there."
Ryshassa: "Siblings..." Ryshassa frowns slightly in remembrance. "I have a younger sister. But it has been years since I've seen her." Her eyes are suddenly downcast as a note of sadness creeps into her tone. "I wonder what she would think of me now. We never fought, much. I was the meeker one, despite being older. She... protected me, as best as she was able."
"But you and the Dark Angel... do not get along, then?" She does not press about it, as Iselsis does not seem to want to talk about it, but leaves the question open nonetheless. "That is... a shame."
"I suppose you must have had a terrible run-in with Lilith, too? Cael and I, we talk more, but I suspect it is at least because he wishes to..." bed a married woman, is what she almost says, but decides not to finish that. Besides, it wasn't as if it would ever happen! "Well, he is pleasant enough company, but he does not say more than he has to. I think Alexander has the capability to be a great leader assuming he is not led astray..."
"...and Kanti? I just hope she will find her own way to salvation, and not think so lowly of herself." Ryshassa lets out a small sigh, thinking of that. Of Kanti and her ill-fated attempt to try and "heal" what cannot be healed.
Alexsei Krauser: "I am afraid I have not seen enough of everyone of them to be able to pass judgement... And the ones I do know better, you also know." He smiles softly, his eyes lowering in reminescence as he tries muses over the concept of siblings. "I had brothers, also. Unfortunately, illness carried them. It is really unfortunate... I wonder sometimes, what would have become of them if they had lived..."
Iselsis: "My sister killed our parents, even if she was made to do it, and ruined my life. Obviously there's a few sore points.", she grins a little.
"I have another brother too. Dylan. He's a freak too, in the de Windia tradition. Stronger than me even, probably stronger than my sister. And a little sister... I... I wonder where she is now and what's she doing."
"Mostly I wonder what will happen when I go home after what I did. Things were just starting to look up, too...", she sighs, "I guess I can't blame Lilith, like you call her, for being such a bitch to me. Not like I told everyone in there the ramifications for me personally of turning rogue like that."
Ryshassa: "Yes... there is that." Ryshassa does not say that she might not have minded if her own parents had died. The very thought of it fills her with guilt. "I think your sister wants you to like her... but it seems much to ask when she does not like herself much, either."
She listens to Iselsis tell of her other siblings... the de Windia clan is truly a large one, and seemingly cursed with misfortune. Iselsis wants no more of that misfortune to even touch her youngest sister, or her home; Ryshassa can see that plainly even without the help of magic.
"Ramifications? So by allying yourself with this Circle you are to be punished when you return to Windia? Is it truly as severe as you have been insinuating?"
Iselsis: "I was the agent they sent into Blue Wind to ascertain what was going on. I warned my superior... Faina... about what was going to happen. I defended her while she sent a magical messenger to warn those in charge from elite nemesaries decked out in soulsteel. I was one of the agents who was sent into Blue Wind to purge it from the dead's agents, and I was the one who disobeyed orders to be a hero and kill the Acolyte of Violet Whispers."
"And I shouldn't have done that. They don't need a hero de Windia. They need one loyal and firmly in their grasp. Why else would they send a bloody hermit like me on a crucial mission like this? I became a liability the day I became a hero, and they sent me here so either my sister and me would both dissapear, or at least I would be out of their hair."
"I was done for before I even turned. But now I've sided with my sister. What do you think they'll do? The ones in charge, who want to keep her, the main enemy, out? And our family down?"
She shakes her head "Valencia's situation might be much the same." and shrugs.
"Even if they didn't want to get rid of me it'd be bad. And now it'll be untenable. They'd rather sit and let Winlandia be overrun by the dead than see my sister home again. Or admit what I suspect they did to our family, to my sister, to me, and to my brother."
Ryshassa: Ryshassa looks distinctly surprised at what Iselsis admits to be the true beginning of her "mistake" that would cost her so much. "You... truly regret that? You regret disobeying orders to eliminate a threat that could have done much worse?"
"Though you seem to be thinking by now that it's too late to turn back. Surely you must see, though, that the fault may not be in your hands but in those that would use you, shape you as a tool, a weapon..." And indeed she had heard some of those voices, saying such things, in Iselsis's own mind.
"You... suspect a conspiracy against your family? If you could find proof, root it out... but the corruption if it exists must be buried very, very deep..." Again Ryshassa sighs, looking at a loss as to what to say about the situation.
Alexsei Krauser: He lowers his head then, his lips pursing slightly as he hears her explanation of her current situation. "A rogue, you say... Oftentimes, one must decide who or what he most important - orders, or one's own sense of right and wrong. There are those who have forgotten their own limits and through sheer arrogance, become truly blind as to their own failure to protect what they have set to protect." He sighs. There was more to say about this, but this would do for now.
He turns towards Iselsis again then, and smiles deeply at her, reasting his head on his hand. "Now... Pardon me if I am comitting an indiscretion but... This person, you call Faina... She is someone important to you, correct? You uttered the name when you were injured, back then. If that is the case... Then I suppose you worry, is it not?"
Iselsis: She stares down at the table and gets really quiet at the mention of that. After half a minute or so she finally pipes up.
"I guess it makes you see someone in a different light, when they stand in front of you, ready to take an arrow for you, just to get done what has to be done...", is all she says. She suddenly felt intensely sad at the whole thing. This had been the first time she'd really had the time or peace of mind to sit and think about it.
Ryshassa: "I think... it is a tragedy when the mission must become so much more important than... than empathy for others, than love and understanding, than one's own life -- or the life of others you care for. But perhaps I am simply naive, or too hopeful... wishing such things can be preserved, yet the world kept safe by those who commit themselves wholly to their duty."
Ryshassa tilts her head thoughtfully, seeming to have roused herself into a contemplative mood. "Duty is such a misleading word though... I feel I have a duty, for example, but it is not one bestowed upon me by anyone except myself. I have the power to heal, and I believe it is my calling to help those who cannot help themselves, those that bear no ill will toward Creation and show a measure of sympathy for their fellow beings."
"What is your 'duty'? If I were to judge from what little you have said in my presence so far, I would think that you are similar to me, and wish to protect with the powers you now have those things that you love. Whether it is Creation as a whole, or Windia, your home, or ...Faina."
Alexsei Krauser: "I too, am seen as a traitor by many of my colleagues. Someone who ignores the sacred duties of the Starchosen, the fundamental rules that should govern each and every one of our actions. But there are things more important than these - I have found about that the hard way."
He gazes to Ryshassa, then back to Iselsis. "If your gut feeling is telling you to go one way, Iselsis... Then by all means, follow your instincts. Hold close to your heart what you hold dear, and never let it get out of your sights. That is the only advice I can give you."
Iselsis: She narrows her eyes at Alexsei then, for just a moment.
Yeah, easy for you to talk, your wife isn't the most dutiful person in the world on the other side.
But she bites it back, mostly.
"At least you two have eachother. After this, I won't even have that much."
Ryshassa: "I think I see now..." Iselsis' short reply isn't a direct answer at all, but Ryshassa still feels she is getting a better understanding about where her loyalties lie. "You wanted to continue being loyal because of Faina, but because you've disobeyed this far you don't think she will accept you back?"
"But on the other hand -- you realize that confronting this threat in the North is important, even more so than... what affections you may have in your heart. So you're trying to put it aside..."
"It's hard though... it's not something you can just turn off."
Wondering whether she has spoken or assumed too much, Ryshassa allows her words to carry the conversation to a slightly different topic. "But what of your sister... are you still prepared to... to kill her if she shows herself to be a threat to Windia?"
Iselsis: "You don't know her... everything else comes second to the mission. Even ... me. She'll never be able to accept this, and she'll probably wind up working against me, because that is what her heart will tell her is right.", she shakes her head, remembering how icy and cold Faina could become, how businesslike, like she shut off her emotions entirely. Only once, once had she managed to crack through, and make her twitch.
"She can turn off her emotions.", is all she says about that.
And then Ryshy asks her about wether she's still prepared to kill her sister, should she prove a threat to Windia. She looks up from the table and her eyes seem suddenly more... hard. As does her voice when she speaks.
"I've been trained since a little girl to be one of the invisible wardens against the threats that spring up inside and outside Windia all the time. I was trained to be the nameless, faceless agent who goes out to deal with problems most people will never know about, so they can safely sleep at night."
"Rogue or not, I am a Windian black ops and I will not let anyone hurt my home, or my country. I will gladly kill anyone if that accomplishes that goal."
And then she goes, seemingly back to normal. "Let's hope I don't have to though. There may be civil war, depending on how this plays out, but that's not enough to make her threat. I hope she'll be reasonable about her revenge."
Whatever the windian black ops were, Alexsei and Ryshy knew that Iselsis was irrevocably one of them, and the ideology of their cause had integrated for the full hundred percent into her own morality.
Ryshassa: Ryshassa almost says "I'm sorry," about Faina, but realizes at the last moment it wouldn't go down very well with Iselsis. What she says instead is, "If she has emotions to turn off, at least you know that she has them. I know that does not make it any better, though."
She observes -- with some admiration as well as some fear for Iselsis -- as the other woman speaks firmly about her loyalty to Windia and its "black ops". You'd even kill yourself if you thought it'd be for the betterment of Windia, wouldn't you? The unspoken thought brings another weight of sadness in Ryshassa's stomach. But at the same time it also brings a sense of understanding, for the nature of the martyr who would die so others may be spared.
"I suppose the real question, then, is being able to understand and know for sure what the threats to Windia really are. It's not always as easy to determine as you think... but I do not believe you a fool. I truly wish that Faina would be able to see that despite your transgressions you have always had Windia's safety and prosperity in mind."
Ryshassa yawns suddenly, a gesture that comes as a surprise even to her, as she quickly covers her mouth and blushes demurely at the display. "I'm sorry... we've talked much longer than I expected... it might be a good idea for me to dine and have some rest, as the infirmary still awaits tomorrow."
Alexsei Krauser: He nods to his wife, brushing her braids slightly before rising to his feet. "Your loyalty to your cause is commendable, Iselsis. If there is a way we can help you accomplish that, by all means, we will." He nods towards her, then looks to the side, his expression filled with something akin to sorrow. "I know it is not much to offer, and I wish I could do more to help you... But what I can do, I will, rest assured..."
Iselsis: She nods and gets up, stretching a bit after sitting so long, then looks at both in turn.
"Thank you, both of you. It's good to know ... that there's people you can count on who don't need to be oathed or emotionally blackmailed.", she smiles a little. Everything about the girl just seemed to scream that she'd had a very sad life.
"Well, I enjoyed our talk.", she smiles more genuinely then, "Have a good night.", and heads for the door, leaving rather quickly and quietly. She had never been much good with goodbyes, even the small insignificant ones.
Ryshassa: "Wait..." Ryshassa calls out one last time as Iselsis makes to depart from the room. "I forgot, I ought to ask... do you prefer to be called Iselsis, or...? I mean, I know your real name now... is that something you'd rather not be referred to as, even in private?"
Iselsis: She nudges the door open to a crack, after almost closing it completely.
"Just stick with Iselsis for now... it's gotten comfortable. And I haven't made a decision about how public this will be yet."
And then the door closes.
Ryshassa: Ryshassa turns to Alexsei as soon as the door clicks shut, lifting her legs up on the couch and snuggling against his side."So then," she says in that coy way she shows him when she's asking for something she knows she will get, "what was that about a meal you would cook for me?"
- - Back to Sixth Movement
- - Back to A Dance of Angels
