Lexicon/UdonOfAndalusite
Udon of Andalusite
UnExalted, unGod-touched, and indeed unmagical in every way, General Udon of /Andalusite yet managed to make his way to prominence at the end of the First Age. His lack of supernatural talents did not prevent him from being both cunning and unbelievably charming, as he more than demonstrated during the very last of the many Ha-Chon-Ji wars, when he prevented his little principality from being crushed between opposing forces -- both led by Exalted, no less.
On one side stood Lady Sabre Aflame in Triumph, the last (or at least last-recorded) incarnation of Scathach, the Golden Blade; as every successive rebirth of the Golden Blade was seen as the return of the greatest warrior in the history of the First Realm, she must have seemed to General Udon to be an intimidating force indeed. On the other stood her lover of the time, Lady Mouse That Hunts Eagles. Known for her kindness once, the Lunar Exalt had been driven to madness and excess by the rejection of the man she loved, Lord Xi Pou; she spent the last years of her life seeking out destructive relationships. In this particular instance, the two ancient Exalted were piqued after an argument over what colour carpet to use in their shared Manse's living room; the Golden Blade favoured black with silver embroidery, while Mouse That Hunts Eagles felt that silver with black embroidery would be more tasteful. They decided to settle the matter by having a war -- whoever could occupy Andalusite first would not only choose the carpet, but also be allowed to redecorate the whole room.
Naturally, Andalusite and its reigning elite was not consulted on the matter, and naturally, the whole of the country seriously considered evacuation. Fortunately, the marvellous General Udon came up with a solution. For Sabre Aflame in Triumph, he styled himself to resemble what he had read of her first incarnation's lover, Lord Dreaming Steel; and, attracted by memories she couldn't quite catch, the lady fell head over heels in love with him. Seducing Mouse That Hunts Eagles, on the other hand, was more a matter of seeming unlike the lover that had rejected her, so General Udon acted as vibrant and exhilarating as possible, having thoroughly researched Xi Pou as well.
Once both women were infatuated, General Udon simply arranged for one to find him in the other's company, then made himself scarce during the ensuing battle (which he had prudently arranged in Lastleaf rather than his homeland, and which proceeded to utterly extinguish several valuable plant species that had only been available in that fine city). Their original argument and "solution" forgotten, Mouse That Hunts Eagles and Sabre Aflame in Triumph remained locked in single combat until the Usurpation; neither even noticed the Dragon-Blooded warriors who killed them.
It is stories such as this one which make me -- yes, even me -- wonder whether the Exalted should ever truly have been given Creation to rule, and mortals could not be relied upon to do a good enough job on their own ....
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~ Shataina
See also Shataina's other Lexicon entries
