Valeriana Zeiphandil

Name: Valeriana Zeiphandil, Parsimonious Rectifier of the Unfortunate Semblance of Fate\\ Player: GoldenH\\ Caste: Endings\\ Nature: Jester\\ Concept: Ex-Princess, Healer & Fairy Godmother\\ Division: Violet Bier of Sorrows\\ XP Left/Total:

Attributes

Strength 4

Dexterity 5

Stamina 2

Charisma 2

Manipulation 1

Appearance 4

Perception 2

Intelligence 2

Wits 5

Abilities

Sail 3

Dodge 3

Linguistics 2 (Flametongue, Old Realm, Riverspeak)

Performance 5

Socialize 3

Archery 1

Investigation 1

Lore 3

Occult 2

Stealth 3

Athletics 2

Awareness 2

Bureaucracy 2

Martial Arts 5

Medicine 2

Backgrounds

Acquaintances 1 (Servant Girl in native Kingdom)

Allies 3 (Fleeting Maelstrom, a Celestial Lion)

Artifact 5 (The Harp of Autochthon)

Celestial Manse 3 (Gem of Omens)

Manse 1 (Gem of Injury Sense, Shadowland Sidereal Manse in Chiaroscuro Tower ]

Salary 3 (Favor of the Bronze Faction)

Sifu 1 (Young Bronze)

Virtues

Compassion 3

Conviction 3

Temperance 2

Valor 1

Willpower: 6\\ Essence: 3\\ Essence pool: 12 Personal / 33 (32) Peripheral\\ Committed: 1

Health

□    -0

□□   -1

□□   -2

□    -4

□    Incap

Charms

Sail

Stone Skipping Spirit

Mirror Shattering Method

Dodge

Absence

Duck fate

Avoidance Kata

Performance

Perfection in Life

Defense of Shining Joy

Socialize

Hot Eyed Snake Whispering

Awareness

Prior Warning

Martial Art

Leaping Mantis Technique

Iron Arm Block

Mantis Form

Astrology

The Haywain 1

The Corpse 3

The Crow 3

Gear and Equipment

Hearthstone amulet

Combat

Base init: 10

Soak:      2B/1L/(0)A

Dodge:     8

Attacks:

Kick - Spd: 7, Acc: 9, Dmg: 6B, Def: 9

Bare Fist - Spd: 10, Acc: 10, Dmg: 4B, Def: 10

http://hammerand.com/goldenh/val.jpg

Background Summary

Childhood

• grew up in a small kingdom in the deserts southeast of the Varang States
• went scavenger hunting with her friends and occasionally hid her identity
• never went to sleep before she heard the end of a story

Exaltation

Planned to kill herself, since she thought it was her "end", but forgot that you can't have an ending without a beginning \\ Sidereals foresaw this partly but thought she was being mind controlled by other celestials whose presence they foresaw (thus, green aura = anti mind control) but in fact she was doing it to end the story she saw, and the Lunars were there to kidnap, not kill her. \\ the Lunars brought her to a Solar Exalted who told her the lore of the Cult of the Illuminated, that the Solars were meant to rule creation once again with the guidance of the Sidereals. So he was bringing her to the Sidereals to protect and teach her, so she could return the favor one day. Since they forget the Sidereals who aren't wearing resplendent destinies, they haven't realized that sometimes the Sidereals oppose them, remembering only corrupted exalts, like Abyssals or Infernals. \\ The solar exalted reveals her destiny; or at least part of it. He finds that one of the blood-patterns is an intricate mural/painting of the scene where she fights an army. The other two sheets of cloth are seemingly random, but he doesn't mention them since the occult geomancy used in reading them is beyond him, and he doesn't know about them anyhow. \\ The bronze faction works out where the solar was supposed to meet up with the gold faction, and lies in wait. The gold faction realizes that they are there, but they can't do anything about it. So when the traveling party arrives at the meeting place, the bronze faction ambushes the solar, and the gold faction ambushes the bronze faction. In the midst of the kung fu battle (which ruled!) the princess escapes, "feeling" a nearby portal to Yu-shan. She finds the gateway and slips through, the combatants so distracted that it takes several minutes for them to realize she is gone. Then they just go their separate ways, since nobody wants to keep fighting.

The Celestial City The princess is barred entrance into Yu-shan, until the celestial lion Fleeting Maelstrom shows up and reveals that she has a home within the city. Confused, but willing to go along with him, she follows him to her celestial manse, where he tells her that the previous owner died recently and that he felt that she would gain more use of it than some prattling god. Then he leaves, leaving her to explore it. After wandering for a while she finds the hearthstone chamber and figures out how to attune to it, and then leaves the manse to get some food-in-a-box before coming back to her new home.\\ Her Sifu, a young bronze faction sidereal attacks her while she is eating on the floor (no furniture in the mansion) and they fight kung-fu like. After he defeats her he introduces himself as her mentor, he travels the world as an immaculate monk, and has the bald head for it and the martial arts styles down. Also he knows spider style. After defeating her he rips off her clothes and shows that the weird outfit she put on in the morning thinking it was just weird underwear that goes with the dress is actually her new uniform. He explains the reasons for the Bronze faction trying to kidnapp her away from the gold, but she doesn't want to switch sides.\\ After suggesting she go to a local fate planners meeting, he gives her a map of a lost manse and it's hearthstone, and leaps away. She tries to follow, but gets lost in Yu-shan instead. Yu-shan, being quite huge, is really difficult to explore, but she manages to ride a large public boat around. She does this for a few days, exploring places in Yu-Shan at random, and getting to know her neighborhood and neighbors. \\ She attends the meeting where instead of discussing boring policy number #578 they explain more about stuff going on in Yu-shan and why the Sidereals did what they did and what they did and more stuff. Basically revealing the hidden story of creation and stuff. Now even more educated, she goes home and sleeps on it. Fleeting Maelstrom shows up at her manse to tell her something, and does, but it is forgotten as they feel a strange attraction for each other and make love. Later they decide to just keep it friendly because neither really feels anything towards each other besides that occasional spark, whatever it may be. \\ Valerie later goes to find the manse, discovering that her powers allow her to travel between creation and Yu-shan. She buys a dragon boat and takes it to creation, then goes into the haunted part of the manse. \\ the manse is the upper levels of a deserted tower. The lower half is rooted in the ground, and not actually a manse, but part of one of the many Shadowlands. The bottom floor is just a elevator (a non-glowing invisible disc, until essence is committed, of course.). A crying ghost-maiden makes her home in this room, always crying unless somebody talks to her.\\ The disc is hidden, and keyed to the hearthstone, so that it is needed to enter the manse; having it you are carried on a disc to the top floor, a giant glass dome that shows the entirety of the sky, filled with archaic equipment and tables filled with star charts and notes in old realm that seems to be mostly charts of numbers and names, but here and there what could be a diary. \\ Lower levels get more and more mysterious, but are generally consistent with the towers described in Ruins of Rathess; they are guest rooms and really aren't anything specilier than the rest of chiaroscuro tower. Except for one room, about 1/3 of the way down the tower (the manse itself only takes up the first half of the tower, the bottom half is sealed off from both the ground and the top) \\ This room has a special door, and it is the only floor in the middle of the room on this level. It is locked, and you need to press the hearthstone against it to open the door. Inside there is a dark room, and in the middle of the dark room there is a table with a book on it. The book is sealed with a prayer strip, and sleeping on top of it are an Orichalcum and a Soulsteel automata assassin, intertwined in each other. There are also five jade automatons, all of them hidden, and will attack anyone who enters the room in an effort to protect the book. The two "sleeping" automata will strike anyone who seems to have a chance at defeating the jade automata. Anyone who tries to escape will generally be let go unless the two automata were "awoken" at which point they will be perused until death or sanity. \\ This book is actually a book of necromancy and contains secrets from the first age. Considering her predicted martial ability, it will be safe in her hands.

First Age

She doesn't know anything about herself first age but will eventually piece some parts together because of visions and the elder Sidereals eventually revealing what happened. and because she will find stuff from her former lives that she left for her self, and the absence of things \\ So in the first age, she fought in the primordial wars, and healed many people. It was not until the end of the first age that she really met up with her destiny. One of her patients was a sick man, a man who had forsaken the unconquered sun during the war with the primordials, and so now that the yozi had lost he lived in penance, vows taken to please the unconquered sun, vows that included shaving his hair, living forever in poverty, and most importantly for this part, chastity. \\ For the poor healing woman came upon this solar, and so odd and unique was this man's penance that she concluded at once that he must be sick, and so it was that he found he was indeed very ill, for his soul and body had taken a great toll in the war, and he bothered not to seek treatment as part of his penance. \\ And so she fell in love with this man as she nursed him back to health, but in so doing so she grew afraid that he would not love her back, and so she made him very ill with her medicines, and made herself the beacon of light and the bringer of his only pleasures. And so he fell in love with her, as she had him, and they consummated their love under the open sky. \\ Now the gods were angry at the solar, at first, but forgave him for a while considering how much work he was putting into being a pure and all-around-good guy. But how he gave up his vows just for a few trials and a comely maiden? Well, she was pretty, and he really had no chance against her manipulation of destiny, so they could let him wander creation forever, but her, they cursed, and the curse is as here.

http://www.gfxartist.com/community/elite_gallery/33375

the healer became the carrier of disease, and shunned and hated by all who knew her. And because of this she went off alone and discovered her fate, to live forever and not die until, well, ever. No matter what she did, she would live forever and spread the disease she was cursed with to everyone. \\ a mysterious artifact called the harp of autochthon was one of the ways she tried to get around this. She hoped by using it's powers she could rewrite the curse that was on her, but of course she couldn't use it, and nobody else knew or would use it. Maybe if she could have used it it would have worked, but she couldn't, so she locked it away. \\ But it was futile, and she lived her life until just a few years ago, ignoring the great contagion, the invasion of the fae, and the solar purge, when, finally, she died of old age and passed from this world. And thus a new exalt was open for the Sidereals to convince to join one side or the other, it just so happened that the bronze had people in the area and the gold's didn’t... but the gold just had more manpower in this case, and that won out. \\ Val doesn't know why she is good at martial arts and medicine, but it's because of this figure in her past. It is because of the 5000 years of absolute nothing to show for her past life, and what happened that keeps the sids from telling her what happened in her past life.

The Story with an Ending (Part I)

What is it that separates the nobility from the common people? In some places, too many things. In others, far too few for comfort. But something that is true for many noble families is that they are the common people of place other than that of which they rule. This works in the Realm, where Dragon Blooded rule over mere mortals, and it also works in the threshold, where ruling families become more and more unlike their people, and more like the dynastic wives and husbands bartered to them through alliances and, rarely, love.

So it was not surprising when somewhere beyond the southeastern border of the Varang States, a King was born who had never seen the sea, born on an isle besieged by sand. Here there was a man who had been raised amongst people he was to rule, a people he loved, and who loved him to the very ends of creation. But the blood of his ancestors sang in his veins, driving him from the sandy dunes of his homeland and to the north, where the king's heart finally stopped, a moment of silence in which to hear the perfect harmony of the sea.

From that day forth, the king visited the sea for a month out of every year, to sooth the longing cries in his heart. And he married a queen of the sea, a Delzahn princess whose heart beat the same as he. Together they had 15 children. 8 boys and 8 girls, one of which is the focus of this story.

In the kingdom of her birth, the people do not have the hardcore reliance on the position of stars in the sky. Instead, events in one's life are the determiner of what one will do. A flock of crows passing overhead is more important than a strange retrograde motion in the orbit of Venus. Finding a lame dog lying across the road is an omen unmatched by a meteor falling from the sky. There are even mystics who came to divine the future by the pattern of snot in a rag, but nobody much cares to talk to them very often.

Our little princess was born in this land, an unremarkable little girl. She had elder brothers, elder sisters, younger brothers, younger sisters. Everything but a twin, as a few of the couplets were. And from the very beginning, she loved to hear her fathers stories. She would listen to minstrels, far and wide. Hang around after dark in taverns floating on the sand, listening to the stories of merchants and scallywags sailing the Sun's sea from both near and far. Even delve into dusty tomes thousands of times her age, daydream while hanging above maps with foreign-sounding names, and dig in the sands with her scavenger hunting friends. But one thing was always the same, whether she found anything or not. She never let it not have an end. When her father told a story, she didn't close her eyes until the last words were out of his lips. When the bouncers would throw the little brat out of the rowdy parlor, she would stand on tipsy-toes looking through the windows until the place was closed and everyone else was in bed. Books would turn to dust in her hands, if they weren't sturdy enough to take the abuse, as she read under her covers by the aid of a glow-light, or even by candle. And when her friends were safely back in their beds, having yet again found nothing but sand, and more sand, she would curl up alone in her bed and fall asleep content, untroubled by the fact that they found nothing at all.

Perhaps these activities gave her a bit of mysterious beauty that other girls lacked. Maybe the cagey old men just liked hearing stories they too had been told as grandkids. Perhaps she offended some god of ugliness, deeming her unworthy to fall under his domain. Whatever the case, she grew up beautifully, and it was not long until she grew up a bright young girl under an auspicious star. Maybe two. It didn't much matter in the Kingdom of Huran. But there were stars in her brilliant eyes, said the thoughtful ones who gazed into them, and that meant different things. To the little girl, it suggested that the stories might be true, and so she made her own.

Wrapped in the veils of a wanderer, she made her way to the city of Talt, hidden from sight by darkness and from worry by assurances that she was just going on another adventure with her friends. It was less hard to sneak from her bedchamber in the middle of the night then it was to sneak by the realm garrison, on alert for some reason. But none of them thought to stop a little peasant girl, hungry and thirsty from crossing the great desert, or maybe it was compassion that caused them to look the other way when she slipped tiredly into the city and made her way to the central prism. Through the archives she worked, pouring over old dusty charts, leafing through shelves of occult diagrams, pillaging her way through the helpless libraries of lore, performing complicated mathematics under a dull moon that smiled upon her work.

In the end she had traced her way through the ancient traditions of the Varang. From the moment of her birth, to the stars in the sky, to every constellation that was significant in any way. She educated herself on the matters of astrology and the secrets of reality as if she had always known they were there, correcting errors in the margin where she somehow knew they were wrong, drawing conclusions that were only hinted at, unknown to mortal men. She felt the hand of destiny, and knew the mind of the ones who planned. Her life was a story, written out before her, and she smiled as she saw what the maiden had in store. It was a beautiful tragedy, she thought, and a brilliant end.

The dress she wore was white, made only more unbearable by the light of the sun above her, which seemed to lend her it's own radiance and beauty, but perhaps, she was only taking what was hers. As the court magicians whispered amongst themselves, the people could only cheer. The king could only beam in pride. The queen and her children looked down from above, those who had come of age in the dresses they had worn on this day, and those who were younger wearing little things that would be quickly torn off and discarded to avoid an ill fate, the contamination of watching another's destiny's plan unfold.

"So when will she be ready?" asked the man with green-speckled eyes, standing in the archway of the great manse.

"Ah, my friend, but you already told me that!" the similarly dressed man chuckled, mirth coming to his traveled face.

"I know, I know, it's always me wondering I forgot something. When she comes..." the ancient man looked to his companion for assistance.

"When she comes," his yellow-robed companion agreed, of comparable wrinkled brow and knowing smile. "We will take her by the arms and lead her on to her new destiny."

She felt the strange tingling, the mysterious pain, the flush in her body and face, and smiled, knowing it was time. She looked up to her people, cheering and waving banners with her face and name, and she could not help but wave back mirthfully, only bringing on more cheers. Looking up to the heavens, she smiled at the sun, and seemed to disappear in the white as her shadow vanished, the color in her skin faded to the deep red lips and violet eyes, the pinkness of her flesh returning to her skin as she looked down one last time at her people. She drew the dagger from her sleeve and turned it in to her, in a smooth motion plunging it into her chest....

Her people cried out at the glint of twinkling light moving like a shining star, and then there was silence as they watched, powerless as it darted towards her chest. In an instant, her eyes closed. In an instant, her body was wreathed in a aura of green. In an instant, two turtle doves, who had been clucking like birds on the stone to either side, grew into men, leaped forwards, grabbed her arms. In an instant they were running across the heads of the peasants who shocked beyond belief.

Like a wave breaking a perfect sea, the people grew into rage and swarmed like a hive of bees at the abduction of their queen. Even as a violet light encompassed the young princess, two other lights exploded from the castle gateway. A yellow, A green. But though they walked towards the edge of the foaming, biting, punching human sea, they knew they could not follow, but only watched as the lunar beastmen made their escape to the young solar that could not help but be nearby.

Through a forest they ran, tireless creatures that did not seem to notice the royal bundle of terror they were carrying. They took knightly blows that would have given any mortal a beating, and ignored shrieks that would have sent heartless monks into tears. The shifting dunes gave way into level sands. The level sands gave way into towering mountains. And halfway up the towering mountains were forests. Up these peaks they ran, minding the slopes and deadfalls little more than they did the sinking sandtraps of the south, their leaps almost seeming to approximate flight where a path could not be found. Not falling rivers, nor immobile boulders, not tiny saplings, nor ancient mazes of trees could slow them down.

"Where are you taking me!" she screamed, struggling, demanding to know an instant before they spilled her at the feet of a man she hadn't seen. She yelped, and looked up in fear that was instantly, completely calmed by the kindly face looking down at her. He bent, as if to touch his toes, and offered her his hand. "My name is Choten." He smiled, and there was such a sight in that beauteous smile that Valerie could not help but trust him, and before long they were riding horseback, happily kidnapped ever after.

All's fair in Love and trying to get Sidereals to join the Bronze Faction (Part II)

The mountains in the light of sunshine do not forever lie undimmed by the fallen shadow, and it was not in destiny's plan for gloom to follow the young princess, her new friend, and his loyal steed. A pair of canaries flitted from tree to tree as they rode, essence sparking up behind them as enchanted hooves struck stone rocks and shattered them underneath.

Later, peasants would come across these rocks and talk amongst themselves hurriedly in low voices of gods and their strange ways, but none saw the strange travelers as they fled amongst the mountaintops, until it came to be that there was a canyon in their way where a river god once called home, and the solar deftly rode his appaloosa-spotted horse down into the ravine, his skill and the mount's strength seeing them safely to the stream below.

Stopping to let his horse rest and his lunar companions return to their human forms, he stooped down to scoop a handful of water in his hand, when he saw that the undergarments of her dress were no longer white, but hemmed in red.

Valeriana waved back and forth, enjoying the place where cool mountain breeze met fresh air floating above the crystal-clean water that flowed south into the endless deserts of the south. She smiled when she saw him looking at her, and slowed her stationary dance as he approached with a worried look on his face, and started wordlessly into his brilliant blue eyes as one hand went to her back and supported her while the other slipped under her skirts and ripped her bloody undergarments out from the place they should be, and instead exposed them to sunlight.

Wordless, she stared at him, and for a moment he held her, but then he averted his eyes and stared at the stained linens, though she did not until he said, with a voice heavy with awe and mystery, "Look at what thine people's ways hath procured." And she nearly fainted straight out when she saw the bloody scene that was before her. But the Solars magic was not so weak as to allow *that*, and after a quick tussle with her lips she came straight to, staring again at what the cloth revealed.

A scene of ominous proportions spread out before her, painted in her own blood. A massive army, that stretched from sea to sea along the edge of a foresty place, had once stood for a reason. Once, because perfect formations of shining armored troops now creepily lay in their own blood with no foe fallen before them. A reason, because there were a few left, surrounding the one single person who was killing anyone. A brief gasp escaped her lips, and Choten's hand curled comfortingly around her waist, supporting her as she saw the face of that reason was her own.

The two new ones in love touched their head together as the impact shook them. But that was not all the tapestry had to tell; for the heavens above were a viscous maelstrom, a fiery cloud that followed a glowing meteor, sparkling with molten lava and impurities - a meteor that was heading straight for our hero, who either did not see it coming or did not care - surrounded by the last few soldiers who likely did not hesitate in their last final charge towards her.

Neither could say anything - such a scene was too horrible to be described. But the solar knew better to discard such a thing; he took her hand, and gave the three cloths to the Lunars who followed. And the Lunars proved their worth to their master, if indeed they had not already, their folds separated by thin pieces of parchment, and the whole thing wrapped in a brown paper package tied up with string so carefully that not a single mote of blood was displaced.

The Solar, of course, held the young woman in his hands, who looked to him with support. And so he scored his mind, and activated his mightiest comforting charms, and lifting her to the horses back, got on himself.

"Come, we must not tarry long here," he said until the Lunars, and they nodded, splitting into a mound of black feathers and two black birds, then changing colors until it was a cardinal and a bluejay scouting the land before them. With one hand on the reins, and the other on her leg, the prince of the earth told the princess of the kingdom a tale that few ears had heard.

It was to take a number of days until they could reach the rendezvous the Gold faction had preordained, he explained as they rode, and they would sleep astride the mount, who was bolstered by the Solars charms that he would not fall or grow ill in that time. And she nodded, and smiled, and asked what tales he could possibly have to entertain her. So the Solars mind stirred, and came upon the ones he had been told upon his own exalting and indoctrination by the gold faction. Thinking to do them a favor, he turned on his most powerful persuasive charm-eyes and spoke with his lips to the enchanted field-maiden who rode along side and could do nothing but let her mind be filled with silly ideas and things.

This is what he said, though, I somehow doubt you will be as swayed by them as she was. I really, really need to exalt one of these days.

"Well, you see, in the First Age the Solars ruled all of creation, a fact that was errantly ended by the Dragon Blooded. But, you see, the Solars were not of sound mind - we had been corrupted by something called the Great Curse. Though that is gone now, so we don't have to worry about it." *comforting smile* "Now in our wisdom those who are among us understand the important of guidance and council, and the knowledge of the Sidereals. It is our place to rule, as I will one day rule all of these lands, and the ones your people call their own, but not without the guidance of the Sidereal - one whom you now are.

The Sidereals, in the olden days, were glorious masters of prophecy and change, who would guide the greatest of my kind alongside the most insignificant mortal along the important events of their lives; birth, adulthood, marriage, the trials of age, and death. But now, the Sidereals are hidden away, doing their sacred duty to keep creation alive in our absence, and readying new kingdoms and cultures for our rule. One of your sisters will be my wife; and my rule will be glorious and kind, while you guide from on high with your new brothers and sisters.

Because our work is not yet done. Foes and madmen in the Realm continue to stand in our way, and some Sidereals neglect their sacred duties. Demons sneak through the walls of their cage; Fae claw at the edges of the world. Mortal men take command where gods should, gods give orders they should not. Creation is in a time of tumult, an age of sorrows, and it is the job of the Solar Exalted to bring it out, and reforge it into a new age, an age that rivals the one now talked about only in legends and children’s tales, an age that will create wonders greater than those hinted at by the relics of times past and claimed by unsavory Men.

You must not give into their depredations, Valerie. You must rely on your strengths. You must learn with your fellows, upon not only my past, but your own. There are others in these lands - others like me, who need your guidance, and the wisdom that will be handed down to you. We will listen, even if we insist we will not - it is the way we were made by the gods. For the Solars to rule, loved and cared for by the Lunars, guided by the Sidereals, and served to their very deaths by the Dragon Blooded.

I do not know who you will guide; if it is me or some other that must find their way. But your task is set, and destiny foretold. I will bring you to others of your kind, and there we shall part ways, if only for a short time. When we next meet, I will have something for you to aid you in your quest. Until then, you must be strong, and study hard, because the fate of creation rests on our shoulders."

Oh, and he told her a bunch of tales from the first age that I don't have the time to transcribe here. Yea. Continuing on, our story finds its way to center of a ring of mushrooms. A faerie ring, they say, where the fae make their home. But the fae that made it's home here had long such perished from the cruel banality and iron swords of the world. The horse pawed the ground, skitterish, and eager to resume it's journey, displeased that it's travels were at an end. To either side, the Lunars stood, again in human form, wearing only a loincloth to hide their genitals.

Valerie hugged her prince tightly from behind, the two having swapped places while she slept, and looked out at the forest that lay behind the trees. In the distance, snow-capped mountains sat, and farther from home, she could see rolling hills of farmfields, and emerald fields where sheep grazed until they were fat and tired of the day. And beyond that, a glowing red and green anima banner?!

The ninja warriors kicked her off the horse, not doing any damage, while the solar furiously drew a golden Daiklave from the horses' saddle, and the Lunars utilized their Deadly Beastman Transformation in order to better protect their prize. But in the same moment three more Sidereals joined the fray, and everyone was kung fu fighting. Except for the Solar, who swung his Daiklave really well. And the beastmen, who went "Grraaarr!" and swung their claws.

But they did it in really cool ways, so that you didn't know they weren't kung-fu fighting.

Dizzy and confused, Valerie staggered away from the battle. But she was knocked down by a green-animaed sidereal, one of the ones who had chased her. He stood above her, yelling at his exalted foes.

"You foooools!" he cried, a harsh screeching sound, "You will never defeat me! I am master of the Green Dragon Serpent Style of Matrimony!"

To which the purple-animaed sidereal landed nearby, taking a pose not unlike that of a floating crane.

"Foolish old Seigriam! your Green Dragon Serpent Style of Matrimony is not Harmonious! It is my Orchid Rose of Midnight Clarity that will rule this day! Come, and know the power of the Sixteen-Mighty-Onslaughts-Of-Brilliance-Attack!"

And two leapt at each other, fighting in a way most peculiar to her eyes, for they each stood on one leg and hopped around, making squeeking noises at each other and fluttering their arms like unto birds.

Valerie wanted nothing to do with it, and a mysterious sound was talking in her soul, pulling her away from this world. She scurried to her feet, her white dress now stained with the blood of the grass instead of the blood of her adulthood, and it strained under the weight of her newly found feminity. But it was not long again until she fell again to the ground, cuddling to herself as two more Sidereals leapt in her path, one from either side. Confrontationally, they screamed insults at each other in high-pitched, dissonant voices, in a language she could not understand. But it kept up for several minutes, until they realized how silly they looked and weren't there. But they were. Later, reports would be found in both their records. Official complaints from the pattern spiders about "Sidereals who are too stupid to realize that 2 minutes is not 5 minutes. Thou shalt not count 5, neither shalt thy count their four, and especially not 3. 17 is right out. 2 is the number, and second is the number of thy counting, at least, if you didn't want to be there, anyhow. Don't forget it, dumbasses."

It seems that pattern spiders simply weren't having a good day.

So instead Valerie turned to her right and snuck towards Choten and his companions who had started to arc around her and were fighting in earnest, unaware of her presence. The Lunars would stop for a moment, each grabbing onto a sidereal, and then the solar would suddenly strike at both of the captured Solars, leaving several glistening contrails of essence through shadowy figures where the Sidereals once were, before they would suddenly spring through the constraining arms of the Lunar exalted and launch furious attacks at each other while the solar would stand and watch in utter amazement. Then the Lunars would growl angrily and jump on the Sidereals, clinching them, and then the solar would launch a fury of attacks again, only to repeat the process.

[Actually, I think I lost count of the number of Sidereals that were there at this point, but it was rather chaotic, what with all the high-essence charm use and "I'm not here!" going on. Really, what can we expect but to have a holey recollection of the whole thing? Indeed, were it not for this parchment we have here, under the geas of *Bang, as the commentator is shot*]

Valerie thus won her freedom from the sidereal martial arts contest, making her way to a strange stone dais in the remains of some ancient temple. Timidly, she walked onto it, and brushed the dirt from her robe. Looking either way, she followed the instinct that called, and wandered amongst the ruin until she came to a strange sundial-like object of glistening Orichalcum sticking from a small Moonsilver dial on a stone pillar. Laying her hand on the Orichalcum rod, she closed her eyes, spending her first motes of essence, and then the mortal world faded away into the brilliance of white light.