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Western Quotes

Interesting or Humorous Quotes from the game.

[#Session1]

Session 1

"Make some boxer shorts that look like the flag."
~Zip~
"Here."

"Who votes we fly the boxers and who votes we turn the ship invisible?"
"Boxers."
"Boxers."

"Turned into a girl by immaculate sorcery and the triwizard cup of diseases."

"I be the Dread Cabin Boy Great Scott!

"It's kinda like a socialize version of a barrel roll."

"He has the Pirates' Library."
"Let me guess, it's all filed under Arrr."

"I intimidate the Coin into working."

"The increasingly inaccuratly named triad of disease."

-Description of a stunt involving leaping along the backs of three Siaka-
"So, you are telling me that you are really going to Jump the Shark."

"There are few games where they Jump the Shark in the first session."

[#Session2]

Session 2

"He got bitched at by the prince of all cosmos."

"I'm attempting to figure out how to incorporate Hangovers into my master plan."

"You just admitted that she was a space hooker."

"His dice go to eleven."

"Can I go look at the Lemon Trees? Can I buy a shovel?"

"Are you intending to sound like Keanu Reeves?"

"Those bitches (Gorillias) stole my mist!"

"He was trying to decide wether to pee on it."

"Hey guys! I found an Albatros! Lets cook it!"

Sherrif Champok, those Solar boys is gettin' away again."

"Make a BS the storyteller roll."

"He cross connected the wrong two wires. The Leroy wire and the Jenkins wire!"

[#Session3]

Session 3

"It's the second most awesome pole I have."

"Hey, we're having fried Albatross today. That ok?"

"Tatske will do something later."

"Yes, there are girls there."
"If you try to do them, I'm leaving you behind."

"Oh, you can go ruin the economy."

"Uh-Oh. They are going to start taking on land."

<dalek> "HOT" </dalek>

<dalek> "Doctor, You Will Leave Us With The Porn." </dalek>

(after seeing a deathlord's giant obsidian tower) "Mine's bigger."

"You don't need nuts to be a pirate. Just look at the Linthas."

(upon seeing a giant crystal spire) "Yup, Mine's still bigger."

[#Session4]

Session 4

(While being Attacked by Pirates) "Keep it down!"

"I botched my Whistle roll."

"Don't you know about the detrimental side effects of seagull semen."

"I got a Safe."

"Screw silver. It's heavy and you can't piss off Spirits with it."

"I'm Rena and I can breath in Space."

(upon arriving at Island of the Invincible Willow)
"Our Island is the only one that can still erupt."
"But this one still has wood."

"You successfully dodge the chittering noise."

"You could wait for reinforcements."
"Bwhahahahahah!"

"Honored yet Mopped one."

"Hold on while I put on my Crime Eyes."

[#Session5]

Session 5

"Wind - Water - Fire - Earth - Wood's like heart... The Kukla is Captain Planet!"

"This is a Submarine"
"Huh?"
"The ultimate pirate device. The ultimate revenge device."
"Does the Sun like it?"
Long Pause
"Yes."

"But if you do that he'll have to Jump the Shark again."

In Summary: Giant Naked Woman in Marijuana field

"We're sympathetic. We're just not going to let you live it down."

"I'm feeling bad for you because my Compassion says I have to feel bad."

"I'll take care of the monkies. *Friendship with Animals Apporach!*"

"The Lawgivers! The rightful rulers of Creation! *runs by carrying a pig*"

"I've got my monkies, I've got my pig, I'm good to go."

"This is the second most complex method of planting evidence I've ever been involved with."

"We've created Miss Piggy!"

"This is such a WEIRD GAME"

-squeee-

"Between the Djala and the Loli we don't have any fanservice that anyone can admit to."

[#Session6]

Session 6

"Hey, it's a Daybreak Caste!"
"Did you say Daterape Caste?!"
"I think they just got renamed!"

"We've established nothing. Wonderful!"
"Well he HAVE traumatized a pair of children."

"Wasn't there, you know, the Immaculate with the things?"

"You lept off this safe ship into the dangerous water. Is there something we should know?"
"Probably."

Step 1: Fish
Step 2: ????
Step 3: Revenge!

"I didn't botch, but I did get 6 ones. Looks like the Sidereals are trying to kill me again."

"Does this mean I managed to land in the boobs?"

[#Session7]

Session 7

"So we've got igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rock people."
"If they're sedimentary, why don't we sing them a song?"

"Giant can of Heineken with a Keyblade."

"It appears worth noting that these guys do not have an visible genitals."

"He's the people doctor, I'm the golem doctor."
"And I'm the love doctor."
"No. You're not."

-After having a Siaka leap over them in an effort to escape the Hotblooed Anime Hero!-
"Not only has this game Jumped The Shark, but The Shark has Jumped the game."

-Points at a barrel with a mast and flames painted on it-
"That is the Ziggy Stardust!"
-The mast falls off-

-Group hears a howl that may be a dog, may be the screams of the souls of the damned.-
"I think that's for me."

"Do you have a plate to put the lobster on?"

"{The Vutch} are kind of like Mormons, only cooler."

-After traveling to the Vutch Isles-
"Oh my Sun, they've ravaged the village!"
"Eh, looks the same."

"So one and two..."
"He has renamed us. I am One and you are Two. Do you understand, Two Vutch?"

[#Session8]

Session 8

"I smell formaldehyde and silicone. There must be an Abyssal nearby!"

"Oh that's right, he has an entire island of ammo for the Vutch Cannon."

"I never run away from a fight! Full speed ahead!"
"Yeah, that's all you buddy."

"That's Mine!"
"No, it's mine!"
"That's not what my character sheet says."
"It's what mine says."

"Can we go on your tube?"
"No."
"We can't go on his tube."

"Huh. It's only a little death."

"The ship's name is 'HaHa! Fools! We're going to steal your island and burn it to the ground!'"

"He is dead and not a lesbian."

"Why is it the loli is the ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T NEED BABYSITTING!?"

"Seven Successes."
"That's more than I got to write my name in flame."

-The Ninja stands revealed on the top of the mast.-
"The ninja was on the Ziggy Stardust II the entire time!"
-Mast falls off dunking Ninja in the water.-

"We must do battle on the beach, so that neither is at a disadvantage and because he needs a towel."

"I have wondrous visions of the First Age: towering spires, smiling faces, exquisite beer..."

"He has love for nothing but adventure."
"But women are cool too."

"Osu!"
"Osu!"
"Osu!"
"Beer!"
"Osu!"
"Osu!"

"This is the Pantsless Exalted Episode."

"Maybe they were after our apple jack?"
"But it does not taste like apples."

Session 9

"Well after paying all the necessary fees and taxes..."
"We're Pirates."
"..I get off the boat."

"I'm the captain of a Ship!"
"What's it called?"
"The Ziggy Stardu-"
-Thump-
"I gotta get that thing fixed!"

"I've got my eye on you my eye on you my eye on...hold on a minute I need to go the the Wyld."

"You've trapped him with your balls."

"I just have special balls."

"So a Wyld-tainted moron who won't do ink ate me?"
"He ate other people too!"

"I'm not eating your ninja. I'm not that kind of Lunar."

"Eating ninjas is totally acceptable around these parts."

"You keep lumping me in with him."
"You keep giving him reason to."

Session 10

"Why does the mast keep falling? It took a bite of fall-fall!"

"Are you my dad?"
"No."
"Good."

"Can conviction apply to a reading roll?"

"You're on the boat with me, so you're safe, unless He gets on the boat. Then you're boned."

"My character really isn't scared."
"Of course not. You're a shonen Anime hero. You aren't that bright."

"Dirk Steel Mantis doesn't use a needle to donate blood, he walks to the back with a daiklave and a bucket."

"I thought you grabbing helpful and loyal NPCs, not us screw-ups."

"Ok we've gone under the shark, over the shark, Jumped the Shark and now we've killed the shark."

-Does the Haruhi Dance- "That was the first 13 seconds of the three day Vutch ritual."

Session 11

"There's something you need to keep in mind."
"You're reflected in all the pillars?" "Ok; two things." "You're gorgeous?" "Ok, THREE things."

"It's SUPPOSED to be like that."
"My medical knowledge begs to differ."

"It's somebody's stash."
"Smoke it!"
"I don't know what it is!"
"Smoke it!"

"Where is your boss?"
"We don't believe in bosses; we're an autonomous collective."

"Huh. My dad's trying to kill me."
"Are you saying that aloud."

"He does have some kind of beer you can't get in Creation..."
-On Moray Darktide

Session 12

"So Jo...Ni...which one of my friends are you again?"

"I don't wanna be the control unit!"

"I support the notion of him putting on pants."

"Is your name Mid-boss?"

"Luna appeared to me in the form of a mobster. A mobster lobster."

"Breathing water is easy, just turn into something with gills."
"You would think there SHOULDN'T be a problem with that."

"One word. First of all - "
"That's three."

"My ship. My rules. No pants! NO HOLES!"

"If you feel the need to strip naked and dance around and make a scene..."
"AaaaAAHh!"

"I know you can't see my lack of pants, but I assure you, they are most definitely not there!"

"Are you SURE you two aren't married?"

Session 13

Hey, I have Intelligence 3.
Hm, I'll have to let more of your plans succeed.

"I got nothin'."
"You got a new pocket watch."

"Potatoes."

"I wear weights."
"That's a girdle."
"A WEIGHTED girdle."

"Don't we have Moray Darktide's old clothing?"
"Yeah, but I'm not wearing his underwear."
"I am. Breezy."

"Have we considered seduction?"
"We can all walk up in our underwear-"
"-and now that we've considered seduction, let's move on."

"Good job, you made a girl cry. New low, and that's saying a lot."
"WHEEEEeeEEEEEeE!"
"Roly-Poly!"

Got any relevant Excellencies?<bt> I will spend ten dollars to buy the GM lunch.

Session 14

"It's a bird!"
"It's not always a bird. You know how sometimes he's a scorpion in your pants?"

"You're standing in front of a foreboding dungeon, what do you do?"
"...I take my pants off."

"Hi. I'm Black Lotus Blossom."
"Get lost bitch."

"[Sushi] is lazy cooking for people that can't use FIRE."

There seem to be a lot of sea life around here.
"Is there a valid reason for this like a coral reef or..."
"...or a fish store?"

"You like honey, don't you? You know what that is?"
"Don't ruin it for me."

"Jumping on the wildlife is not the best way to ingratiate yourself with it."
"Is killing it any better?"
"It doesn't really have an opinion afterwards."

"This is not really the intended purpose for the sword of my ancestors."
"Look, you use the sword of your ancestors to make your cape billow at appropriate times."
"That's what my ancestors used it for."

"I'm sure we cannot POSSIBLY defeat dinosaurs."

"If it's being encased in a fifteen foot wall, we can probably kill it."

"I'm a pirate. I saunter."

"Cows don't come from balls."
"No, usually animals come out of other animals in smaller and wetter form."

"Mass Fetch'em."

"Your balls have the power to soothe the savage beast."