Revision as of 08:08, 5 April 2010

The Bishop on the Landing

The Bishop on the Landing, now one of the Lords of Cute Angst, was once a high priest in the cult of the Unconquered Sun, back in the Harem Age, or so he claims. And he still dresses like one, in white robes with green and yellow trim, especially the huge green scarf with intricate yellow sunbeams embroidered on it which hangs down the front of his robes and around the back of his neck, one side dangling down from each shoulder. He wears a huge elliptical white hat marked with the sign of the Unconquered Sun...in black.

He was a Stalwart once, back in the Harem Age, and in many ways, he still is, just twisted and bent to dark purpose. He remains a rock of strength in a world of chaos, someone whose will cannot be denied or bent from its purpose; not even death could stop him. And he retains the charm and persuasion skills of a Stalwart as well. But now he preaches a gospel of pain and suffering, which will crush the weak and build up the strong, doing his best to make everyone suffer, for suffering refines the soul into finer stuff. In darkest times, the bright lights shine all the brighter and he intends to make them shine until everyone goes blind. He will make the whole world a wilderness, for it is in the wilderness, in the wild places, that souls are refined into higher forms, in the wilderness that the truly faithful have visions and guidance from the goddesses above, once one pays for one's insight with enough suffering.

The Bishop commands armies of wild animals, who come and bow to him, licking his hands and killing and hounding all around him in the name of the Gospel of Night Sorrows, the great holy text written by the Bishop, a work which is still on-going. He is said to have bent a few catgirls to his will as well, to command his legions. All catgirls deny this, of course, but that's what you'd expect them to do, so it must be true.

He controls a great cathedral and cave complex, including a cathedral made entirely out of salt in the caves, known as the Cathedral of Tears, though he hold his main services in the surface cathedral. It is in the middle of a huge ancient shadowland.

A Passage from the Gospel of Night Sorrows:

If you meet the Unconquered Sun on the road, kill him. For the Unconquered Sun who can be slain is false. And if he kills you, then you too are false, but in death, you may yet find new birth and true strength.

You must strip yourself of everything extraneous and go into the wilderness, to live and die by your own strength, not that of tools or societies, or Magical Girl guardians. Only when you lose everything can you gain the one thing which matters: Enlightenment and Faith. Two things. Two things which matter. Enlightenment, Faith, and Visions. Alright, three things which matter. And you can enhance your Moe. Okay, four things.

Now as I was saying...

Servants and Rivals

The Bishop finds his more militant fellow Lords of No Fun to be rather annoying, such as The Mask of Vintners, Walker, Undead Ranger and The Slayer Who Wields Sharp Things and Is Surrounded by Crazy Chicks. If he must fight, he uses animals, but he prefers to use his talent with words to bind his foes in chains which cannot be cut with blades.

If that doesn't work, he uses a special charm to feign death; this forces his foes to ceremonially intone, "The Bishop! We wuz too late!" and to go through the procedures for dealing with dead bishops while he absconds.

The Bishop on the Landing is served by four known Gothic LolitasTheKawaiiEdition/TheBishopOnTheLanding/Shotas/Trap-chans:

• The Canon of the Game: Blue haired and glasses wearing, the Canon of the Game is a hyper-legalistic priestess of the Bishop's cult. She has memorized every word of the Gospel of Night Sorrows and keeps constant track of addition and changes. Anyone who misquotes it or fails to obey it will face her wrath. Life must be lived by the book OR NOT LIVED AT ALL, and she gleefully disposes of anyone who disobeys her. Definitely a Priestess of the Night
• The Acolyte of the Night Mysteries: Short with short dark hair, he looks like an eight year old but he acts like the head of a mystery cult, hinting constantly at his hidden wisdom and reinterpreting everything symbolically until you snap. He likes to brag that the Canon is his girlfriend, but she denies this fervently. He also claims he is really an adult trapped in a child body. Whether this is true or if he is playing to shota fetishists is unclear. He is a Keeper of Shadow Lore.
• The Cuckoo: It is not clear whether the Cuckoo is male or female, appearing as both as useful. The Cuckoo steals children, luring them into the wilderness with promises of a better life, candy, a pony, or whatever else the child wants, then abandoning them, alone or in groups. The survivors will eventually be rescued by the Bishop or more commonly one of his servants, and brought into the Bishop's service if possible or just turned loose if not. The weak and ugly, of course, will die. But that just means another chance at a better life in the Underworld, you know. The Cuckoo is a Merchant of Death.
• The Saint: Clad usually as a priestess, she has long black hair and playful orange eyes. Her duty is to steal holy relics which are overly relied on by their owners and bring them to the Bishop. Only by losing all they held sacred can people come to understand true faith which does not rely on objects but on one's own strength and holiness. They'll thank her later. A Dancer of Death.

The Bishop never creates Elegant Euthanatizers, seeing them as crude and clumsy; he tends to favor his Priestesses of the Night.