Latest revision as of 01:18, 6 April 2010

Obligatory Evil Business Organizations

It is required, by international law, that all Storyteller games contain one or more evil business organizations, that one might mock and slay the minions of capitalism, laying waste to stand-ins for the businesses you hate most in reality. Standard Exalted contains the Guild, who exemplify all the worst aspects of capitalism, yet die like little chumps, being mostly mortal. Satisfying, yet why settle for one evil business when you can have several?

The Joint-Stock Company

Founded to serve as a trading company and bank for Cut'n'Shoot by the ever-literal Grand Moff "Tigger" Tigranes of the Seventh and a Half Legion, TJSC has gone on to become a massive international player in trade and finance. They are the supreme bankers of creation, starting and ending wars, founding colonies, and assassinating holy men and women, all in the names of keeping the economy flowing. They have come to see themselves as the guardians of international trade and freely use hired assassins and mercenary armies to deal with attempts to raise protectionist barriers, nationalization of resources, or even just saying you don't like bankers.

Sheriff Andrew Jackson, one of the major leaders of the Old East, is known to hate The Joint-Stock Company and has sworn to 'Kill it'. It remains unclear how he plans to do this, though most expect shooting and beating things with his canes will play into this, he being the sort to always play to his own strengths.

HEXCorp

HEXCorp is a new player in the realm of evil business. Founded by renegade Magical Girls, it places a heavy emphasis on all things demonic and the use of enslaved elementals to make money. HEXCorp will do anything sorcerous if the price is right, and they also sell all those hard to find things, like 'the left lung of a dream' or 'hair from a 50 year old virgin of the Houri Gang'. It's an open question whether they are well on their way to subversion by the You'll See, or whether they started off already subverted.

They're definitely perverted, anyway...

La Cosa Nostradamus

International Drug Trafficking is dominated by La Cosa Nostradamus, run by a circle of renegade Helping Goddesses. They use their prophetic powers to figure out how the demand and supply of drugs will change, then move in and take over the key players, replacing them by the use of Disguises, if necessary.

They utilize a race of giant sentient, semi-humanoid pitchers of liquid to produce their drugs. These giant armed and limbed pitchers (with faces drawn in black on one side of the pitcher) constantly produce various drugs in liquid form and are constantly being slowly drained off and allowed to solidify into everything from alcohol to crack cocaine to pogs. One such pitcher, however, escaped many years ago and fights a lonely guerilla war against La Cosa Nostradamus. It is unclear whether or not Kool-Aid Man will ever liberate his brethren.

Of late, La Cosa Nostradamus has been experimenting with addictive dinosaurs, to break into the kiddy market, since kids love Dinosaurs. However, repeated maimings of test children and testers alike by the test models have made progress slow.

MEP, Inc. (Mindlessly Evil Polluters, Inc)

MEP was founded in Minas LankWaterHawk in order to dispose of the endless filth produced by the city without turning all local waterways into total sewers. The legitimate side of the business continues to work all over Creation, hauling away the wastes produced by cities.

What people do not realize, however, is that MEP has fallen under the control of garbage, waste, and pollution spirits, known as MacBaines. The MacBaines feed on the collected wastes and grow mighty; they then send their spirit children into the cities to encourage people to pollute like crazy, thus leading to more wastes and MORE POWER for the MacBaines. They refer to this as the 'circle of growth'; others call it 'AN EVIL PLOT!'

The Catgirls are especially annoyed by attempts by MEP to draw the barbarian tribes into this cycle of pollution, and have been known to go on mad killing sprees through MEP facilities. Of course, this just makes them look psychotic to outsiders and leads to sympathy contracts offered to MEP. And the mess made by the Catgirls feeds the MacBaines. Everyone wins. Except the environment, anyway.